Supernanny?

Question

I have 6 kids ages 16,12,10,9,7,6
Justin---My 16 year old doesn't respect me or anyone and doesn't do any school work at all
Jessica---My 12 year old does chores and helps around the house but she rarely does her homework on time
Ryan 10--Danny 9--My 10 and 9 year old play computer ALL day long and only stop to eat they do their homework when they are supposed to but it takes me at LEAST 20 minutes to get them to start.
Molly---My 7 year old looks up to her big sister,shes loves to talk.She hates homework and it takes me about an hour to get her started...sometimes I make Jessica(12) help her because she listens to her
Conner---My 6 year old.Hes a great kid and does his chores and everything...but homework.It takes my almost 2 hours to get him to start homework.He has ADHD and is in 1st grade.
My kids are constantly fighting and screaming at each other.


I'm losing it here I need to know...do I need Supernanny?!

Justin has his permit but he failed the driving test so no car. I'm gonna watch that episode Jessica loves that show and records them all the time

also..yes I'm am single....divorced

and I home school my kids

Answer 1

You don't need supernanny, you may need a break to regroup yourself...it won't have to be for very long. You have to determine what is keeping you from your kids, how much time you have to spend one on one with them and what resources you have as a privilage that can be won and lost due to consequences. It seems that consequences may be the strongest issue here. And maybe the reason that there is a lack of consequences for your kids is because you're not following through and giving up after warning them about losing something. A single parent has a hard time when there is no other parent to back them up. You have guilt about going at it alone and you want to be a hero for them still. It cant work that way. There is no connection between being a parent and a friend- your kids dont need another friend- they need a parent to set boundaries for them and to follow through. What has happened between your older son and you that he no longer respects you? He may be setting the standard that the rest of the kids are following. The screaming and fighting, where did that come from? Have you been overwhelmed at home and needed to scream to get their attention or so that they would know that you were serious? When you tell your kids to do something do you say it and walk away? Maybe thats why it takes 20 minutes. Its not a request, its to be done and it should only be said once. Stand there until they move and start to work. It sounds like Justin has some anger issues, contact his school counselor to see if you can get assistance, do you have insurance? Can you get family therapy? Is the other parent/responsible party involved in anyway? Because you need all the help you can get. Praise the good- if your kids can follow direction as you requested and can do it without complaint or fighting, recognize them for that.
Take two hours..(for yourself )1/2 hour to think about the most pressing items that need to be addressed right now, then 1/2 hour to determine what resources you have to reward/lose for the kids, and the last hour is for you to affirm that you have no other choice than to follow through, because starting with your oldest, you run the risk of losing them to their friends who do not have their best intentions at heart. You've seen those kids/young adults on the street- confused...Ever wonder what their parents did to help them find their way back? Or did they even try? Don't let your kids go that route, you can't give up at all. One role parents have is to raise children that are good citizens, people that contribute to society and that are not a burden to the populace in terms of welfare or homelessness. That is the task that you undertook when you decided to have a kid. And you had six, so there was plenty of time to think about it. And please don't tell me that kids "happened" to you, you had a choice in that matter, now its up to you to get your family in order. YOU CAN DO IT, MOM!!

Answer 2

in almost every episode it seems it is not the childrens problems but more of an underlying problem that has to do with the parents which are affecting the children. Learning how to deal with a child with ADHD is also important... Only you know if you NEED supernanny but to be honest if you watch a few episodes I feel you can learn how to do it yourself and what needs to happen. 6 kids is a lot! Good luck!
last night on supernanny it was about homework and a 6 yr old ADHD child... maybe u can find it online and watch it?

Answer 3

You surely are traveling a tough road. For you and your children, I hope things get better soon. I would suggest taking away all video games and computers. Tell the children that they will be allowed to play them when they complete their other responsibilities, which includes being nice to you and one another. Don't hesitate to ground them from their favorite activities if that's what it takes to make them more responsible.

The fist two priorites for all of them should be homework and chores. When I was a child we had a job that we were required to do every Saturday morning (forget cartoons!) before we were allowed to do anything else. This was in addition to our everyday chores. Every month we'd switch jobs. That way one child didn't get stuck with the worst job all the time. Chores should be like homework, do them first before you'll be allowed to do anyhting else.

Homework should be done before anything else on weeknights, including Fridays. If you want to allow the children to get a snack or play outside for half an hour after school before starting homework, that may help them concentrate better on their homework. Separate any children who distract others while homework is being done.

Have you looked into Big Brothers/Big Sisters? A friend of mine spends some of her time with her 'little sister' by helping her with homework. If that's not an option, find other mentors for your kids who would be willing to help you, such as senior citizens in your church.

Give the kids a deadline. "You must have your homework done by __pick a time______. We will be eating at __whatever time___. If you're done by supper time, you'll be allowed to ___do whatever____. If you're not done with your home work, you'll finish it after supper." Oh, and set a bedtime for everyone, including yourself. The younger kids need more sleep than the older ones.

Just a suggestion, but maybe you could put them on teams. Pair-up the 16 year-old and the 9yo, the 12yo and 7yo, and the 10yo with the 6yo. If the older helps the younger with homework, then the younger can help the older one with chores. Also, reward them both when they're both done with their resposibilities, AND withold rewards to both of them if one hasn't finished their chores. This may get them into a more cooperative spirit.

Of course, you've got a harder job than your children. You have to be consistent. If you feel the need to punish, then do it. Don't let things slide, because it'll be easier than disciplining. It may be easier at the time, but later you'll pay for it.

I'll be thinking of you.

Answer 4

It's interesting you ask, on last night's episode, Supernanny worked with a family who had a little boy with ADHD. With her help, that kid did his homework in 20 minutes. That said, I don't think you need supernanny. Are you a single parent by any chance?
Ryan and Danny need you to step in and control how much computer time they have. First, you need to get yourself a computer/TV timer and set up both to lock the kids out until YOU say it's ok for them to use them. Computer and TV needs to be set up as a reward for things like homework, or helping out around the house. Set up a chart for your kids where they get stars or stickers or something for every chore that they complete, which is then good for 10 minutes of TV, computer or phone time. Then, you need to sit down with your kids and help them with their homework.
I really highly recommend that you watch last night's episode of Supernanny because she really covers the sorts of things that parents of children with ADHD need to understand.

Answer 5

Yes, you do. First thing I'd do is get rid of the computer. Let them earn it. No one should be on the computer all day long. As for the homework. You should all sit together in one place to work. Give out tokens or prizes to the best behaved. As for the 16 yr. old, you need to take away priveleges. If he flunks out of school and starts taking drugs and hanging around crap, it is your fault. I hope you don't lose him. Set some goals for the future with him, what does he want? a job, a car? He needs to show you he is responsible and worthy. if he can't do homework, he couldn't possibly study for his permit. Get a man involved here. or you are in for it.

Answer 6

SuperNanny is a great comedy show. Nearly EVER episode is the same thing. The diagnosis is almost ALWAYS POOR PARENTING.

Remember who the parent is and show that to your children. If you've given up control of your home, then it will take some time gain control back.

You are the parent, it is your job to control your house and you children.

Your children like to play too much on the computer? TAKE IT AWAY!

Whatever their distraction is from homework, REMOVE IT! If it's the TV, unplug it, if it's toys, take them away.

Answer 7

You should have watched it last night.. It was actually about a 6 year old boy in first grade with ADHD. And the mother couldn't get him to do homework! On the show, it all comes down to the parent not spending enough one on one time with their kids. And they need to learn confidence.

Answer 8

Try sitting down to do homework with them. Maybe a "study" group at home will allow them to all do something together and get the work done. At age 16 your son may just need to be told that you love him no matter what. Teenagers are hard!!!

Answer 9

You don't need a suppernanny it sounds like you are doing a great job all siblings fight it only natural that many kids under one roof fights are bond to happen. You have to learn to turn a deaf ear. I think you should get a medal for the way you have your kids doing chores around the house, you will find that not many parents can get their kids to do this.

Answer 10

My suggestion to you is to make a set homework time right after school. Nothing else is to be done before homework. No t.v., video games, friends, nothing until they have their homework done. The only exception I would make is eating a snack or dinner.