Any help PLEASE!!!?

Question

How do you get a child to stop screaming for you to come sleep on his floor when he is in his crib? He's 1 1/2??? He crys so hard he makes himself vomit! All he wants is me to sleep on the floor with him and hold his hand until he falls asleep. How do you break this?

Answer 1

It's called "controlled crying" and is hell for a few days (but is worth it). Have to run now but email me if you want to correspond about this (been there, done that, have the T-shirt...).

Answer 2

If he is crying so hard he is vomiting then I think you need to gradually wean him from this comfort as he seems rather attached to it. I say first sit on floor holding hand for about 3 or 4 days then hold only 1 finger for 3 or 4 days then you rest your hand on top of his for 2 days then you just stay in room with him not touching until he is used to that. That step may take longer depending on him. When he is comfortable with that, start to think of clever excuses to go in and out of the room while he is falling asleep. Something like, I am going to get my book I forgot, or I need to use the bathroom or I need to get a blanket, when that becomes ok then move on to I need to clean up the hall outside your room you can still see me and hear me.....then I need to clean the bathroom I'll check on you in a few minutes! It may take a long time but I bet it will work!

Answer 3

I know at 1-1/2 it's hard to believe that you can have a heart to heart talk with your toddler... but you can. Get down to his level. Explain to him that he's getting older, that he really doesn't need Mommy in his room. Tell him that as a big boy he gets to pick out a new bedtime lovie from the store. Take him to the store let him pick out a stuffed animal or cozy blanket and explain again that this is his new bedtime friend to keep him company. You can also let him pick out his favorite pajamas and a night light! If you haven't already make sure that you have a good routine going... Take a bath, have a snack, Read a book... whatever it is... it helps.
After that you have to be consistent. You can NOT lay on the floor again. Once he realizes that you are not going to let up on this new rule he'll get over it. It just takes time to adjust. And another word of advice... let this be a reminder to not allow any bad behaviors go unchecked! Once you allow something once, Toddlers assume that it's going to be allowed forever!

Answer 4

the first couple of nights I would lay on the floor and hold his hand, then sneak out when he falls asleep. The next couple of nights, lay on his floor, but don't hold his hand, he may cry, but with you just laying there next to him, he will eventually realize you're still there and probably fall asleep. After 2 or three nights of that, keep moving closer and closer to the door each night hopefully this will break him of needing you to fall asleep, and he will realize that you are still going to be there when he wakes up every morning, and that your not going anywhere at night. It is probably just a simple case of separation anxiety he wants to make sure you're not going anywhere. Good luck, hope it helps you.

Answer 5

I am going to make a suggestion, and I want you to really consider it though at first it is going to sound insane.

Consider putting his crib in your room where he can see you. When you put him down read until he falls asleep. Then in a few months, or when you are moving him to a toddler bed you can try to move him back to his room.

It sounds like he really isn't ready to sleep on his own, that is normal. And forcing him, and making him more upset is just going to make this phase last longer.

It's kind of like chocolates(or whatever food you love) if you go on a diet you think about chocolates all the time because you know you can't have them. And when you do decide to cheat you eat way too much. Wheras if you have a tonne of them in the house because you bought them on sale and you know you can have them whenever you want you probably eat very few.

Forcing kids to be independant just causes them to be more needy. A child that knows you are there when they need them doesn't need to check as often as one who knows sometimes you are there and sometimes you are not. Really, most studies show that kids raised in more "attachment parenting" style families are more independant and secure than those who are raised in families that are less responsive (not quite the word I am looking for). Of course I think AP can go too far too, moderation in all things.

He isn't controlling you, he has a real need. And supporting this need won't make him walk all over you. Letting him walk all over you all the time will make him walk all over you. And saying "No mommy won't stay with you" and then coming back everytime because he cries to much sets a worse example.

Answer 6

You should've never laid down on the floor with him in the first place. When he is doing that, calmly tell him to stop yelling and that it's bedtime. Cover him up and walk out of the room. Only do that 3 times. After the 3rd time, let him cry. It might take a long time and he might throw up. If he does throw up, you can go in and clean it up, change his sheets- don't cuddle him. Put him back in bed and tell him it's time to go to sleep. Let him keep crying. Eventually he'll cry himself to sleep. Do the same thing the next night. It will get easier and easier every time. Eventually, he wont fight any more. He'll understand that bedtime is bedtime.
You need to let him know that you are the boss- not him. If you don't nip this now, his behavior will spill into other areas of your life. Put your foot down now.

Answer 7

Slowly wean him off of it. Start out right by his crib, then move a bit further away every two nights, closer and closer to the door. After about a week, I was back in my bed and they were quieter. The pediatrician actually suggested it. My kids adjusted this way when they realized that I was still there, just a bit farther. Good luck, I know it's frustrating!

Answer 8

Well, that may be extrememly hard at his age. I personally wouldn't have started that habit. But that's past news, so moving on...
You need to gradually start training him to do whatever it is you would like. I know some argue or debate the "training" issue, but kids aren't born knowing what they are supposed to do! That's what parents are for....to teach them. So even though you waited about 1yr. too late to start worrying about it, you need to train him to do what he needs. Sure, it will be tough on you and your child, but you will have to weather that storm. It will be worth the agony once he's figured out that this is how it's going to be! I was afraid I would have that trouble out of my child, so at about 5-6mos. of age I started putting him to bed alone, so he would get used to it. Sooooo glad I did that now!! He's now 2 1/2 yrs. and goes to bed whenever he's told, no whining, no fits,.....just goes to his bed (in his dark room, alone) and says 'goodnight everybody"! It doesn't bother him one bit, because that's what he's been accustomed to. Good luck

Answer 9

Just let him cry. YOu will be reinforcing a terrible behavior if you give in and do what he wants. If he vomits, clean it it up and leave the room again. ONce he realizes you are not going to capitulate, he'll give it up.

Answer 10

They will always cry and there is nothing you are going to about it. Giving tough love lets them build autonomy and crying is part of that. If you hate that he crys wear ear muffs because the only way to get him to stop is to let him cry after a while it will stop