I'm trying to deal with some issues I've recently began dealing with in seeking help with my past. I'm what's called an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. It's part of the process to seek people out who you feel you've wronged in the past and tell them that your sorry, etc.. My question is....how do I do that? I mean I want it to be heartfelt, but I have this suspicion that the person I want to tell sorry will just blow off my apology. How do I approach it in a healthy proactive way so that we both get something out of it, and not just self gratification for myself?
2007-02-27 02:31:37 · 23 answers · asked by Queenelizabeth79 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
LISTEN HONEY, you do the right thing, say you are sorry for any pain you may have caused and then move on, you don't any one any more than that, there will always be people who won;t accept that but thats not your problem thats theirs. good luck too ya i know exactly how ya feel, been there, done that!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-27 02:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by Billie R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must ask yourself why you feel it nescessary to do this. Seeking out others to apologise suits you, but if its going to piss of the other party - what are they gettin gout of it?
At times " You say it best when you say nothing at all".
As a pratical direct answer to the question - write it down. This is a way of wording out you apology in the exact way u want it. When doing it face to face u loose ur words, pace and meaning which can make your apology come out wrong.
I would however, advice that you show a way of being sorry; i.e. don't just say it to say it. Show what you have done pratically. Support your words with evidence...
2007-02-27 02:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found many times going back into the past seldom helps anything. What has been and was is just that. Spend a lot of time in the past and the future will be even worse for you.
Put your energies into makeing a better life tomorrow and leave yesterday behind. Do not forget and do not feel guilty just learn and go on.
2007-02-27 02:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's bad when reality comes along and slaps you in the face hey? Well if they were your true and dearest Friends they would have stuck by you regardless how drunk you were. If you really have this deep need to do this, firstly I wouldn't invite them to a bar or a club or give them a superficial image or brag of the new you. Just be yourself the friend they knew and it really will work out. Remember people aren't stupid they can see right through you and if your just being yourself they will know it. Not all of them are going to welcome you with open arms, so don't get offended or defensive you'll have to accept there opinion about you and sooner or later they will realize the old birds back.
2007-02-27 03:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by Riley 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that I would just say to those people "Im really sorry if I've offended you, I just want to tell you that my life has changed , I've realized I may have hurt people and I'm trying to make up for it...I hope someday we can be friends again. " Than let it go, give them a chance to think about what you have said, and accept the fact that some may want to just stay away from you. Good luck to you, it is a good person that thinks about other's feelings.
2007-02-27 04:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by bluelady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been through the same things. Al-Anon and Alateen helped me tremendously through the many years. I simply called the people on the phone and just told my story. If they blow it off, they blow it off- you've done what you need to do to work through your issues. Remember the Serenity Prayer - it will help you through this process. I did have a few that weren't interested, but the words I spoke to them will forever be in their minds. And the ones that accepted my apologies have bettered from my experiences.
I hope this helps. Just know that regardless, you are doing the right thing.
2007-02-27 02:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by starsonmymind 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you're sincere and heartfelt in your apology, I think this person will take you seriously. If they're a jerk, it doesn't matter, you've gotten what you need to say out in the open. That's all that matters.
2007-02-27 02:47:22 · answer #7 · answered by Silver Snake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start by explaining to that person what exactly what you're doing possibly with a HANDWRITTEN letter. i think any reasonable person would possibly accept at least that. give them a contact number or email and go from there. if you get to the point of a face to face meeting, then that person is genuinely interested in making peace too. good luck.
2007-02-27 02:49:05 · answer #8 · answered by U.S.A in Italy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Adult Child of an Alcoholic? Is that serious?
I wouldn't waste my time explaining myself or my actions to ANYONE. There is a reason that this person isn't your friend anymore. Just let it go.
2007-02-27 02:41:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The apology must be for YOU first, and for them second. You are not responsible for their reaction. As many before you have discovered, you can't always repave a burned bridge.
Say it, mean it, move on. Let them deal with it as they see fit.
2007-02-27 02:39:58 · answer #10 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋