I have a boyfriend who drinks everyday. At least a six pack or so. If there is liquor in the house he'll drink it till it's gone. We have a son together and I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to be with someone who is dependent on alcohol, ya know? He told me when we first started dating 2 years ago that he drinks a lot, I understood that. 2 years ago, though, we didn't have our son! I would say something to him, and I've tried to say something to him, but it makes him mad, like I'm giving him an ultimative, he says. It's not that at all. The father figure at had in my life at one time died almost 2 years ago from alcoholism and I don't want to see anyone else that I love go through that again. What should I do? Does anyone know anything I could say to him that won't sound like an ultimative?
2007-02-27 04:17:43 · 9 answers · asked by a_bai04 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And i do put my son before anyone else. I, my self, am not in any danger except maybe getting my heart broken, but say if he was abusive or something, which he's not, I would have left a long time ago, I just don't want to go through this again, but I want my son to know his father.
2007-02-27 04:30:00 · update #1
PEOPLE!!!! I know he can't quit drinking at the drop of a hat damn it! I just want him to SLOW DOWN A BIT!!!!
2007-02-27 04:46:28 · update #2
Well, you accepted it two years ago, and now that you have a son...you expect him to change? I call.."Foul".
Yes, a 6 pack a day can constitute an alcoholics, even one beer a day can, if they think they "need" it.
But you knew what you were going into when you got with him, and when you got pregnant. Thats something you both should have thought about beforehand.
The only thing you can do, is get rid of the alcohol. If he drinks whats there, then don't have any available.
2007-02-27 04:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a parent is a huge responsibility. I think the pressure of parenthood has been adding some fuel to your expectations of your boyfriend. I would say to relax a bit and concentrate on your job at hand. You are right to be concerned about how his drinking affects his ability to be a great dad. I used to drink heavily and I stopped when the kids came along, but not instantly. When things start getting real rough then start forming a solid, proffessionally guided plan to intervene.
2007-02-27 04:49:43 · answer #2 · answered by diamondbullet66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mention his son. Maybe he can limit his habit of drinking alcohol to at least once a week. An alcoholoic cannot just stop drinking with one snap. He has to limit it slowly and slowly. He has to learn how to reduce it by the month or week. And you have to give him your full support. I encourage you to talk to him about this process and your lovely son. I mean, your son can't have a father who's an alcoholic. It's fine to drink occasionally, but not everyday of his life. Not only is he affecting your relationship with you and your son, but he's destroying himself. Alcohol kills people everyday. Or atleast there's a alcohol poisoning emergency going on. Mention this factors, girl. I hope this helps. Good Luck!
2007-02-27 04:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by Drivliam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is one thing you can do is pray . I hsaave a brother is drinks all the time as well and there is nothing i can say or do to stop him they have to want it .. Honey really prayer works but not in our time but in Gods time .. You may have to leave him sorry but put your trust in God and see the works of his power and hold on..
2007-02-27 05:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by JINE GIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him stop drinking. That's out of your control. It sounds like you are co-dependent and have gone from one alcoholic situation to another. Get yourself involved with Alanon and go to their meetings. It will help.
2007-02-27 04:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well...instead of trying to change your husband then you will need to focus on you and your son a little more. meaning...if his drinking bothers you THAT much then you will need to leave. it really is that simple. you need to show him through your actions that you are sick and tired of it. he is an adult and is capable of being responsible for his actions (even if it ends in death). i'm not trying to be mean here...but i get the notion that you have tried talking to him (and talking and talking and talking) and that is not getting anywhere. if you want to set the good example for your son then you wil need to move out and get a place of your own. if you don't have a job...get one. you need to have your own source of income anyway.
2007-02-27 05:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are asking isn't bad....you are right.
You yourself should seek out AA for dependents of Alcoholics....
It will give you the strength you need to move forward for you life and your child's....
Stay strong.
Best wishes
2007-02-27 04:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he is an alcoholic, and you dont understand that he cant just "stop"... he needs rehab...if he is not willing to stop, you need to figure out if you want to continue on with him, because he will continue drinking..
2007-02-27 04:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋