What is the best way to pacify an angry person?

Question

I get angry out of displeasure. I tried my very to keep my senses normal when I get angry. But I get more irritated when someone tells me "not to be angry" rather than making me release my anger, or ask me the reasons for being angry. The Bible does not forbid any one to be angry for as long the person avoid sinning. I am not asking how to keep cool and not be angry, but ways how to pacify an angry person.

Answer 1

“Effectively Dealing With Anger !”

Anger is an inaccurate assessment of reality. Why? Because, by definition, it is based on exaggeration or superimposition of negative qualities. However, when we are angry, we do not “feel” we are exaggerating or superimposing anything. We feel that we are right!
In fact, the angry mind seems very clear: “I’m Right, and Your Wrong
and you are the one needing to change !!”
“Under the Influence of Anger, we select a few negative qualities and form a limited view that we are then reluctant to change. Psychologists speak of a refractory period that accompanies an emotion. During this time, we are closed to any advice or “reasonable” interpretation that contradicts our view. We can neither think clearly about a person or a situation nor accept the other interpretation of it that well-meaning people offer! When the emotion subsides and then we are able to look at the person or the event more clearly, we readily see that anger’s interpretation was inaccurate!! Anger is also inaccurate in its assessment of reality in that it does not perceive a situation in a balanced way, but views it through the distorted picture of “I”, “Me”, “My”, “Mine”. Although we think that the way a situation appears to us is how it really exists out there objectively, when we are angry, we are, in fact, viewing it through our Self-Centeredness. Due to this self-centered view, anything that happens in relation to me {ourselves) seems incredibly important.
Ask yourself, are you really happy, when you are angry? The answer is undoubtedly, NO. We may feel a surge of physical energy due to physiological reasons, but emotionally, we feel miserable.
Therefore, from our own experiences, we can see that anger does not promote happiness. In addition, we do not communicate well when we are angry. We speak loudly when we’re angry, as if the other person were hard of hearing or we often repeat what we say, as if the person had a bad memory, but this is not communication. Good communication is expressing ourselves in a calm, reasonable, controlled way in which the other person understands. If we raise our voices to another, they usually just simply tune us out. Under the influence of anger, we do not express ourselves as calmly, nor think clearly. Under anger’s sway, we also say and do things that we later regret. Years of trust built with great effort is quickly damaged by just a few moments of uncontrolled anger. In a bout of anger, we treat the people we love most in a way that we would never treat a stranger, saying horribly cruel things, or even possibly striking those whom we love. This harms not only our loved ones, but also ourselves, as we sit aghast as the family we cherish disintegrates.
This, in turn, breeds guilt and self-hatred, which immobilizes us and further harms our relationships and ourselves. If we could just tame our anger, such painful consequences would be avoided. And maintaining anger within us fosters resentment, and bitterness.
Through the development of Patience, comes Loving-kindness,
Compassion and Wisdom. Transforming our attitudes, and our minds through Patience, Tolerance and Compassion we are able to remain internally undisturbed in the face of harm and externally act for the benefit of others. But when we choose to express our anger, our words and deeds hurt others. And expressing our anger does not rid ourselves of the anger. On the contrary, each time we express this hostility, even if it is by beating a pillow or screaming in an empty field, we strengthen the habit of feeling & acting out its unhealthy energy. What happens if one day there is no pillow around to beat, or if there is no empty field in which to scream in, and we are only surrounded by human beings? Also, suppressing anger will damage us mentally or physically, as well. Expressing anger is one extreme and suppressing anger is another extreme. In both cases, the habit of anger remains in one form or another. “Transforming our attitudes and our way of thinking through the cultivation of Patience, Compassion, and tolerance is the answer! ‘It is the ability to remain internally calm and undisturbed in the face of harm, or difficulties’.” Patience does not involve pasting a plastic smile on your face while hatred simmers inside. It involves dissolving the anger-energy inside so that it is no longer there. Then, with a clear mind, we can evaluate various alternatives (while remaining calm and undisturbed) and decide what to say or do to remedy a situation.
Mental Calmness gives us the space to evaluate situations clearly and thus to make wise decisions. And this is the foremost advantage of Patience.
Patience allow us to live free from guilt, pain, grudges, resentment, and the wish for revenge. Then we are able to communicate effectively with others, and our relationships are peaceful, and more harmonious. Instead of being ripped apart by anger, they are deepened by attentive listening, and kind considerate speech.
Training in Patience: The meditation of observing our anger involves quietly paying close attention to the storyline behind anger. We note the blood rushing to our head, our heart pounding, the emotional pain of hurt feelings, disappointment, & unfulfilled expectations. Simply observing these, “but Not reacting to them by clinging to them or pushing them away, we experience them as they are in the present. In doing so, we watch them arise And Cease in their own accord.” Mindfulness is very effective in letting go of Negative emotions. “Techniques in which we re-frame the situation constitute most of this volume, and they fall in the category of Analytical meditation, in which we investigate our thoughts, feeling, and perceptions to discern if they are accurate and beneficial. Changing the way we describe and interpret situations subdue anger because we stop exaggerating and projecting negativities onto people, situations, and objects. In this way, the external event, its meaning, & our position in it appear to us differently, and our anger evaporates.” Meditation on love and compassion (which many do as form of walking meditation) strengthens these positive emotions in our minds, and hearts, which is very beneficial because these emotions act not only as antidotes to anger, but also as measures preventing it from arising. So for some, mindfully observing their Thoughts and emotions allows anger & hatred to subdue naturally, while for others, a more Analytical approach is necessary. Through investigation, we need to see clearly that anger is a distorted state of mind that misapprehends its object {either the person or the situation). For some, it is good to often reflect on the disadvantages of anger in order to make them determined to step back and not blindly indulge in anger. Remember, subduing anger, to cultivate Patience and tolerance properly is a slow and steady process. Don’t expect it to disappear overnight. Reacting in anger is a deeply ingrained habit, & like all habits, it takes time to unlearn. Developing Patience, which the major antidote to anger requires a great deal of determination, effort, and patience.
Another way to overcome anger and self-centeredness is to regard our enemy as a friend, who benefits us. How can we see an enemy as a friend? First, by harming us an enemy gives us the opportunity to manifest Patience and tolerance. Think about this, who really gives us the best opportunity to demonstrate patience, compassion, and tolerance? Not our friends, because they are nice to us. It is our enemies. Through having an optimistic attitude, we can clearly see that it is our enemies which help us that infinitely beneficial, wholesome quality of Patience. It is those who harm and offend us that actually give us excellent opportunities to cultivate Patience.
*This Patience is the ability to remain internally calm, and undisturbed in the face of harm or difficulties. Through the situations in life which we are faced with, patience and wisdom are cultivated and the anger-energy within us is dissolved, resulting in a stable peace of mind, and happiness.*

Answer 2

Take a big breath and have some green tea. Count to ten, or start doing math problems in your head. Sometimes that helps me because it keeps my mind on something else for a while. Then, when I go back to the issue, I am more rational. The anger doesn't go away, but sometimes these things pacify it.

Answer 3

"A soft answer turns away wrath" (From Proverbs 15).
I have found one of the best ways of calming down an angry person, is not showing him he is wrong to be angry, but rather reflecting what he is saying, showing empathy. Say he is angry with you. Say: "That really makes you angry when I...." or "I guess I'd be pretty mad if someone did that to me..." or, if it is an argument, "what you are saying is.... " (and trying to summarize what the person has just been repeating for the umpteenth time - but don't tell him he has been repeating himself!). Personal experience has shown me that this works. Unfortunately, I don't have the wisdom to always use it. I often fall into the trap of arguing with an angry person, making the situation worse! Or of trying to show him how ridiculous his anger is! But when I do remember, it works wonders.

Answer 4

Anger is a form of fear and that fear runs very deep. What you need to do is be very honest at what your are afraid of and any time you react in anger about something someone says, ask your self honestly - is that true? Every single time, you will find that it is true.

Answer 5

I don't think there are any ways to do that! They keep raising the bar and nothing you do will never be enough.
Even when they get their way they are still angry!

Answer 6

An injection of Haldol. Sometime a cocktail of Haldol and Valium is also used.

Answer 7

MONEY......if someone wants you to calm down, tell them to give you some money. Money makes everyone happy.

Answer 8

sleepytime tea spiked with sleeping agents such as valerian.

Answer 9

Give him a good crack in the chops.

Answer 10

Put $1,000 US in his hand