Does Mum really know best?

Question

My youngest daughter believes she is in love with my nephew,I feel that I should keep out of this,however i've always been open with my girls,and when my eldest developed a crush on the same cousin (they were the same age) she came to me to ask what she should do,as I suspected she grew out of it.My youngest is very quiet she won't speak out about this and this "crush" has developed for the last 8 years,she's at an age now where she should be socialising more and i'm worried that her actions towards my nephew are less than innocent,not that I believe he would ever take advantage of her he's a perfect gentleman.He saved my eldest from a gang attack,and defended,my youngest in a similar way,which is where I believe both crushes came from.And I believe I need to talk with her about it especially as it's keeping her from finding someone else,however I don't know how to approach the subject (if I should) or what advice to give her?

Some little details to add.
My youngest is now 16
My Nephew is 20

Answer 1

Since your nephew has saved both your girls from attacks. The younger one is putting him above every one else. Their is no easy way to approach her about this. Just ask her why she is not more active with her friends. Then gently lead up to her crush on your nephew. She may want your advices, but is scared to ask you about this kind of relationship. Listen to her and do not interrupt her until she is finished. Then ask her question that bothered you during her conversation. Above all do not judge her or demand her stay away from him. Also have a long talk with your nephew about this and see if can help with this situation.

Answer 2

Are these two related by blood ties? If they are, I think its illegal. If not, it sounds like you have got a lot of issues to deal with. Like getting your children out of a gang infested area. Your daughters may be attracted to him because he is nice, and they are surounded by people who aren't. Maybe if they had better choices or options to chose from there would be different outcomes.

If you want to keep them apart, make so that she is not available to this nephew. For instance, keep her busy doing different things. Get her involved in after school activities, like swimming, tennis, basketball, baseball, or drama. Expose her to other facets and people. Prepare her for college, looking towards the future.

Answer 3

You are right. She has this crush because of what has been happening. He is her knight in shining armour. And you know that in some way, as women, we wish for that (no matter how unrealistic it may seem). Dont force the conversation on her, shell feel that you want to whine at her. talk to her about it when she wants to. Im sure that with time shell get over that crush.

Answer 4

I wouldn't interfere. Maybe you should talk to your nephew about it and make sure he won't do anything if your daughter hits on him, but the girl will definitely grow out of it when she meets someone else she falls in love with.

Answer 5

Your daughter.....your nephew - this makes them first cousins.

Yes, Mum really does know best - this is called inbreeding and not only is it illegal outside the state(s) of Kentucky (or) West Virginia....but its just wrong.

Tell her *Honey, you two are first cousins and its not appropriate that you have any type of relationship other than a platonic one* (platonic=a relationship marked by the ABSENCE of romance or sex)

Answer 6

let them get on with their lives a bit they are old enough 2 make their own decisions at that age and by the sound of it, the nephew wouldn't do anything stupid

Answer 7

Basically - It is wrong for someone to have a crush on their cousin.

Sit her down and explain to her that it is wrong and maybe she will come to her senses.

Answer 8

Mum does know best !! but you should read a romance novel , i have read several with that story line let me tell u I really enjoyed it too