My fiance is 33 years old. This weekend he is going out with 3 of his guys friends (i know all of them very well)...they will be meeting up with 2 girls that him and his best friend use to date when they were around 15 years old. I am not going since this is be all of his old friends talking about old times....I don't want him to feel like he needs to keep me entertained. They are only going out for a few drinks. I thought I was ok with this until one of my girlfriends asked me if I was crazy for even considering letting him go. She thinks I'm asking for trouble. I'm not sure I see a big problem with this. I can't and won't keep a leash on him. He's a grown man and will do what he wants either way.....am i wrong? advise anyone?
2007-02-27 07:27:22 · 17 answers · asked by Smiles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way....I do not know these girls. This is the first time he will be seeing her in over 10 years.
2007-02-27 07:31:57 · update #1
I think that you have a lot of power being his Fiance. You are with him now, he will be marrying you.
I am also experiencing something of this nature, although my partner and I are not engaged. He has met his ex approx. 3 times to my knowledge but it feels as though he goes behind my back to see her.
At least your Fiance is open and honest with you. If you feel intimidated or uneasy in any way just ask if you can go along. But it seems as though you can really trust your partner- as he has openly told you- a) who will be there b) what will be going on and (hopefully) c) Where they will be.
I'm sure his feelings towards a person he had a past (high school) relationship with has subsided and he is just curious to see where his old classmates are at in their lives today.
I agree with another commenter that if this were to occur regularly there could be potential for problems, but as long as you are in the loop with your partner's actions you have nothing to worry about. But perhaps if it were to occur occasionally you could jump in on the next meeting...?
Go with your gut instinct, your intuition. You know your man better than anyone else should.
Good luck!
2007-02-27 08:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by Just_a_friend 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe in Trust and allowing each other space. I also Live by the same Rule in this respect "Do Not Put Yourself In Temptations Way, And If it happens, Know when to Walk Away. I don't think I would like it very much if my Fiance had an arranged get together with an old Girlfriend, now if they just happened to run into each other in passing is another story.
2007-02-27 07:34:52 · answer #2 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting up with ex-girlfriends for drinks? Without you? Trust or no trust, that's not a good combination. Why does he even want to see her after all these years?
I would have a problem with this, as my fiance' would have a problem if it was ME going out. Some things you just don't do.
If he insists on seeing her (thought I still don't know why he needs to), then he should just say he'll reschedule when YOU can join them.
2007-02-27 07:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by Spyder Woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you trust him you should be okay with it. But what do you mean by "he'll do what he wants either way?" I dont get you. Anyway, I wouldnt let him see his ex. I'm a very jealous person in the first place. It all depends on how you feel about it. If you're ok with it then you're not gonna worry about it right?
Now in my case, if I would let my man see his ex Id be home thinking about it and when he gets home Id be wanting to ask him "what happened?", "what'd you guys do?", etc etc and I'm sure he'd be like "this was your idea, so why ur trippin?"
I dont wanna deal with all that trouble that's why I wouldnt let that happen. I would only let him see her if I go along with him to see her. Then I dont have to worry about anything.
2007-02-27 07:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if you are really suspicious, then why don't you go with him? And I know you offered a reason, but if you really care, then your reason is thin.
Second, if you don't feel like you can trust the guy, why are you marrying him?
And your friend is right. You are asking for trouble, not by allowing him to go, but by not going yourself.
And so now the question is "why are you asking for trouble?" Is it possible that you are hoping something derails the marriage before it happens? Is it possible that you both are?
2007-02-27 07:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by no answers here 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I can't decide if you should be upset. But, I as a man wouldn't do it. I'd have the friends over to the house or something. But, I wouldn't meet up with a girl I used to date without my wife/fiance/whatever around.
2007-02-27 07:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, why are you letting him communicate along with his ex gf? thats wierd.... IMO it appears like he's making an attempt to get you to have confidence him together with her being interior the image, why she would could be interior the image is previous me.... My husband and that i are the only ones that are in our marriage, we did not could meet one yet another's exes to show a topic! My husband would not even consult from any of his exes, why would he prefer to, they're called exes for a reason, i assume its okay to be friends with them, yet on your fiance to comprehend whilst shes on the city, and casually communicate together with her on the telephone?! this is slightly unusual, and not time-honored, if she replace right into a topic in the previous, shes going to be a topic returned, and its in all probability happening superb under your watch. I hate to assert it however the clues are all there, and you're in all probability in basic terms justifying his strikes, whilst they're unjustifiable. i desire which you're taking my words into attention as i'm warning you on how unnatural it is, there is no prefer for 3 significant females in a guy's existence it is going to in basic terms be right down to a million. his mom and a pair of. his spouse, if there have been a 0.33 it may well be a daughter....
2016-10-16 21:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man is going to meet up with people he hasn't seen since he was 15? What's the big deal? I am with you! But just for the record, between us ladies, once in awhile is great, but not an every weekend thing I hope!!
2007-02-27 07:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hate it and even express that I hate it, but also express the grown man and trust thing. I tend to approach it like this too: How would you feel if I . . . (Fill in the blank with bothersome thing) Hopefully that will bring some perspective.
2007-02-27 07:33:20 · answer #9 · answered by aaron4atx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't you go? It gives your fiance the opportunity to introduce you to everyone. Did he ask you to go?
I mean, if it was just going to be him and his friends going out and by chance, they met the girls I could understand, but they're making plans to meet; I'm not sure why he wouldn't ask...
2007-02-27 07:33:04 · answer #10 · answered by Slimslimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋