How valid of an excuse do you think this is?

Question

If your boyfriend or girlfriend did some messing around with another person (say it was a first time offense) at a club or bar or something, and you find out about it, and their excuse was "I don't remember that at all!" (because they were flat out drunk), how valid of an excuse would you consider that?
Would you consider it valid if instead of cheating they:
- Got really angry? violent?
- Got insanely jealous?

I left messed around open to see if I would get different responses.

Also, some people seem confused by the follow up questions.

Do you think drinking would be a valid excuse for your partner becoming angry or violent? Would it be valid if your partner became insanely jealous?

Answer 1

That's not a valid excuse at all.

Answer 2

If that person got really "angry" or "violent" or "insanely jealous", I would definately consider the validity of their actions. Why would they have to get defensive if it was a "mistake"? Getting drunk and "messing" around is no excuse...how many other times will it happen if they go out and get drunk...they should realize that people learn from "mistakes" and if they want to be with you, change. If I sound jaded, it's because the same thing happened to me...I'm working on trusting that person again, but it's not easy...bottom line is that getting drunk is never an excuse.

Answer 3

Depends how well you know them how long you have been together etc. On the surface it seems like a fairly childish excuse, but could be true. But messing around while in a relationship is not a good sign, no matter how drunk you are.
Good luck
Jx

Answer 4

It really isn’t a valid excuse, but I would let them get away with it the first time. Now if I caught them again like making out with someone or something else while drunk that would be it. They should have learned their lesson the first time.

Answer 5

None of the above, I'd break it off with her and that would be the last time she'd ever contact me or talked to me. Not remembering does not mean you get a free ride. Nothing justifies cheating and that includes getting drunk.

Answer 6

Drinking suppresses our inhabitions...it doesn't make us do things we wouldn't do, or change who we are. So, no that isn't a valid excuse. And it is an interesting question...would "I don't remember" be a valid excuse for hitting you in anger after drinking too much? I don't think so.

Answer 7

If they get angry or defensive, at any level, I would question their honesty immediately.

If they burst out laughing and want to learn more about what they did, then it's an actual harmless really drunk mistake, and that's forgiveable.

You have to decide based on their response what you're going to believe.

Answer 8

NO excuse and NO validations.
Alcohol is a truth serum. If he messed around with someone else, well...there's the "truth" you were looking for.
BUT...Define "messed around"
Messing around does not include dirty dancing. Messing around should only be the same rules as cheating. Kissing and worse. Close talking, flirting, close dancing, and even dirty dancing should be acceptable.

Answer 9

Drinking is no excuse, but I've done it myself, oops.
To be honest, I wasn't really into the guy I was with. No matter how drunk you are, you still know if you're in love or not.

Answer 10

I have been very drunk back in my youth and still remember what was going on that is and excuse!! NO ONE should cheat on someone they Love!! This is no excuse.