Mother in law wants to take our 3 year old right after baby's born for 3 weeks...We're not going to let her go but told mother in law we'd think about it to avoid argueing.I've got 16weeks to go and was wondering when I should bring it up and tell her my decision.I don't want to wait until baby's here to tell her..........When should I tell her?
2007-02-27 06:51:24 · 8 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You're right to not go along with that, it's a really bad idea the first few weeks are crucial for sibling bonding.
Just tell her, and explain your reasons why, do it as soon as possible. She may hate you for it but, hey, did she ever really like you?
2007-02-27 06:55:55 · answer #1 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Soonest begun, soonest done. And you're taking a chance that you won't deliver early if you wait to talk to your mother in law. The sooner you get the discussion done, the less stress you have as your due date approaches.
She likely means well, to give you some space for extra sleep and whatnot in those first few weeks. But the time for your 3 year old to bond with the baby is very precious, and how you handle the first few weeks can do a lot to prevent sibling rivalries and toddler jealousy.
2007-02-27 15:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, have your husband there when you tell her...ease the pressure off you a bit.
Tell her as soon as possible so that she doesn't start talking to your 3 yo about spending time at grandma's. Your 3 yo will get mad at you (because the child won't understand that 3 weeks at Grandma's means 3 weeks w/o mom and dad, and that's tough for a kid).
Let your MIL know that while you appreciate her offer, you think it is important that the older child get a chance to bond with the new baby, as well as to realize that this new baby is a part of the family and that you will all be together "forever", and Older needs to see that you (and hubby) aren't going to let Baby hog all of your time. Older will still get (and needs to know/see) all the attention needed.
2007-02-27 15:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her now that you won't give her your 3 year old because the 3 year old has to get to know the new baby, learn how to act when the new baby is around, and learn to realize that the new baby will be be a permanent part of his family. The sooner the 3 year old learns these things, the easier it will be for him to accept them.
2007-02-27 14:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your child tell her now to avoid stress when you have a newborn to take care of. Maybe you can reach a compromise by letting her spend the night or two but not for 3 weeks. Tell her you appreciate her offer but your child will miss you too much and that you want her to get used to the baby and feel included.
2007-02-27 14:57:54 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean she wants to take your 3 year old? Like to live with her during those 3 weeks? If you dont want to do that, then say it to her when she brings it up.
2007-02-27 14:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just bring it up in a casual conversation as if you've been thinking about it and don't be afraid to use your hubbys name in it to, so it saves you any scorning that you may/maynot get. Just say, hey we have been thinking about it and I think 3wks is a little to early to seperate them but we will play it by ear and if we change our minds, we know your there for us. Good luck with your delivery!
2007-02-27 15:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by HushYourFuss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you want the three year old to get to know the baby right away.
2007-02-27 14:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by Hott Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋