Will moving in with my boyfriend ruin our relationship?

Question

So it's come the time when I've finally met the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm in my first semester of college and I'm moving to an apartment over the summer. My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage and plan on it someday...when we have money and can afford it. We want to get an apartment together, but I've heard horror stories about couples moving in together and it ruining the relationship. Like, the spark fades and they don't cuddle anymore. Their boyfriends don't do nice things for them anymore and the relationship fades. I just don't want that to happen to us. What do you think?

Answer 1

Maybe, maybe not.

Let me give you some actual experience. I've been engaged to women (before my wife) and we had never moved in together. I just didn't feel right about it. Yeah, they had a key, and they'd spend nights and/or weekends, but I still had my own place. This was before my wife.

We met two years and two months ago. Hit it off immediately. I proposed after four months. She accepted. We had a long, 13 month engagement planned (because I needed to finish graduate school first). We started planning our lives together nearly immediately. What made us think about moving in together was (you're going to love this) HURRICANES, but in a weird order. Hurricane Rita was supposed to hit Houston in September 2005. As a result, my then-fiancee packed what she could in her car and moved it to my condo, which was 25 miles farther inland and not in a potential flooding zone. We weathered the storm with no problems (I know, bad pun)! Hurricane Katrina was a month earlier, and a lot of the evacuees were moved to Houston. At one time there were nearly 200,000 people from New Orleans here (almost half that city's population). Quite a few moved into my fiancee's apartment property. Crime escalated, you could hear gunshots, and a lot of drugs suddenly appeared. We had planned to move her to my side of town eventually, but when I started hearing her tell me of what was happening, we discussed the situation and moved her in during the Thanksgiving holidays.

We've now been married for 8 wonderful months, and yes, the spark is still there. We still walk hand in hand, still smooch all the time, and always tell each other "I love you." The difference between my wife and previous women? From nearly the start, she felt like "The One!" I haven't changed my mind, and don't plan to change it!

Answer 2

Moving in doesn't necessarily imply that the relationship will fail ,but from experience I'll say it is a great possibility .You do not truly know someone until you live with them , so before you move in together do your homework, everyone has bad habits that don't surface until you have to share space with them.
So ask yourself is he a slob?( If he is are you a neat freak that means you may have to clean after him. )Do you mind ?( If you do it may result an an argument. )
Are you comfortable with his friends ? Is he comfortable with you' r friends ?(if not it may be an issue inviting them over )
Who will cover the bills ? if it's half and half make sure he is responsible and will take care of his portion .
Also make a list of house duties ,and everyone has equal portion to do so that way there are no misunderstandings .
Also since he is still your boyfriend ,and obviously as you stated you want to get married set a reasonable amount of time to live together then graduate to the next step engagement then marriage, no pressure though .
Last but not least make sure you have money saved up, so if things doesn't work out you don't end up on the streets or back at your parents house.
Well hope i was helpful and good luck to you !

Answer 3

Honey.... From personal experience... this happens regardless of moving in together. The spark WILL ALWAYS fade, you just get to a point of comfortability and its up to you how you handle that phase. Nothing lasts forever, especially long conversations, holding hands, cuddling and daydreaming together.... It just gets old. A truly lasting relationship moves past this phase and into an acceptance phase where its all about knowing eachother well and still being able to make eachother smile. Good luck

Answer 4

If oyu let it fade then it will. I have lived with my fiance for a while now, and the spark hasn't faded yet. You just have to come up with a way to keep it going. Moving in will let you find out how it will be when you are married. I think everyone should live together before marriage, it would cut down on the divorce rate.

Answer 5

I dated a guy for 3 years and he moved in after 2 years we had some of the best times of our lives but we would fight all the time and we really didnt see each other that much due to work. It didnt last long he moved out. we broke up and we are both with different people now. Some this might make your realtioship better some it may destroy. Both parties have to be willing to make it work not one sided like my relationship was. Good luck

Answer 6

do not move in together before you get married. it will not ruin your relationship, but really don't you want to save something for after you are married?. you can not test drive a lifelong commitment, you either make one or you don't. as far as losing your spark, that is going to happen no matter what you do, as long as you make an effort to not let it go all the way out you will be fine, just make sure that there is substance behind the feelings.

Answer 7

wow hold the phone did you just say that you found the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with? wow forever is a really long time sweetie! dont rush it! i think that you need to rethink this idea and take some time off! if you think he loves you you need to check on that cause once you say i do you DO! okay another question! do you want to be with him because he does stuff for you and there is sparks or do you want to be with him because he is your better half? is he your ying to your yang? is he everything your not? or are you just wanting to be with him just becasue! you are only a freshman in college slow down there will be many more men out there that you think you cant eat cant sleep reach out to the stars and never want to give him back?

Answer 8

yes. Most live in relationships never make it to marriage. You need the security of marriage before co-habbiting. It's too stressful living like married, but not actually being married. Just wait. It will make it so much better when you do marry

Answer 9

No...i dont think moving in with each other will ruin the relationship....my parents were living together for 5 years before they got married....so i say go for it.

Answer 10

DON'T DO IT...IT WILL RUIN YR RELATIONSHIP SINCE U WILL B GIVING HIM ALL THE BENEFITS OF A MARRIAGE. SEX, COOKING, CLEANING, WASHING HIS CLOTHES, ETC... ASK YRSLF WHAT WILL B LEFT 4 HIM 2 WANT 2 MARRY U BESIDES A LAST NAME. U ALWAYS WANT 2 GIVE HIM SOMETHING 2 LOOK FORWARD 2. DON'T PUT ALL YR CARDS ON THE TABLE. MAKE HIM WANT U. HE WILL WORK HARDER 4 U.