Family argument, please help?

Question

I live with my mum and my nan

This is a silly argument but has got out all of control.

My mum said to me " your nans mad at you that you took the last meal "
and i went in to nan room " i didnt take the last meal it was left from yesterday and i got a bit angry "
( As my nan tells me of alot )

then she went to my mother saying " i did not say anything"
and my mother said " yes you did dont make me look like a lier"
and then my nan walked of and locked her self in her room.

i have tryed talking to them both but nothing works!

what can i do ? please please please please help!

Answer 1

Try get everyone together and talk to each other. Try to stay calm, and allow everyone to say their piece. It will help "clear the air" and hopefully if you all keep communicating with each other there wont be any other misunderstandings.
Good Luck

Answer 2

You do not say how old your Nan is? Explain to your Mum that you love her and also your Nan and respect them both. However, because you make allowances for your Nans age you want your Mum to basically tell a white lie - and say she got it wrong. It will do no harm and your Nan will think she has won - maybe thats what she wants. nans can sometimes envy their daughters with the thought that they now have what Nans once had - . I hope you understand what I am getting at, because I once had a similar situation and this was the cause. You could then go on to suggest a meal where the three ofyou sit down and all make an effort to get dressed up (making an occassion of it) and have a lovely dinner and put the smile back on all your faces. Hope this advice helps.

Answer 3

It obviously bugs you and you DO feel it is worth discussing. My advice is as follows:- Get both mum and nan together and talk to them both. Choose the moment when they happen to be in the room. You could say something like:- " This business with the meal the other day was really not worth arguing over. I think you should tell me personally if you have a problem, not tell mum/nan to tell me. I really don't think it was worth being upset about it. Lets forget it this time and I am sorry it has coursed nan to lock herself into her room. Are we OK now about all that ? " See what happens and give everyone a big hug and let it ride......Good Luck.

Answer 4

OK, there are 3 different generations, all under one roof. That's not going to be easy. Your mom sounds STRESSED.
(Does she have money problems?)
Your nan seems to be a bit scared (hence locking her door).
& you're getting it from both of them cos you're young.
(Do you feel like you're being blamed for everything?)

The meal itself is no big deal but is a symptom of other deeper issues that need to be solved BUT that is not for you to do (it is for the adults to sort their lives out).

IF you have serious worries about your home situation, then you could speak to an impartial mentor (maybe someone at your school or at a local advice centre for young people?)

Yeh, you could get stroppy, you could say "I think you're being mean & childish!" & stomp off to your room... that will put the ball back in their court & may stop you feeling quite so miserable...
but the arguments are likely to continue...

so I would seek some professional support, who can act as an intermediary & talk to your mom & nan on your behalf, before it gets out of control.

Hope this helps you. God bless XX

Answer 5

Well, it sounds quite petty, as most arguments are, so tell your Mom that you know she's not lying, and not to worry about Grandma. If the truth be known, she was probably embarrassed that she said anything at all, and is truly mad because your mother said anything at all. She's old, cut her some slack, and move on like nothing ever happened. Life is too short to be sweating the small stuff! Good Luck to you!

Answer 6

Oh sweetie, your in the middle here..it sounds like there playing one off against the other..stay out of it, it will all blow over.Also it must be hard for the fact that your mom is living with her mom. A daughter mother relationship never changes no matter how old your are. Just respect your Gran listen to youe Mother and if all else fails talk to a friend..trust me Ive been there, worn the t-shirt and got the scars to prove it..
Good Luck

Answer 7

Give both of them time to understand that they r fighting over silly thing or shout out loud saying " u both r childsih and if u dont stop behaving childish I am going to leave home right now. and pack ur bag if still they behave the same and spend a night at a frnd's house they will call u back.

Answer 8

This argument is between your mum and your nan. Don't get in the middle of it. There is nothing you could do to make it better, and getting mixed up in it might make it worse.
Just tell both of them that you love them both and you wish they wouldn't fight. That's it. Don't make any more issue of it than that. Don't let either of them tell you what's wrong with the other one. Tell them you it's not your business and you don't want to hear about it.
They will have to work it out themselves.

Answer 9

I think that they're fighting for your affections, nobody wanting to be the 'baddy' who's giving out to you. It's not about the meal. It's about who should discipline you and who you might like better.
I'd try and talk it out with both of them together. You should all be very calm and try to talk it through. Tell them that you love both of them. You're so lucky to have each other, especially your nan. You could learn a lot from both these women.

Answer 10

I would just ignore what has happened and go on as if it didn't even take place. I would advise you to speak to them both just as you did before this petty argument spiralled out of control. Maybe they have both been under a bit of tension or worry that you are unaware of and that's why something so stupid has got so big.

My advice ignore the argument and go on as if it didn't even occur.

The Very Best Of Luck x x