i finished with my fiancee as he became very controlling and dictating to me. he now says that if i do not give back the engagement ring its taboo, and we will both have real bad luck. hes nigerian and says its his tradition. i think its cr*p. what do u think?
2007-02-27 05:43:26 · 41 answers · asked by fate 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
just give it back to him, its not worth the hastle.
2007-02-27 05:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by blue1 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I dont know where u r from but I live in Kenya now and I think some Africans are similar but West Africa is the worst. I thin he only wants to get the ring back so he wont have to buy another one. A lot of Kenyans are cheap/stingy like that and try and get whatever they can out of you so if I were you, even if you dont like the ring, keep it. Also move away from where he is and have nothing to do with him. I think Nigerian men, in general, dont really like taking orders from women and think that they should be the ones in control and shouldnt have to do anything - I think thats just how it is there.
2007-02-27 06:01:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This answer is all over the place. The ring is a gift to show a symbol of love. If there is no longer any love, why are you keeping the symbol? You aren't letting greed influence you , are you? You broke the agreement. Return the ring. If you do not want him to rule over you or to control you, return to him the symbol that represents the promise. Be fair and move on. If you just want to hurt him, you already have by throwingthe wedding back in his face. Let go and let him begin the healing process.
2007-02-27 05:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by the Goddess Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
technically the engagement ring is a gift signifying the bond between you and honour really says that you should return it, as you have no wish to be engaged now. However, I thnk your ex-fiancee is more after the cash-back value of the ring rather than the significance of it.
Being honest, why would you want to keep it? You're not engaged any more - give it back with dignity.
2007-02-27 06:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he broke it off - you keep the ring.
If you break it off - give it back.
The ring is a symbol of the promise of marriage - not a gift. If you break the promise, you should not keep the ring that was given as a symbol of that promise.
I also saw an episode of Judge Judy years ago and that is basically how she ruled.
Additionally, I have been engaged twice before. The first one I broke it off and gave the ring back. The second one broke it off with me, so I kept it and sold it to a jeweler. (BUT - I gave him a diamond that I got from my mother that he exchanged for a bigger diamond when he bought the ring)
So, give the ring back and be glad that you are not with this controlling man. Break all ties and keep no reminders.
2007-02-27 05:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it back.
First from what you have said it sounds like you ended the relationship. Therefore you broke the contract of impending marriage and he should get his ring back
But also, why do you want it, just to p'iss him off? Its not worth it and there is alot of bad karma with the ring as it is, since its from a failed relationship. Why would you want that karma?
I dont think you have the "right" to keep it though, you should give it back.
2007-02-27 06:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, u need to give it back, whether it is his tradition or not. why wud u want a reminder of a bad relationship on ur finger or in a drawer? dont keep it, get rid. u broke it off so just give it back and then go out on the pull with ur mates. much better than having a ring on from someone u dont wanna b with nemore.
2007-02-27 06:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is totally lying to you and still trying to control you. What a cheap, mean b*st*rd. This kind of thing is exactly why you dumped him.
I really like a lot of the answers here that suggest you sell the ring and go out with your girlfriends, and you're certainly entitled to do that if you like. But if I were you I wouldn't want to have any memory of this jerk and his ring.
Next time you see him, toss it back at him, aim slightly over his shoulder so it ends up behind him, and send the creep scuffling in the gutter for it while you walk away like a princess.
2007-02-27 05:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by Saint Bee 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give it back, is NOT yours is his since you terminated the relationship and the gift was in lieu of marriage.
Etiquette dictates that a lady must return the ring may the wedding never occur.
Are there ladies and/or manner observance in Nigeria?
If you are a greedy, rude and have no class, by all means keep it.
If you have a bit of class, return it like any lady should.
2007-02-27 06:03:35 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are suppose to give the ring back if you don't get married! He can take you to court to get it. So that is where your bad luck will start. Give back the ring, it's not worth anything to you now anyway.
2007-02-27 05:47:56 · answer #10 · answered by sassssy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
after all the cr*p he has given you, you deserve to get something nice out of the relationship.
it sounds like a load of bullsh*te but if it is the only way to get rid of him give him back the ring and do you honestly want to be reminded of him every time you look at this ring.
2007-02-27 05:54:18 · answer #11 · answered by Lou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋