I am a 35 year old mom and my 16 year old son is a 10th grader. He had his winter sports program from his high school sitting on the desk in his bedroom. I was looking at it since he is a wrestler and wanted to see his picture. When I turned the page, it was stuck together. I then finally ripped the pages after trying and it was a picture of the schools cheerleaders. Now, my son walked in and saw me and then ran away from embarrassment. He hasnt said a word in 2 days. Do you think he did something wrong? I never assumed the pages were stuck for a reason. I dont believe my son would do that. How do I approach it?
2007-02-27 02:49:23 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
look at it like this, it was the pages with the cheerleaders that was stuck, now if it was the pages with the wrestlers that was stuck then you have a problem
2007-02-27 03:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe it. What you choose to ignore is reality. Pages don't get stuck together on their own and people don't typically glue two pages (especially with cheerleaders) together with Elmer. It's an embarrassing situation for the both of you. He had a personal moment and you discovered it. He got embarrassed and refused to speak to you - get the idea?
Have a talk with him and play dumb. I mean, like "Dumb & Dumber" dumb. Like the parent who doesn't have a clue as to what happened. Appologize for invading his personal space and explain you assumed he spilled something on the pages. If you make any mention of "what" really glued the pages together, he will become more distant. Tell him, for what it's worth, your going to forget the whole situation ever happened, as should he and agree never to talk about it again. Everyone knows what happened. Best to put it at rest. If you didn't tell his dad, keep the secret between the two of you. He may be ready for the big talk about sex.
Good luck.
2007-02-27 03:26:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't believe your son would do that? Come on mom!! Hey, he's a young man with hormones exploding in his mind and body. It's a perfectly natural thing and not something that should be made a big deal of. As for what YOU should do, YOU should pretend that it never happened. The last thing a guy would want is to have a discussion on that subject with his mom. If you sense that, after a time, he still feels embarassment around you and it's affecting your relationship, maybe you should mention it to his father so he can talk to him about it.
2007-02-27 03:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by Knowitall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave it alone. He has a lot of issues going on right now just being a teen. Masturbation isn't something he wants to discuss with his mother. You can discuss sex in general with him (but wait a bit) but for now just let the issue die. He's embarrassed and he feels like you have violated his space. You were in his room looking around. He wants and needs some privacy( to a certain extent of course).
Masturbation isn't wrong, dont' make him feel guilty about that.
Just because you don't believe he would do that, doesn't make it true. All kids masturbate at some point. Just leave it alone for now. He needs to know that you aren't judging him. If you want his trust, you have to give him a reason to trust you.
2007-02-27 03:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Chrissy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk to him whether he wants to talk back or not.
let him know it's a normal thing for a boy his age to do, but next time he should maybe use a paper towel or napkin (something disposable) so you dont have to see the evidence.
at least this kid is doing this in the privacy of his own bedroom.....let him know what you were doing in his room and try to give him a little more privacy. I stay out of my kids' rooms, I give them the same courtesy they give me....stay out of my things and I'll stay out of yours........and ask him if he can get you another program to see.
talking to your kid about this is one way to let him know he's normal and if you address this the wrong way, he wont ever talk to you about anything personal.
i have three kids and they talk to me about everything.
if you are and act embarassed, he'll act and be embarassed.
just be glad that your son was looking at the cheerleaders and not the wrestlers.
BTW.....I have a 17 yr old son, we discuss everything. Being honest and open & not overreactive helps alot.
2007-02-27 02:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by mizt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, "hey, son, I'm so proud of you. I'd LOVE to have a wrestling picture of you to put into my photo album. Could I get one if you think of it." That's IT. Don't get involved with his sexuality unless you can do it in a very laid back way. Pumpkin has excellent advice and so does the guy above that mentions that you should be relieved. He's 16. That's what they DO, male AND female. Your and his embarrassment (and your grossed-out-ness) will die down very soon, but maybe not soon enough.
2007-02-27 03:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he probably did "do it" and that's why he ran from the room. Just ask him what's up, did I do something to embarrass you? Play dumb like you didn't notice anything. If he see's you're not going to say something, then maybe he'll loosen up some. Or ask him not to try not to spill pop, koolaid or whatever on his desk because the stickiness will ruin it. Make him think your naive in that sense. He's 16 yrs old and a boy at that, he's growing up.
2007-02-27 02:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
if you don't think your son would do that...you need a wake-up call...wait.... I think you just got one..LOL I hate to burst your bubble but he is a teenager and his hormones are peaking...he is going to do it and more than likely continue to do it. personally I would rather have my son masturbate than get a girl pregnant...you might want to have "the talk" one day soon. please don't think that I am making fun of the situation, cuz I am not...but I have been there with my son as well. you could treat your son as if nothing happened and he will get over his embarassment. (the easy way out) or you could sit him down and have a talk aout this...it depends on how open of a relationship you have with your son.
2007-02-27 06:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by julie's_GSD_kirby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had to say that I agree and LOVE zellparis' answer:). Of course your son was doing it. Drop it. He'll do it whether you want him to or not and either you can make it an embarrassing shameful thing or you can accept it and hope that you never find evidence of it again...
Seriously I would think that a mom who looked through her son's things wouldn't be that naive...
2007-02-27 03:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by Erika H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell him that it is perfectly normal...you don't ever want your child to feel that touching himself or masturbating is wrong. Just tell him that the book was teh wrong place to leave it...he should clean up after himslef...sounds like a talk for Dad to save him some embarrassment
2007-02-27 04:03:52 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋