How do I start dating?

Question

I'm 20 years old, very shy, and have very few friends, none of them being close friends. I've actually been on one date, but the girl went from having the hots for me to getting pregnant by another guy in about 3 weeks. Whatever though, I'm completely over that. However, I have really liked quite a few girls over the years, and I've always been too shy and disappointed myself. I actually got very depressed last semester over this one girl that I liked, but never even had the nuts to ask her if she had a boyfriend. Ever since I went on my first date in december, I've felt pretty good, mostly because I was not concentrating on girls as much. Instinctively, I want a girl to be with and what not, but there's this part of me that doesn't want to be disappointed like I have been so many times. I just don't know how to shut that voice up and get out there. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Be yourself, open up to other people. If she is a good girl she should like you for who you are. Don't be afraid of disapointment, if you life life like you should and take a few risks you shouldn't be disapointed. Introduce yourself, what's the worse thing that could happen? 1 person out of the other 5 billion on the planet might think you're shy or something. Think about it this way, if she does, wait for a while and see if it lasts.

I am still REALLY shy too. But I've made a few good friends that have taught me to live life more openly and fully. Don't be afraid to flirt. lol.

Answer 2

Above anything else, young women want to see confidence. If a girl sees you as weak, instinctively she's probably not going to want to date you. I'm not saying they wan big, dumb linebackers all the time either. If you don't give a crap whether or not you get rejected, she's more likely to bite. Use a man's voice (don't sound weak or nervous). Act as if she's the one asking you out and you're thinking about it. And start small; ask if she'd like to come with you to see a movie or something like that.
As far as getting the nuts to ask a girl out goes, if she's too snobby to even give you a shot with her, you probably don't want to be dating her anyway. If she rejects you, it's still better than being lead on and finding out later she only likes you as a friend. I'd say the most important thing is to not give a crap whether she says yes or no. She'll see it as confidence and like it and if she still says no, life goes on. Don't value yourself by how many girls you get. How many people do you know that are complete pieces of crap that hook up with a lot of chicks?

Answer 3

OK man i have been there, first you got to be bold, second be bold, third don`t be afraid that they will say no, because you are going to get it every now and then so just ask and if they say no move on and ask someone else, and finally if you are still shy make it a game to see who gets the more yes between your friends and you in about a month or something like that but the most important thing is BE BOLD!!

Answer 4

Grab your boot straps and get yourself out there, If your afraid of looking foolish...so be It and move on, the more you try the better you will get at it .Then you can call the shoots, as If this one you would like to spend the rest off your life with...or is this a possibility disappointment again If so move on ,this too you will get better at with time etc .............O K..................................

Answer 5

Oh man. You really need this. I was just like you. Hopefully this will help you figure it out a lot faster than it took me.

Here's what I posted for someone else... It's a little long... but it's my best dating advice.

Here's my advice for men.

1) Stop worrying about being single. That is killing your confidence.
2) Ask women to go on dates but your only goal is to make friends. If it goes further, that's great. At least you started as friends.
3) Follow these dating rules.

a. First date is a short one. Lunch. That's it. Movies and a dinner on a first date turn into a never ending hell for someone. If your goal is to make a friend then keep it short. She’s going to hate you if you put her through a date from hell. Remember, the more women you have as friends, the more likely you are going to be confident around woman and who knows, maybe you’re not right for her but she's got friends... I've been on blind dates set up by women I went on a date with...

b. Get her to talk about herself. If she wants to hear your life story, she'll ask. Here's one of my favorites. "If you won a 10 million dollar lottery, what would you do?" If she gives you a bunch of self centered materialistic answers, don't ask her on a second date... You can find out a lot about someone by their answer to this. Stay away from intimate questions, past boy friends... Politics, work, books she's read are ok. (politics & religion are two good ways to find out is someone is compatible with you. I went on a date with a woman I thought I knew pretty well. Thought she was level headed... Then she took a hard right turn and left me in the dust. Knew right then and there we weren’t compatible) the deal is, YOU are trying to find out if you want to ask HER out again. You are not trying to make her your girlfriend.

c. Second date. (and don't be hurt if you don’t get a second date. Be sure to leave her a way to so "no" without hurting your feelings. Don't play hurt puppy if she says no.) Can last a little longer. Dinner. Not romantic. Not expensive. You are not trying to buy her. Still keep it light. You can ask some family questions but don't dig too deep. She'll probably have more questions for you. Answer truthfully. Again, don't make this a big date deal.

d. Third date. (I took a lot of women on 1st dates. Less than a third made it to second dates. Only a handful made it to 3rd dates. Only two did I have committed relationships with. Last one I married) Best third date... The zoo. It is not romantic. That makes it neutral ground. Takes about 2 to 3 hours to walk around and see all the animals. Gives you both some time to spend with each other. Depending on how everything is going, you both might discuss intimate details of past relationships and family issues. And might not. Take it easy. You might be very attracted to someone the first time you see them, but it takes time to build a relationship...

If she's goes on a 3rd date, it means that she's interested in seeing where this will lead. Doesn't mean she loves you with all her heart yet... Doesn't mean she's ready to get intimate.

When to kiss? When to get physical. For all people it is different. If you haven't held hands, you shouldn't expect a kiss. If a woman was ready to do anything more than hold hands on the 3rd date, I dropped her. If she was throwing herself at me I made tracks. Desperate people latch onto the 1st thing that comes their way. I wanted to date women who were willing to analyze me as a right choice & ensure the relationship would last. I figured if a woman was ready to hop into the sack with me before she new me, then she was willing to do that with someone else too. And in this day and age of STDs that can kill you, you have to remember, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with...

Remember, a nice guy doesn't force a woman to like him. Doesn't force her to get physical.
Doesn't force her to be a ***** to get rid of him.

Don't be desperate. Women don't want desperate men. They want confident men. They want to believe you chose them over all other women that you could have had... That is why they date guys who treat them poorly. They mistake indifference for confidence...

Start making friends. Don't feel hurt if you get rejected. You can only get hurt if you set your expectations too high.

I spend years and years waiting for someone to save me. Someone to fix me. I figured out no one wants to work that hard. Had to fix myself. Said screw it, and changed my expectations to making friends. In one year I asked out more women than I did in ten years. I stopped worrying about be rejected & grew confident that I would find a good woman. Had one really bad relationship, one that was mostly good and I learned a lot about what I really wanted, third one was magic.

Took three years of dating to find the woman I wanted to marry.

Been married 10 years.

Good luck out there. Take your time don't be afraid to ask women out.

Answer 6

Try being gay.