I met this guy a month ago, and really made a connection with him. I mean we know what each other is thinking.I also have never made this type of connection w/ any of the previous guys i dated. He told me that he likes me but he cant give me a 100%, because he just got out of an engagement a month and half ago, and he still thinks about "her". Some people say i am just wasting my time and i should move on. For some reason i feel differently, i mean im hoping that i could be the girl that he opens up to again. He figures that time could only heal the broken heart. Any suggestions on how to make it heal faster? :)
2007-02-27 07:45:52 · 17 answers · asked by italnprincess22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he is telling you he cannot give you a 100% then HE CANNOT GIVE YOU 100%. Do not try to be his savior and help heal his wounds. He has to do that on his own. The only thing you can do is be his friend. If you can't handle just being his friend then you should move on. You are not being fair to yourself or him. He sounds like a smart guy--he is not leading you on and he knows that time is the only thing that is going to help.
2007-02-27 07:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by blah1977 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Main concern here is not being a rebound girl. You don't want that. You can hang out, be there for him, but do not get romantically involved with him for at least 6-8 months. I assume that he was the dumpee of the engagement (she dumped him). Protect yourself here. True time will heal his broken heart, you just need to be a butterfly and float around (not away) for the 6-8 months and then see if he can give you 100% then.
2007-02-27 15:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, I think giving him time is the best thing. If it's only been a month and a half since he was engaged to someone else, it's only natural that he still thinks about her and isn't ready to move on yet. Just be his friend and don't push for anything more right now. If it's meant to be, it will happen at the right time. The best things in life are worth waiting for, so if you feel like this guy is the right one, wait a while and see how things go.
2007-02-27 15:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by kielsa03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
“Some people say I am just wasting my time and I should move on. He figures that time could only heal the broken heart. Any suggestions on how to make it heal faster?”
Those ‘some people’ who said you were wasting your time are correct. His thought process of him sorting out his own feelings about a failed relationship is what he needs to get him through it-and if you really care about him as much as you say to then you would be there as a friend not selfishly seeking to make him get over his pitfall so that you can have him. He was a gentleman to be honest with you about the engagement and its dissolution which is more than I can say for many men. Most men tend to use the first woman they find, lie to her about his feelings and have sex with her and once he’s bored, he throws her away like she’s a used contraceptive for men! He thinks highly of you to stress that you deserve a man that can truly give you all of himself and not have a hankering for his ex-fiancée, so I would just be satisfied with having a good friend in him and start to consider dating other men. Dating is not the same as exclusiveness as long as you are lady enough not to have sex with these men and say you are their girlfriend. If you date at least 3 or 4 men at a time, and you are completely honest with them about your intentions of finding the right man, then chances are you will not find yourself hung up on a man that maybe is not as interested in you and you are in him. Having more options can do that to any person. My advice is, have hopes for the future of your friendship with this young man-but also have you dance (date) card stamped so that you can have options of finding a decent man if it turns out the first guy isn’t the one. Besides, by having the other men dating you, this would kind of may the guy fresh out of the engagement jealous and feel the need to compete for your affections and thereby it will bring you to you to show you he can be the man for you. Just try it out and see…….
2007-02-27 16:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by marquella_la_nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey the way he feels could last a long time and you shouldn't just wait around for him. I would still be friends with him but you should date other people to. Because he's already told you that he can't give you 100% and chances are you're not gonna be too happy if you're giving 100% and he's not and you can't make anybody change that. And if he's already told you then you'll have nobody to blame but self if you wait around for just him and get your heart broken. Good Luck!
2007-02-27 15:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't speed up the process of healing. If you say that you have a really strong connection with him, then I say you be patient and you wait. Wait for him till he's ready. That is only if you strongly feel that he could be the one for you. Otherwise, move on.
2007-02-27 15:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by somegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only suggestion would be to just give him time, I mean stay with him and just give him lots of sugar and he'll see that you a great girl and sooner or later he'll stop thinking of his ex, I mean you can't forget someone totally, but atleast he'll get over her and not think of her anymore later on and you'll be the one he thinks of. So, don't try to rush, because that's why we do mistakes because we rush, so take your time and you'll see that things will brighten up for both of you. Good Luck. *_*
2007-02-27 15:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he has your name and your number.... tell him you really hope his heart mends quickly, but you aren't about to compete with a memory. Ask him to give you a call when he's back to 100%, you'll let him know if you're still at 100% at that time.
Kiss, Kiss, Hug, Hug. Bye
2007-02-27 15:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him time.......... Stay with him through it all, be the shoulder that he leans on, and then someday when he snaps out of it he will realize who has been there with him the whole time. I know that might not be fun for you but he does need someone, no matter what we guys say when **** happens we need to talk to someone. Just be there for him
2007-02-27 16:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by Badger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that can make him feel any differently. He may never get over her. If you believe in your relationship then stick around and hope for the best. Good luck!
2007-02-27 15:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋