How do you deal with your husband or boyfriend never being there. When your pregnant, when in labor, after the kid is born,missing his/her child first step, first words, first day of school.The reason for my question is because my husband just got this new job and he have to travel once a week out of everyMonths i'm 16 weeks pregnant, we never been a part for more than 2 days. What can i do to get my mind off this ****.
2007-02-27 03:07:48 · 5 answers · asked by One Love 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Hopefully you have some resources that military wives don't often have. Hopefully you're living close to home so have some family and friends to support you during the week or so each month your DH's gone. Hopefully his job can plan his schedule around some of your doctors appointments so that he can make them. They may even be able to plan his work schedule around your expected due date. Hopefully when he's gone you can use the Internet, phone and mail to stay in touch.
I know it's scary to face an absence of any time if you're not used to it but stay busy and stay in contact and after a while you'll be a pro at it.
2007-02-27 10:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be mean, but you really can't compare your husband travelling once a month to being a military spouse. My husband has been gone for up to 15 months at a time, with several stretches where he can't even call for 4-5 weeks. And he's got people trying to shoot him or blow him up almost every day. You've never been apart for more than 2 days? I honestly don't even notice my husband is gone unless he's away for at least 6 weeks. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with our first child, and my husband might not be here when she's born. He'll be in Iraq for the 3rd time later this year, and by the time he's home our daughter will be walking and talking. I understand that your husband travelling a lot will be stressful, but there is really no comparison at all to military families.
That being said, the best thing you can do is take time to yourself and stay busy. If you don't work, pick up a hobby, join the gym, or find a friend who is also home during the day to hang out with. Take lots of pictures of the baby - videos if you can - so your husband can "see" what is going on when he is gone. Other than that, just appreciate and make the most of the time that he is home. You'll get used to his travelling eventually and it will get easier on all 3 of you.
2007-02-27 13:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by Cloth on Bum, Breastmilk in Tum! 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, don't expect any sympathy from us military wives! My husband is on his 4th deployment right now, and we've spend at least 1/3 of our marriage apart. He has missed out on a lot of things in our daughter's life. Military wives handle it because we are strong :) And no, you can't compare being gone for a few days on a business trip to 6-18 months in a war zone.
That being said (and I don't want to come across as a b*tch, but it had to be said!) there are two main things to remember when you're apart. The first is to keep yourself as busy as possible. If you're sitting at home waiting for his call 24/7, you'll be miserable. It's best to find some hobbies, work, or spend time with good friends. The 2nd is to keep in touch as much as you can...if you don't have communication, it might get hard to trust each other. And without trust, you're setting yourselves up to fail. I hope that helps a little!
2007-02-27 16:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in Antarctica, at the beginning of winter there when my youngest was born. That was in February. I got home that November. No mail for almost 7 months. Fortunately my wife was in her home town with her family near by, plus some friends from school Besides those 13 months (sept 72 - nov 73), I was also in the middle east for 12 months, and 2 months later I was sent to the Indian Ocean to Diego Garcia (a military base on an atoll) for 6 months. My last year in the Navy before I retired, I spent 6 months of it in the Mediterranean and that's when my oldest was a real butt head and needed a dad home.
Hun, welcome to the military. You're not alone in what you're going through. Contact other military wives for support.
Good luck!
(USN/retired)
2007-02-27 17:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a week? for what,a few days? a week at most? big fat hairy deal. try 6-9-12 months straight.
You deal with it becuase if you don't, who will?
2007-02-27 13:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋