I've known this guy for 3 years now. He used to be sooo sweet until he got used to me, now, not so much. He never pays attention when I talk, and basically ignores me all around.
Sometimes, he'll pay attention, talk a lot, and be really really sweet, and I remember why I used to like him..then the next day he's a jerk, treats me like crap, calls me names, and makes me feel so low.
Yesterday he was being nice and I pointed that out, and said it didnt take much to make me happy and he admitted that he was mean on purpose so that when he was nice, I'd be thrilled about it.
I think that maybe if we were dating he wouldnt do this, but im confused, sometimes I like him, sometimes I cant stand him. Should I give him a shot, or no?
2007-02-27 02:06:30 · 23 answers · asked by Dani 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've pointed out his mood swings before , and how he's nice one minute and mean the next..sometimes he doesnt care, other times he apologizes for it,but he never stops. He says "things would be different if we were dating"....but who knows. I dont know why he cant prove that to me now, if he's capable of changing once we're dating.
2007-02-27 02:18:50 · update #1
He did not change over time. He was putting his best foot forward, and being on his best behavior he started to pull this stuff a little at a time. The more he got away with it the worse he got. (there are many of these guys out there they are a dime a dozen) If he makes you feel bad about yourself and calls you names why are you looking to date him? You need to date a guy who brings you up not down. You need to build your self esteem and once you realize that you are too good for him you can and deserve to be with someone who makes you feel like a queen. There are good guys out there but, in order to get one of them you need to have some self respect before they can respect you and not allow any guy to treat you bad. Good Luck.
2007-02-27 02:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know whats best for you, you would stay away from him. You say that he treats you like crap mentally by calling you names and putting you down, in awhile that can turn physical. Right now he is doing things to lower your self esteem and how you think about yourself. That's just the first step. In a while he may become angry with any thing even if its the way you tie your shoes and by the way he's treating you now he might take that anger out on you in physical form. If you don't start ignoring him and finding someone else to like you might end up with some bruises, broken bones, you even might have to take a couple of trips to the hospital. If I were you I would walk away before anything else gets started. And don't forget, your a lady and ladies should be treated like ladies and not like crap. Hope that helped!!!
2007-02-27 10:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by Molly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he admitted that he does it on purpose than he has the power to stop doing it. Be honest with him and tell him that even though you love it when he's nice to you when he's mean it tears you down and makes you feel unloved. Tell him he doesn't need to do that in order for you to appreciate him. He doesn't have to go out of his way to please you all of the time, he just has to be himself with no games. I'm sure he'll straighten out and you can work through it. If he doesn't... you really shouldn't waste too much more of your life on someone who plays with your emotions. It's immature and cruel.
2007-02-27 10:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definintely not! If he is acting this way now, I can't even imagine what it would be like when you two are dating. I wouldn't give it a shot at all, but if you really insist, try staying away and give him some time to "breathe" and hopefully that MIGHT help.
2007-02-27 10:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by maryjane green 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first try and see if you can just get him to be a good friend all around. tell him that he doesnt need to be mean for you to be happy when hes acting sweet. if after that, he still acts mean toward you i wouldnt date him.... but if he turns out to be a really nice guy that just acted mean, then i would say try it
2007-02-27 10:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by Marsha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way - anyone with that warped reasoning should not be given a chance. Personally I would not consider him even as a friend if he treats you like crap!
Lots of luck.
2007-02-27 10:12:28 · answer #6 · answered by scpathfinder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him not to make you feel low or your kicking him to the curb. It's one thing to get in an argument, but for him to purposly do that crap. Not acceptable. I would leave him and make him think otherwise. That way if he really wants to be with you, you will have more control.
2007-02-27 10:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by whatever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. It would only get worse if you were dating. The guy gets a charge out of mistreating you, out of manipulating your emotions. Remember these two things: you're NOT going to change him, and you DON'T have to settle for a guy like that.
2007-02-27 10:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by Cabbage Kicker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO WAY, on God's green earth, I would EVER, EVER date a man like this. Heck, I wouldn't even be friends with him. Why would you let yourself be treated this way? He calls you name? That is INSANE! What a freaking jerk.
2007-02-27 10:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you value yourself at all, you will find someone who treats you nicely ALL the time!! his rationale for being nice/mean so you 'appreciate it' is ridiculous. he should realize that if he was sweet to you all the time, you both could be happy.
sounds like he's playing games. you'd be better off with someone else.
2007-02-27 10:12:55 · answer #10 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋