Me, Mom, Dad: a war triangle.?

Question

After I graduated highschool in USA, I was instantly forced into premed by my parents OVERSEAS at home country. My grades dropped gradually over two hellish years. I decided that I have no future in the field, so I took a strong step and changed my major to management. My parents, being both doctors are outraged. Though I am successful in my new major (GPA is 3.6), they still treat me as a faliure. I would love to get a job and get started on my own, but your average pay is as little as $0.78/hrs, not a wise investment. I get my pocket money from my mom ($200/month), my dad keeps calling me "hippie" and I can't make any move because I don't have the finance for it. My dad works outside town and last time I saw him we had a great fight (I called him a liar). My mom keeps treating me like property, locks the house at 9pm so I cant stay out any longer than that. My social life is non existent, I know my first step out of this mess relies on cash. What would you do If you were in my shoes?

My mom locks uses an inside lock, it doesn't open with a key. I do have a key to the house, but thats a keyless lock. Work is an 8 to 10 hour job each day and like i said, about 78 cents/hr on average (i did look around). Its another 2-3 years till I graduate management. I thought about stocks but Im ill experienced and i have no funds to work with. Each time we try to settle down and have a talk, they put on this bossy "do as your told" attitude, names, money issues, and accusations start flying around. I called my dad a liar, or more accurately "not a man of his word", because he changed his mind on a really heavy subject, concerning my transfer back a US college. He agreed and put on this whole act that he would let me go to the US, 3 days later he changes his mind, he says im not into my studies and brings up this faliure issue. He works out of town to stay away from mom, shows up every few months, interestingly still married. there is no balance. I need real help confronting this.

Thank you all for your help. If there is any extra detail you need to know please say so.

Answer 1

Yikes !! Your “parents” have some major control issues, and mistakenly high opinions of themselves !! The only “real control” they have over you right now is MONEY, so that’s what they are using to try and control you. Parent’s that act this way are LOSERS irregardless of how much money they have or what their J.O.B. is !! They are more interested in the “family business” and money than they are in you as a person.

If business management is what you are interested in, you’ll just have to find a job in your field, work hard, make good decisions, and start working your way up the ladder of success!

The military can be a way to gain experience in management, etc.. just think your choice over carefully you would be making a commitment. The military IS NOT boy scout camp where you get to go home if you don’t “like it”.

Maybe find a business you are interested in and offer the owner/manager an internship where you can prove you are capable, confident, competent, you may be able to work into a full time job.

Wish you the best !!! Sorry you’ve got but\ head’s for parents. :-(

Show them your "worth" by making your own way and being a success despite them !!

Answer 2

This could be the issue my wife and I face in about 15 years.
Our five-year-old son is already a very stubborn child.

So, with that said, I support your choice to find YOUR niche in life and pursue YOUR dreams.

Sure, I'd like my son to enter the medical profession as well (my wife is a doctor and I work at a medical school).
There certainly is a demand for good medical professionals.

But thankfully, my dad didn't balk at my desire to get a journalism degree and work in broadcast news for a couple of decades.

Not sure what you can do to get your parents to open up and talk with you (not AT you).
Somehow, you all need to find some common ground in a neutral area where each can openly and honestly express their views without fear of criticism, sarcasm or nonconstructive comment.

As for your financial situation, you might have to bite the bullet and flip burgers for a while until a career opens up for you.
Get away from the parental purse-strings as soon as you can.
That will be a tough act, but it will show them that you are trying to be your own person.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It's too bad when sucessful parents expect the same from their children.

Be proud of yourself for realizing you would suck as a dr. We need alot less of those kind around.

Try and pat yourself on the back for your own decisions, your good grades.

I'd stick to what I was doing, finish and then go out in the big world and decide on my own where i intend to go. If mom keeps sending the cash, try and start saving a big wad of it, so when your time comes froma decent job, you'll have the funds to get there.

Leave it up to your parents to contacting you awhile. Don't be the one contacting them. Can't you get a key made, so you can come and go quietly from the house?
For being educated parents, I take it they didn't have to learn about being parents.
Good luck to you, BE Proud of yourself!

Answer 4

You need to sit down and talk to your parents. Explain to them that you are an adult. Tell them that you have done what you feel is best for your life. They can not make your choices forever. If it is possible, start saving money and get a job. That way you will slowly but surely develop the finances to move out of their house, and have a place that is for you. Good luck.

Answer 5

Join the Military, try to get in a commissioning program.

That is the ideal place to be when you need cash and you are lost in life. Your parents are out of the picture then and you finally get to be a MAN.

Someday your going to thank your parents for all the effort they put into you to go to med school. If its not for you step out on your own, stop living off of mommy allowance and go make your own way.