Jokes again?

Question

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100 Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back

Answer 1

GOOD JOKE!VERY FUNNY. :)

Answer 2

hahahah
how about this?-
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the f inal house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Screw him - - - give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea"

Answer 3

Funny

Answer 4

Dollas Run Tings








After a hard day at work Puncie arrived home and walked into her bedroom to find her husband in bed with another woman. The woman was asleep but Puncie's husband was awake and shaking with fear of what Puncie would do.

Puncie spun around and headed for the kitchen to grab a knife. Her husband jumped out of bed to follow her. He grabbed her and said, "Puncie, me lub, me sarry". Puncie replied, "yu no sarry yet. Wait til mi done wid har. Den yu will sarry!"
Puncie's husband said, "lawd Puncie man, no gwan so. Beg yu please no hurt har. Yu see dat nice Maxima wey we drive? A she buy it gi mi. Yu si yu weddin ban an diaman ring pan yu finga? A fi har money me tek buy it gi yu. An a wey yu tink me get de money fi pay di magage dis month?"

Puncie stopped for a few seconds to think then replied, "Den cova har up no? We no want har fi ketch cold!!"

Answer 5

The cop joke wasn't very funny, but I liked the mailman one.

Answer 6

lt's funny. Like it.