How can we go about taking things slow?

Question

So I'm dating this guy... I'd say we've been officially dating for almost two months now seen e/other and hung out 6 times. We talked and liked e/other when I had a bf couldnt do anything at that time cause i had a bf but as soon we split we started dating. He was at my house this past wkend and we started listening to music and cuddling which led to our first kiss.Well things got a little hot and hands started wandering and we were both so into it. I however decided to stop before things got too far. Hes a very passionate kisser and his touch is amazing. I already told him I'm not trying to go too far yet but how do I make it easier done than said? I would actually like to wait till May or June.

Answer 1

I am so proud of you.

You did the right thing. Now it's his turn.

It won't be easy for him (Young guys have a lot of hormones and not enough life expereince to know what's good for them...) and you have to be firm in your resolve.

If he's a nice guy, he'll wait. Because if he's looking for a nice girl he's found one.

Now here's the trick. You can't keep teasing him. Don't let yourselves be alone in places where sex is possible. No, sex in an elevator inbetween floors is not possible...

If you are a recovering alchoholic you don't go hang out at bars.

Holding hands, kissing in public, those are ok. But no more heavy petting. You'll get his hormones goin' and then he's going to be upset & feel like your rejecting him (Or at least teasing him).
And I can't stress this enough. You want him to wait another 3 months? You've already given him a sample of the goods. He's gonna be like a racehorse at the starting gate... I don't know if you can give him a due date... That may be too easy for him. I would tell him that your not ready & you know that a nice guy would wait and you want him to be a nice guy. Tell him it could take a couple of months... Believe me, men will forget your birthdate, but he'll remember April 1st... LOL. Then when it rolls around to April and he starts bugging you about it, push it another 30 days. Any more than that and he's going to wear out his hand...

Good luck to you both.

A~

Answer 2

I think if the guy likes you he is willing to wait. However, it depends on the age of the guy. If he is between the ages of 16-21, and sexually active it will take some serious help. In order to take things slow still talk on the phone and COMMUNICATE! Communication is a very key part in the equation. If you all see each other or want to go out make sure it is in public, (ex. movies, bowling alley, restaurants, coffee houses, lounges, etc.) If you both are at each others homes make sure someone is present. I say this because with guys, you normally “pick up where you left off…” You can still give him a passionate kiss to let him know that you are still interested. Also, don’t put off things that you normally do to accommodate his schedule.

Answer 3

I'm sure you will be placed in that situation again. The thing is that you both need to set an understanding when it comes to sex. Granted, there is no real answer as to when it the right time or when it is long enough in a relationship to start having sex. But you both need to decide how to control yourselves when alone together. You both are adults. You both need to respect one another. If you let him know that you would like to wait, then he should respect that and wait it out. You stopped it the first time so hopefully, you can continue to control it before it gets too far. Good luck.... =)

Answer 4

Sex is not something that you plan for... if the mode is right can just happen and sometimes we regret that decision soon after.... but the way to keep things moving slow... you have done the 1st thing by letting him know that you want to wait for a while... the next thing is to try to avoid being in an environment where it's easy to go that far... go out on dates where the two of you are in the open and limiting your romantic environment... the rest is up to you on far you are willing to let him go... and when you're ready let him know...

Answer 5

Don't put yourself in compromising positions.

Try not to be in romantic settings if you can help it. Like the music thing. If the lights were turned down low, that's probably what really did it. And what type of music was it? Avoid slow songs in cases like this until the time is right.

Make it known to him once more if you have to. Let him know how serious you are about it. He should respect that with no problem.

Hope this helped, and hope all goes well!

Answer 6

1. Keep the hand wanderings to a minimum.

2. Tell him that you want to take it slow and you want to know everything there is to know about him (if he's a gentleman, he will understand and wait for you)

3. Try not to lead him on, because that is just mean. I know its funny to women how much of a "horndog" men can be, but understand that leading us on is just mean spirited. Every time you get him aroused, its extremely hard (no pun intended) and painful to calm down.

Answer 7

It is about self control! Tell him that you aren't ready, decide how far you ARE willing to go, and then stick with your decision! The more often you put yourself in a situation where things could happen, the more likely you are to slip. STAY OUT OF THE BEDROOM!!!!

Answer 8

Don't spend alot of time around the house...Go on dates in public, have another cpl over if you're eating dinner at home. And listen to your gut...you made this decision for a reason so stick with it.

Answer 9

Dont let it get that far next time. You will be less tempted.sounds like it wont be able to wait till may or june.

Answer 10

Just a thought... you might want to come right out and tell him, so his expectations are exactly in line with your wishes. That would limit any frustration, or incorrect expectations. Seems like it would be best for both of you.