My kids (especially my daughter) won't nap!?

Question

In the last week, my kids STOPPED napping. And it gets worse. My daughter is crying about everything ~ not crying but whining attention kind of crying ~ she is 21mo old. My son is 3yrs old. They don't get along and I have to seperate them most of the time, and she REFUSES to nap ~ or go to bed! My husband thought by letting her tire herself out it would eventually work, but it DOESN'T ~ of course he stays up all night and sleeps all day and I'm stuck alone with them non-stop. I can't get ANYTHING done ~ and I already hear them in there playing instead of napping. They were so good up until a week ago! Please help!
I've tried quiet time, I've tried scheduling (keeping SAME schedule I've had for months) or w/e ~ I don't get it!!!
I'm about ready to put her back into her crib instead of the toddler bed until this blows over!

ok some more info
- my husband cares about how the house looks because i get chewed for it
- she was trying to climb out of the crib and i was afraid she'd break her neck that's why she was put in a toddler bed
- no there's no one who will help because my family says they are "too busy" to help and it's just me doing it all
- my car isnt working and i cant go anywhere and the nearest park is about 5-10mi away
- they are agressive but i cant figure out the source unless you count any toy one has is the one the other wants as a reason
- its non stop and im frustrated and everyone who's done this understands ~ if you have nothing helpful to say and can only critisize dont bother please

~ and for the person who said don't let your kids run you? do you actually have any kids? because its not them running you . . its them being little and not getting that they cant have their way
~ooo im going to wait to read these until im not so frustrated

~ oh and a huge problem is that they are in the same room because i only have a 2 bedroom apartment and there's no way to put them in seperate bedrooms ~ my bedroom has a bed and is used for storage and there's no where else

Answer 1

I think you should get her crib back out. She must not be ready for toddler bed yet. I recommend keeping them in their cribs as long as possible for that reason.

Try laying down with them, everytime they make a noise, say, "shhh". That's how i got my daughter to take a nap when she was that age. Eventually she'll learn that she needs to be quiet to go to sleep.

OMG, do NOT give them baby bottles with chocolate milk in them. I can't believe she put that! That is not good for them. My step mom did that to my littlest sister and she depended on it for two years to take a nap and got really fat.

Answer 2

Wow, I so understand where you are coming from. My son was hell on wheels when he would not take a nap. What is probably happening is that one is not tired and keep the other up. You can try putting one in another room during nap time only.

Also sometimes children have reactions to the type foods they are eating, I mean you can be giving them something real healthy for lunch and boom suddenly there is something in it making them hyper or making their tummies girgle. You never know.

One thing that I found helped was I started taking a nap with my son when he got to a point where he was refusing to. I know it did not get the house done or give me quiet time but at least I got some rest.

Your three year old is not to old for time outs. If your toddler is climbing out the the bed you probably do want to keep her out of the crib. That is how my sisters sun broke his leg. He got his foot caught in the railing.

If you beleive in spankings you could try a little swat on the behind and then lay them back on the bed. If not, the best route would be to either lay with them till they fall asleep or seperate them.

I wish I could be more help. I know just how frustrated you are. Raising little ones is not easy. I do promise you this will pass and things will get better. Pretty soon the three year old will be off the school and it will be just you and the little one during the day and then that one will be off to school as well.

You are doing a good job, just keep putting them back in bed and eventually they will get the message. Oh forgot the most important thing. When you are putting them in the bed give hugs and kisses, but after that, just keep putting them in the bed no eye contact and do not talk to them. Try not to even make a face. I know it will be hard but you can do it I know you can.

Good luck, I have you in my prayers

Answer 3

Breathe mom! I KNOW how frustrating it can be and you will NEVER believe me when I say it is just a phase because I know at this moment you are feeling like it's an eternity. This has been my experience. Next time you are at Walmart grab some inexpensive crafts. Foam board, washable paints, construction paper etc. Have Craft time everyday at the same time and let THEM choose what they are going to do. I have found that if you don't "make" them sit and do a craft just offer the idea and watch what happens they tend to take to it themselves. Kids spend all day doing what they are told. Wear this, eat that, sit here etc. They have no voice in anything they do and my experience was give them a LITTLE control over what they do and they will react more positively to the things YOU NEED them to do. NOW, to all the crazy people who think I mean let your children rule the roost THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING! My kids do better when they feel like they are human and their opinion or wants are heard. I have done this with all three kids and I am happy to report that my fourteen year old SON and I have a great relationship and I don't recall him EVER telling me he felt like we never listened to him and I believe that it was because growing up he was allowed a say so in some things. If you WANT them to nap you just have to keep putting them in their beds over and over and over and over until they realize it is what it is. Try not to talk to them while doing this though cause ultimately it's the attention they are wanting and when you interact with them you are giving them exactly what they want. EVENTUALLY they will give up and just stay there. Yes, your patience will be tried and it might take a couple hours a day for a while but it will happen! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

Some kids just don't want or need a nap. My oldest child when she was little she never would take a nap. I would try everything, rocking, rubbing her back, even letting her hollar for a little while, nothing worked. She just didn't want to, but she would sleep all night with no problem. Now my younger daughter is absolutley different. She is 3 and still takes naps at 1:00 everyday. Kids are all going to be different. Just have a little patience with them, Trust me, I know that is one of the hardest things to do, but instead of naps just do the quiet time where they are both in their own rooms. It also may be possible she needs to be back in her crib for a little longer. Never hurts to try. Good Luck!

Answer 5

well my daughter stopped napping at that age.
frustrating I know. However we did quiet time for 1 hour in
her room. Now since they don't get along and they share a room this is more tricky. maybe put older one in big bed for quiet time with some stuffies and a some books, quit things.
younger one in the other room in her toddler bed same thing, stuffies, books and quiet things. No biggie if they don;t fall asleep.
Just quiet time, to relax. Thats what I did with my daughter and no she did not always stay in bed. She was a crib jumper also, so I put up a get to her room and let her cry it out so to speak. I would reassure her but did not change quiet time.
good luck
As for your man unless he is working night shift kick his a** for not helping. I am sorry but he has some responsibilities to those
little ones. I would have a talk with him and lay it on the line.
just my opinion.
Morgaine

Answer 6

Okay, try to take a deep breath and relax. It'll be okay. Kids go through stages, my youngest has gone through the nap/no-nap game so many times I just ignore it now.

First, even though you have a 2-bedroom apartment, find SOMEWHERE else to put your son. My oldest has been put in the living room (a perk here is that he got to watch cartoons... he fell asleep with them on, and I DON'T CARE), he's been in the kitchen a few times, in the hallway, in our bedroom (even if my husband or I were asleep). Once, he even made a bed in the bathtub. Anywhere he wasn't with his little brother, because they feed off each other's energy and desire to not mind.

You may want to consider making sure that none of their toys are accessible during naptime. We put a little hook lock high up on their closet, and they can't get to toys at naptime.

I would guess she'd probably be okay in the crib, only if it wasn't effective in keeping her penned in, it might not be worth the hassle.

My kids like to know what they're going to do after naptime. I don't (usually) bribe them, but I will let them know if we're going to do somethign fun after nap (and it's always put like that... it's not going to happen IF they take a nap, it's going to happen AFTER they take a nap... don't leave room for them to choose to reject the bribe). Then stick to what you said. If they didn't take a nap, but want whatever you said would come after nap, say "No, you didn't take a nap today. We'll try again tomorrow."

More important than the nap issue, to my mind, is that you seem genuinely frazzled and kind of abandoned. You must find some way to get help, from your husband or family or friends. You might want to look into a Mothers Day Out program, or a half-day preschool for your son. MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) is great, too, since it offers a safe, fun environment for kids and an opportunity for you as a mom to be with other moms in your situation, it allows you to have some wonderful mentors, and the meetings often have to do with enriching who YOU are, as a mom, but also as a person. If you want, visit http://www.mops.org to find a MOPS group in your area.

Wake your husband up. Go out, and don't ask his permission or opinion. Just get your purse and keys and say "Love ya, honey. I need to get out for a while. I'll be back later." and BOOK IT out the door. You can't continue on the path you're going down. Force him to do his part, and it's possible he'll see what you're doing every day and understand your need for a change of scenery/company. If that doesn't happen, at least you got a few hours on your own.

I feel for you, and I really hope you can get de-stressed soon. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Ok hang in there. My daughter (almost 2) decided she was not going to nap and I was not having that. I stuck to my guns and continued to put her down for her nap at the same time after a couple of weeks of hell she finally started to nap again. I think she was testing me, but I would not give it because she still needs her sleep and I still need the break, I also have a 4 month old so any down time is needed. If there safe in the room, just let them be. I hope they start napping again, good luck

Answer 8

Naptime at your house may have come to and end. I am one of three and none of us napped as soon as we could walk and my brothers kids didnt nap either. My guess is your older child has out grown them and the little one is staying awake because he is up but still needs her naps from the sounds of it. Are they in the same room? End that now if you can or put her down w/out him since he might just naturally not need naps anymore. You can try changing the schedule - I would start keeping him up later and you might be able to bring back his nap for a little but most 4/5 year olds dont nap at all so dont rely on that!

Answer 9

Your 3 yo might have outgrown naps (I wasn't sure if you're putting him down for a nap too.) As for your daughter, I assume she's going down for one nap a day? If it's possible, try to get her into a routine- a pre-nap routine... maybe lunch, read a book, tell her it's nap time, and hope for the best. I know it's tough- I've got three young kids myself so I feel your pain. It's hard to try to please everyone (get the kids happy, keep the house, keep the husband happy ESPECIALLY when he doesn't get what you're going through.) Routines generally are a big help. At night, again try routines if you're not. My two youngest share a room (they are ages 2 and 4) and they usually play for a while before they go to sleep. Try to be consistant if they get up at night- telling them only it's time for bed, and putting them back to bed. I hope things get easier for you.

Answer 10

Have your kids eat lunch, then go down for the nap. Try to make their rooms dark. Lock their toys in a closet if you have to. If they get out of bed, put them in the corner or swat their butts. Then, pick them up and put them back in bed. Tell them its naptime and they will not be allowed to play until after they sleep. You seem to be ignoring the problem rather than actively trying to fix it. Who cares if your house is a mess for a few days while you try to curb this behavior. Your children, and their behavior, should be the most important things in your life. Maybe have them lay down a little later than you normally put them down. They probably aren't tired yet. Also, don't have them sleep in the same room.

Also, you do not need to get her crib back out. She is old enough to sleep in a big-girl bed. Just train her. Don't expect her to magically know that she has to stay in it. Be the parent. Stop letting your kids walk all over you.