Should couples put their kids in daycare?

Question

Seems like many "couples" i'm not talking about "single" parents here, are putting their kids in day care and letting other people ussually total starngers, raise them through the formative years. These people could get by on one income if they did with a little less. Why do people have kids if they dont want to raise them themselves????

Come on people, dont get so emotional and defensive. Im not being judgemental, Im simply seeking intelligent information as to why North Americans do this?

Okay...heres the thing...what has happened to our society that we place so much importance on material objects instead of family values. Why is the most important one in the household the one that brings in the $$$. When really all that person is doing is supporting the most important job in the world...RAISING A HUMAN BEING.
I cry inside eveytime I hear a woman describe herself as "just a housewife".Why does our society place so little value on the role of motherhood?
THREE CHEERS to stay at home moms! You are our true heroes. Moms work on call 24/7, they dont get paid, they dont get a retirement pension and they usually dont even get a thank-you.
My issue is not with those who need to work, but with those who dont need to and still do anyway. Do without the boat, the motor home and the extras, and stay home at least till your child goes to school at age 5 or 6. He/she will thank you for it, and so will society as a whole.

Answer 1

I'm sorry, but I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EARS!!! Speaking from experience, being thrown into daycare is probably one of the worst things a parent can do. I spent my entire childhood in daycare and it DOES has an impact on my adult life. I am not close to my parents, and never had a good relationship with my mom. She was never around, she was always at work. I don't have that wonderful mother/daughter relationship I should have. I never had anyone around to help me with my school work, or to take me to the zoo, or even do small things like taking walks after lunch. Do you know how lonely and unwanted your child feels because some stranger is feeding, helping with homework, dressing, entertaining your child? The most important job in the world is being a parent to your child. And no matter how small a moment is, I would have much rather have spent childhood moments with my parents than some stranger!!

And I'm sorry, but if people really wanted to live on one income, they could do it. I know people that have sacrificed new cars, internet access, cell phones, new computers/electronics, cable TV just so the mom could stay home with the baby. You can afford it, you just don't want to go without all of the fancy material crap society tells us we need. I'd rather live in a small house, drive a used car than miss spending time with my child. Nothing can replace the satisfaction of knowing that you will be there for your child whenever they need you, no matter how big or small. NO JOB SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR CHILD!

It's sad, but wait until your children grow up and then ask them if they would've rather hang out and play games, read, interact with their parents all day, or some stranger that could care less??? I personally would have rather been more important to my parents than some crappy, dead-end job!!!

Answer 2

Sometimes the cost of living in an area forces the parents to have to work. I work full time, but my son isn't in daycare more than 8 hours (and believe me I feel bad enough about that). My husband and I have cut back on many, many things, and we've run our budget many, many times. With the cost of living in our area, short of selling the house and living in a box, we can not afford to live on one income. We both make about the same amount, so loosing 1/2 the income would basically put us out on the street.

We spend as much time with our son as we can when we get home from work and over the weekends. We are reluctant to do anything that we can't take our son with us. He's very happy and well adjusted and I'm still looking for something I can do from home that would give me a comprable income, but right now, there's nothing out there....

Sometimes it's not really what the parents want to do, but it's what we have to do to provide for our children.

Answer 3

Okay, first of all your question is stated very rudley. Some couples, like my husband and myself for instance, canNOT live off of one income if we were to put our children in daycare. Second of all, it is GREAT to send your child(ren) to a daycare setting, whether it be an actual center or a private daycare/school or what have you. Sending your children to daycare improves their social skills as well as teaches them that being with other people (aka: the workers) means that it will give them different opinions about things in the world and let them learn that they don't always need mommy and daddy to have fun and learn at the same time. I cannot believe that you would say that people shouldn't have kids if they can't raise them theirselves ... that is just plain rude! People that have children have them for all different reasons, but all share a common reason ... they want children and they want to be able to bring a child into this world that God wants them to have and to love. Putting them in daycare is not bad for children, if anything it is wonderful. If you have children, then you are selfish if you think couples shouldn't have children because they would put them in daycare. Daycare is the SAME THING as regular school, just for a younger age bracket. If you were to say that putting your child in SCHOOL is considered bad and that they should be raised by the parents and not go to school, you have some issues you have to work out. The main point is that if couples want to have children, God will bless them with them and there is no question about it that that certain couple was supposed to have children. For example, I am 23 years old and have 2 children (a 3 year old and a 5 month old) and I have them because God blessed me with them and knew that I should have kids, regardless of the daycare situation. Again, if you have kids then you need to look at things from a different perspective and stop being so spoiled and if you don't have children, DON'T.

Answer 4

Many people have different reasons. My parents wanted me to interact with other kids, and they didn't want my grandparents to do it since it might put too much strain on them with a 3 year old running wild.

It turned out for the better though. It's true that most of the time it's complete strangers that care for the kid, but they are nice and there are usually no problems since the kids are really young. Although it was pretty harsh on most of the kids since they are out of their parents' care for the first time, most of them get along well. See, when I was a toddler My mum took care of me when I was 1, a neighboor when I was 2, and daycare when I was three. My brother? Mum when he was 1 and for the rest of it, grandma. (not the same set of grandparents that might have cared for me) He was SPOILED. even his 1st grade teacher knew it. she asked my dad about how I was raised, and how he was raised, and said it was the daycare that disciplined me.

Although it's true you can get on fairly well with 1 income, when the parents know that they can have 2 incomes by putting their kid in the daycare, which is not a harsh place.

Answer 5

I actually did a paper about this while I was in school. What I found was that, although most agree that a stay-at-home parent is the best way for children to be raised, in some cases it was better for children to attend daycare. There were cases where a mother would be depressed by staying home rather than working, or cases where a child genuinely enjoyed daycare (usually in an expensive, upper-class facility). In general, though, unless the daycare facility is very nice and children are spending minimal amounts of time there, it is not a good idea. Children who spent more than 40 hrs. a week at a daycare had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and also exhibited violent behavior.

Answer 6

It is okay if you think daycare is not YOUR best option, but it is not okay to decide this for other people! I personally don't put my children in daycare, and for that I have given up a lot more than most of my friends that do put their kids in daycare because they make more money...but the fact is that we respect each other for what we need to do and the kids are ALL just fine. Life is too short to worry about others when you need to worry about your own family.

Answer 7

I believe putting your kids in daycare is a good thing. They are not being "Raised" by the daycare center(s). The daycare introduces your child to social interaction, helps build there immune systems, and teaches other activites that you and your spouse don't know.

Our child is doing half days at the daycare and loving the different interactions. It's also nice for parents to be able to continue focusing on there own lives. One day your child will be in school for that time so it's nice to have your career still working.

You sound bitter.

Answer 8

I most def think it is OK for couples to put their children in daycare. Most day cares (eg YMCA) are really great and help the children learn how to play and interact with other children of different ages. I worked at a daycare during my college years and we did a lot of educational and fun things! If the daycare is not with the school your child is at then your child also has an opportunity to meet other children other then just in their school or neighborhood. Unless you are taking a child to a rinky dink daycare for the most part they usually better a child in all different types of ways!

Either way spending time with your child or taking them to daycare is good, it just depends on the parents and how they parent their children. :o)

Answer 9

My husband and I give up a lot so that I can be a SAHM but at the same time I understand people do have money problems. People have different beliefs and that's just fine. In an ideal world we'd all be able to stay at home with our children--BOTH mothers and fathers but it's not an ideal world. What works for my family may not work for another and that's okay. The only thing that matters to me is that MY children are raised with MY values and that MY children are understanding of others. Understanding doesn't seem to be a trait of yours maybe you should give people a break--after all how does it effect you?

Answer 10

OK I don't know where you live but all the moms I know have to work and I am outraged on their behalf's!
They all would prefer to be home but they insist on being able to feed, cloth and shelter their children so off to work they go. They all only have 1 or 2 kids, they all went to college and none are rich. They are all living paycheck to paycheck and none are living in opulence either. Its not like they go to work and drop the kids at daycare so they can get more coach bags or something! I am so sick of people referring to this as a choice - what choice? They all worked prior to being married, got married saved a little cash by doubling the income and then decided to have a child and made themselves poorer again.
What should they do quit and go on welfare?? Well they cant because their husbands make over 24,000 a year(gross) and that knocks you off the books for a family of 4 in my state. Maybe they should quit and breed until they get w/in the income guidelines for welfare! Thank god we have solved the daycare crisis we will just have more children living in poverty - thanks for your help!