Do children revert back into phases?

Question

My son started showing signs of seperation anxiety about 6 months ago and then it quickly ceased. Now at 21 months it has come back with a vengeance. He refuses to stay with his dad now (my husband) and whenever he gets home he violently shakes his head "no" then when he tries to play with him at night my son will scream and take the toys away from my hubby and yell "momma" over and over, now he wont go with my mom, and when I ask him if he want to go to the store or to pappy's or something that he used to enjoy so much he says no and gets a very worried look. I work 3 days per week and spend almost all of the other time with my son so its not like he doesnt get enoug attention and we have a very balanced normal home. He has a nice routine and there is no concern of abuse or anything of that nature, so is this a normal phase of children who live absolutely normal lives or should I be concerned about his dependency on me?

Answer 1

It is a very normal stage.

You may want to closely check out the daycare he is attending. Make a suprise drop in, you know go early to pick him up and see what is going on there. Sometimes a conflict in daycare can change a child's disposition. Not to say that it is a bad conflict. Maybe he has decided he does not want to take a nap at naptime but, is required to anyway. See what I mean, what seems small to us seems big to a child.

I have always tried to make my parents understand that separation anxiety is not limited to a certain age or to specific children. He is going through that stage now and he may go through it again at another stage.

In rejecting dad and poppy and grandma he is just asseting his new found ability to make decisions. Does he play well alone when it is just the two of you or does he require your undivided attention? If he plays well alone then everything should be fine. If he requires you be there with him every minute, you may need to back off and let him learn again how to play on his own.

As for the separation anxiety, if he is still able to have a good time once you leave him with poppy or his dad or grandma, leave him as often as you can to help overcome this issue. He needs to know that you are coming back and the only way he can learn that is if you go away for a short time and then return.

If you are sure without a doubt that no abuse of any kind is the problem, not at daycare, not at home, not at grandma's and not at poppy's then I think everything will work itself out.

Just tell him when he yells "momma" over and over, "Momma is busy trying to fix dinner, play with daddy for a little bit". I know dad's feeling are hurt so suggest that he read to your son, watch fun videos or shows like Elmo's World or some other quite activity for a while. And make sure you do not interfer with this activity. Make sure you are not smothering him when it is just the two of you, then he really becomes dependent on you for his attention.

At this age generally children demand attention from both parents so it is confusing as to why he is rejecting dad. But, we can never really figure out the complex minds of children. If it continues take him in for a check up with his doctor. He may have an ear infection or some other problem that is not sever enough that you have noticed, but just makes him feel bad. Your doctor can give him a through check over to make sure everything is ok. Discuss your concerns with him. He will probably reassure you that your son is normal and everything will be fine.

Answer 2

We're all creatures of habit and your child may not yet be ready for any unexpected change in schedule. Sometimes when we don't know what to expect, we feel we have no control over anything and it can sometimes be too much for a little one to handle. He may express his frustration by acting out as you have described.

I have an autistic child and routine is very important to him so we must carefully plan any changes and give him plenty of warning. It's usually trial and error but try to find a way to make transitions easier for him and things should get better from that point. Try to explain to him exactly what is going to happen beforehand so he can be prepared to deal when the time comes. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Well, keep an eye on things. If it's a phase then it will pass. If there is still fear about dad something happened that may be a single incident or an ongoing thing. Your best bet is to continue to check his body for bruises, pinch marks and listen to the things he specifically is afraid of. Remember it's your job to keep him safe. Even if it's temporarily having him stay with relatives when you're at work to see if things change. Also check out parent center for more advice. I've used it all the time with my girls.

Answer 4

He is starting the terrible 2's. My son goes through spurt of doing that to me and my husband. My mother in law and I were going to go get my son a new pair of shoes and my son saw my husband's truck pull into the driveway as we were leaving and he threw a complete fit until I turned around and left him at home with my husband. When I tried to leave again he threw a smaller fit because he wanted me to stay.

Answer 5

nicely, it seems such as you're doing the suited you may and characteristic made significant allowances. quite a few it extremely is part of being 2, and a variety of of alternative it extremely is part of getting used to a sparkling toddler interior the abode. there is going to be a era of adjustment, and there is going to be nights the place he makes a extensive mess and spends many of the time snoozing everywhere however the mattress, whilst he sleeps in any respect. it extremely is the age the place they discover ways to convenience themselves whilst the wake at night. If it have been me i might the two quickly pass the cloth cabinet and something on the wall, or a minimum of bolt the cloth cabinet to the wall for protection. in case you do no longer ideas the mess, you may have assisting p.c.. it up be somewhat of his morning ordinary whilst he gets up. you should discover in case you bypass away a pair of quiet toys close to the mattress, he ought to no longer be tempted to shrink to rubble something of the room. yet i discover at this age the fewer you have interior the room to distract, the greater in all danger they are going to be prepared to sleep. I had each and every thing removed from my oldest youngster's room whilst she grow to be 2YO yet her mattress, yet she nevertheless liked to look out the window which grow to be in basic terms a foot off the floor, even whilst it grow to be dark exterior. yet another step he might take is unquestionably putting out the door, leaving the room and start up doing those issues someplace else interior the abode (we at the instant are dealing with this with our 2nd newborn, just about 2). so as which you would be able to evaluate getting a doorknob conceal now till now he figures THAT out. Or in the experience that your house is comparatively risk-free, be arranged for his "involvement" on your familiar journeys to look after the toddler at night and confirm he can not get out the exterior doors of your abode. the two way, it extremely is going to ensue, so have a plan. in case you have abode windows he can attain, that must be next too. at last he will quiet down. it extremely is unlucky that he does this at a time you have become little sleep, however the plus section is he's greater in all danger to nap throughout the time of the day whilst he would not sleep adequate at night.