I don't care if there dirty or clean.
2007-02-27 06:58:43 · 11 answers · asked by a_word_of_praise 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Here are two from me
Mummy mummy?
A girl came skipping home from school one day. 'Mummy,
Mummy,' she shouted, "we were counting today, and all
the other kids could only count to four, but I counted
to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," She shouted, "we were saying the
alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say
it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," she shouted, "we were in gym class
today, and when we showered, all the other girls had
flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her top
to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No, darling, it's because you're 25."
---------------------------------------------------
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her
business has gone bust And she's in dire financial
straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask
God for help.
She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost
my Business and if I Don't get some money, I'm going
to lose my house as well. Please let me win the
lotto."
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto!
I've lost my
business, My house and I'm going to lose my Car as
well."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, She prays. My God, why have You forsaken
me? I've lost my Business, My house, and my car. My
children are starving. I don't often ask you for help,
and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE
let me Win the lotto just this one time so I can get
my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the
heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God
Himself...
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket."
2007-02-27 07:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by mphermes 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
How about this "less recycled" one:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender,
"Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
Our bartender IS blonde and the bouncer is blonde.
I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The
guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs
225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your
right is 6' 5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler.
Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister.
You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna
have to explain it five times."
2007-02-27 15:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by sprinting_turtle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a lot but I will give u 2.
There once was a dumb blond who wanted to sell her car. it had 250,000 miles on it and no one will buy it so she went to her friend and asked can you help me sell my car? and she said sure, but it might be illegal. the blond said I don't care just help me sell it. So the other girl spined the thing around to 50,000 miles. A month later the friend asked did you sell your car and the blond said no it only has 50,000 miles on it why would I
I dumb blond and 2 brunettes. Stranded on a island. the first brunette went to find food. when she came back with a rabbit.the others were like whoa how you find that and the brunette said I followed the tracks and found this. The next day the other bruneete went and came back with deer. The others were like whoa how did u find that. She said I followed the tracks and found this. The next day the dumb blond went to find food. She came back with scratches and briuses. The others were like How u get that . She said I followed the tracks and a train hit me.
2007-02-27 15:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie W 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is a blonde she just got a computer and her neighbor is watering his plants.
5 minutes went by and the blonde runs outside opens her mailbox closes is and goes back in.
10 minutes later the same thing happens finally the neighbor runs up and ask her "lady why are you running opening your mailbox then running back in side"
the blonde then answers "because my computer keeps telling my i got mail, if it was a person it would have to be the stupidist one alive"
2007-02-27 15:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by thankgodhe'smine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
2007-02-27 15:21:16 · answer #5 · answered by m.j h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
once there was a blonde who went to a club. she got angry and left because the DJ made dumd blonde jokes. as she was driving home she saw a blonde in a corn field in a row boat trying to make it move. she jumped out of the car and screamed at the other blonde,"it's blonds like you that give us a bad name! and if i knew how to swim i would go out there and teach you a lesson!
2007-02-27 15:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by lyoko5311 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
a blond woman is driving her car and speeding down the highway...
a blond cop pulls her over and asks for her driver's licence..
the blond driver says, "im not sure what that is.. will you tell me what it looks like so i know what to look for?"
the blond cop says, "its a small rectangle with your picture on it"
the blond driver says, "oh okay.. let me look" she finds a small rectanglar mirror, looks at it and says, "yup that's me" and hands it to the blond cop
the blond cop looks at it, hands it back to the blond driver and says "oh im sorry, i didnt realize you are a cop. have a good day"
2007-02-27 15:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by Blenderhead 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
What is the first thing that a blond does in the morning?
2007-02-27 15:11:41 · answer #8 · answered by mehtuus 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
what's the difference between a blond and a brick
2007-02-27 15:05:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q--What do you call an upside-down blonde?
A--A brunette with bad breath.
Q--Why was the blonde fired from the M & M factory?
A--She kept tossing out the "W"s.
Q--What goes "vroom, eeek, vroom, eeek"?
A--a blonde driving through a flashing red light.
And one of my personal faves....
Q--Why was the blondes belly button black and blue?
A--Cause blonde men are stupid too!
2007-02-27 15:22:54 · answer #10 · answered by janember819 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋