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i am getting married in 4 months and i did something that i know now is wrong. i did not cheat but my fiance thinks i did. he says we have trust issues , but at the same token we had an issue with him and i accpeted it and moved on. he said that i hurt him because his standards were so high for me. he called off the wedding at first but now it is back on again. what can i do to let him know that i love him and only him and i want to be with him. i addmitted that i was wrong and that i was sorry, but in the back of my mind i know that he might cheat on me because of what i did .
does anyone have any suggestions for me. ....... Please i need help

2007-02-27 02:04:12 · 21 answers · asked by mzmack 2 in Family & Relationships Weddings

21 answers

sounds like it's already poisoned to me
you shouldn't be getting married if you are having these type things going on already ~ you will find yourself unhappy and miserable down the road and worst of all you may have children involved by then ...... anyways, if you do decide to go through with it ~ get some couples counseling first

2007-02-27 02:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by ~*common sense*~ 5 · 0 0

Don't get married. One of the very first and most important things in a successful marriage is trust. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything!!! My fiance and I have been together 6 years now. When I was 18 we were going to get married but called it off because of a past choice that he had made and I thought I was over it but I definitely wasn't. Now 4 1/2 - 5 years later we are finally ready to make the most important commitment of both our lives. We fully trust each other and can do our own things from time to time and don't have to worry about each other or get mad at one another because we are jealous and worried what they will do when the other isn't there. Don't get married until you can without a doubt trust him again. Why would you want to marry someone who would turn around and cheat on you because of something you did, I'm sorry but that is just childish. The only reason he would do that would be to hurt you. Now you tell me, is the love of your life and your best friend supposed to knowingly hurt you and cause you pain on purpose? No! No one that cares for and respects you would even think of doing such a thing.

2007-02-27 06:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by Vogue 1 · 0 0

If the two of you have trust issues now...chances are high that they will still be there after you get married. Postpone the wedding, go to counseling and take things from there. You obviously still have some urges you need to deal with and so does he. Maybe in the back of your minds this marriage is something that you both are not ready for right now, eventhough it may feel so right. Go to counseling...trust me because after you two get married, the state is now involved in your relationship and then you will not have a say!

2007-02-27 02:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by jamaica1_9 2 · 0 0

You all do not need to get married at this point. Postpone the wedding. You have much deeper issues. He's afraid you'll cheat, you're afraid he'll cheat, why add a marriage to these complex issues. With the divorce rate at 60%, the odds are already not in your favor.

2007-02-27 02:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by bubblyboo 2 · 0 0

If this is the foundation of your relationship, it will follow you through the rest of your life. If there is even a glimmer of un-trust it will only grow to further resentment. I highly recomend you put the wedding on hold, and get some couples therapy - if you really want this relationship to work. When you take on a partner they are meant to make you a better person, and visa-versa.
Remember: Cheaters cheat, and often insist that others are cheating too.

2007-02-27 02:15:07 · answer #5 · answered by Robsthings 5 · 1 0

You're still only engaged and you have problems such as these. I think you may want to rethink the whole marriage thing until you can get these issues sorted out. Love alone isn't enough to make a marriage work. There has to be trust and committment and a lot of hard work. Good luck to both of you.

2007-02-27 03:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You're right to question this. You can't build a stable home on a shaky foundation. I would suggest counseling. If you don't address this and clear it up, it will always be there, between the two of you; you will both always wonder in the back of your minds whether the other is cheating. Don't get married until you both get past this. You'll regret it.

2007-02-27 02:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0 0

Jason is clever in that he's conscious a canine while he sees one, and the canine is Kyle. From what you mentioned, the stuff Kyle is doing and asserting isn't appropriate if he considers Jason a chum. There additionally could be some area of you that likes the jealousy that Jason reflects while Kyle acts like this - jealousy could be flattering if this is not any longer too severe. Kyle could like the consequence he's getting because of the fact he's fearful of dropping his buddy and he's conscious this could reason problems with you 2. No buddy is nicely worth all of this havoc, and precise till now your wedding ceremony too. the two one in all you - kick Kyle to the decrease. possibly after your wedding ceremony Kyle can think again his lost friendship and settle on if he needs to act properly around the two one in all you. you are able to artwork this out, yet you the two could desire to chill out down and communicate approximately this with the contract which you adore one yet another and your dating is the main vital ingredient.

2016-10-02 01:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by maragh 4 · 0 0

Trust issues take time to be resolved, if both of you are open and honest the issues can be resolved. Perhaps you should see a councilor before the wedding such as a pastor or therapist before you wed, it might help.

2007-02-27 02:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by whitehairblueeyes 4 · 0 0

really hard to answer that ? when we dont know what you did. but i would say if it hurt him enough to call the wedding off,,you will now have to earn his trust back,,its not a given now.once trust is broken you have to earn it back.and as far as him cheating on you because of what you did? if hes going to cheat,,hes going to cheat,,,its not going to have anything to do with you. as for lettting him know u love and want him? all you can do is say what you mean and mean what you say,,eventually when he will regain trust, he will be ok. just saying i do,and actually making a committment should be enough for him to believe you love and want him,,and if its not,,maybe you should call off the wedding until he can resolve the issues.

2007-02-27 02:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by jojo 2 · 0 0

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