Should I think that I will get back with my ex when she broke up with me and might be depressed?

Question

My ex broke up with me 1 mth ago having been together for 9 months.

After 5 mths out of the blue she said she was unsure about us. I asked why, she said that and I thought we had loads in common & the spark was there, she agreed, but said she wasn't sure. Within a 2 hours she apologised & said she had been down & it made her irrational.

Everything was good again for 2 mths. She again said she wasn't sure. We had a long chat, we both got upset & she said she was really sorry and hated when she was horrible to me. She said that she felt that she held me back (because she is often tired due to work etc) and that I could do better. I said that was never the case and never will be. I suspected she may be depressed as she had that in the past

6 weeks ago she said she "wanted to end things as her feelings had changed over a short period". She admitted she was suffering from depression then took it back 1 week later saying us was the cause of her being down.

What do I do??

It is a difficult one to know what to do. I could see when she was down and that was exactly the time when she took stuff out on me/us. On previous occasions she admitted that she gets down and pushes people she cares about away.

I think I am going to give her another week and will then give her a call to say hi. That will be a month since we last had contact.

I am going to ring her and just say hi and suggest we catch up. When we meet I am not going to mention anything negative e.g. depression or our break-up but just see how she is.

I will keep it short as well, no more than a couple of hours and then ring her a few days after and suggest we do something again. Funnily enough, she said when we broke up that she would like to see me "when I'm ready" so it's probably a case of taking things slowly!!??

Answer 1

It depends on whether you're enjoying the emotional rollercoaster (some people do). If you're not, then I'd suggest to her that she get some help to resolve her problem, perhaps by talking to her physician and getting a recommendation for a therapist. If you are not into the drama, move on. She will most likely be this way her whole life until she gets herself some help.

Answer 2

Since she was the one that broke up with you, you may still have feelings for her. You can have fantasies about getting back together with her, but that doesn't mean the fantasies will come true. Right now it is up to her. Since she says that the relationship between you was making her upset it is best if you give her some time and space to calm down and let her get back to her senses. If she says that work is making her tired then right now is not the best time to be having a relationship. Since she says that her feelings have changed over a short period of time that gives you a clue that if she thinks you two are not the best for each other at the moment, but it could change and in about a month or so she wants you back. It may not happen that way though. Right now you just have to give her some space to think about what happened and maybe you guys will be just friends. Well at least its better than being nothing. Hope that helps!!!!!

P.S- You sound like a nice guy who cares. You might not get her back, but you just might get someone better.

Answer 3

You should never think that you will get back with your ex because it holds you back from getting over them and moving on. However, because your girl is depressed this could be an ongoing thing. You should really think about if you want to be in a relationship that's a constant emotional rollercoaster.

Answer 4

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Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.

Answer 5

Remain her friend if you care about her that much and tell her to get help but if i were you i wouldn't try to get back with her untill she gets help it could cause her to get more depressed and if she truely cares for you she wouldn't want to take you down with her.

Answer 6

Shes got you on a seesaw - up and down up and down, then back and forth, well dear its time for you to get OFF that seesaw shes had you on. This relationship is on a go-nowhere situation. good luck. bettyk

Answer 7

Somethings wrong...... she's not telling you something, she is confused find someone else that's sure