why do parents in the western countries particualry in the US don't like hitting their kids unlike in Asia

Question

I see some of my friend's kids they are kinda spoiled. I just wonder why they don't hit to discipline them and train how to be an obedient. In asia if the kids are likely stubborn or seemingly learning bad behaviours the parents would hit them, not s everely but it would also hurt the kid. Do you think hitting is a good way to discipline chidlren?

Answer 1

there are plenty of ways to teach children without violence. Often it doesn't even make sense, ie 'hitting' a child for them hitting someone else..
Hitting children only destroys their self esteem, often they don't even understand why they are being hit. It becomes the easy option, unfortunately it also leads to some parents abusing, and harming, their children. (The danger is 'the smack' becoming 'smacks' which are applied with too much force.)

And what does it model?? If you don't like the way someone behaves, it's ok to hit?

Try explaining that their behaviour is unacceptable, then either give them an alternative action or make them think of one. Repeat offenders then get the consequence they have been told they would receive, such as time out, no sweets or tv etc. This is very effective if used consistently and appropriately.

It's all about choice and ownership. This way, children make a choice to behave or a choice for a consequence. It empowers them and is much more likely to result in a positive reaction, whereas hitting can simply result in retaliative, stubborn behaviour.

Discipline has nothing to do with being spoilt, that is a parent's choice. Abused children can still be spoilt with goods.

Unfortunately, parents often fail to discipline their children altogether, which is reflected in unruly children.

I am not saying you should never smack your child at all, my own children have received a smack on the bottom or hand on occasion, but only where the behaviour is causing harm to someone or themselves and they were warned about it previously. As this has happened only two or three times in four years, when it does happen, it is very effective at stopping really bad behaviour.
There are plenty of positive parenting courses out there, why don't you attend one for more info? They also cover various parenting styles and their effects on children's behaviour... You would be shocked at the results.. They have certainly changed my parenting style.
We often simply do as we were raised, maybe it's time for a change...
Good luck :-)

Answer 2

I am an asian. I believe that the law in your country over protect the children. Here, we rarely hear that a 1x years old kid holding a gun and shooting their classmates. And I found that asian kids more respect to their parents.

Yes, we often spanked when we are bad. I think this is the truth. We are taught to be good. Spanking is a good method. Wasting the time to discuss with kids is meaningless. How come a 5 years old kid can realize how serious the result if they steal in the shop? The law will not do anything to them, just warning. Will they know how painful if put into jail? Therefore, parents are responsible to do the punishment when they are young. If they are adult, you could let them to be punished by the law.

Answer 3

Parents in the US have to worry about going to jail if they hit their kids. This country has decided to have unruley kids with high self esteem rather than kids who listen. I think spanking is a good form of discipline. I was smacked as a kid and I know I deserved it. Hitting just can't be done every single time because not all bad behavior deserves a spanking.

Answer 4

I have heard that in Singapore, people can get their buttocks "caned" for spitting on this sidewalk. That's pretty good. They should do that here, as well. Spanking kids should be done as a last resort, when all else fails. I don't want to advocate corporal punishment for children, but sometimes a smack on the butt is the only language they will understand.

Answer 5

My dad whooped me a few times. I probably deserved it. I think it's an effective punishment and has been for generations. Problem in the US is the laws stiffened to what is considered child abuse. So parents are afraid to hit children now, so they use other methods. You're right, US kids are pretty spoiled these days. Punishment could be one of the problems, but there is other probable issues too.

Answer 6

Only the PC (politically correct) people don't like spanking. Those of us who recognize the importance of punishing our children when they do wrong know that spanking can be a very effective discipline tool.

Answer 7

I got my butt whooped a few times, and if my kids act up severely enough, I will not hesitate to spank. Parents in the US are probably afraid that CPS will be called on them. Too many parents who abuse their kids have given spanking a bad name.

Answer 8

I'm from the U.S.A. I'm 21 weeks pregnant with my first, a boy. I plan on spanking for sure. Children are SO disrespectful if you don't use some sort of corporal punishment.

Answer 9

I don't think any parent likes spanking their kids, lol. I hate it, but that doesn't stop me from doing it when it's called for. I have 3 girls, ages 4, 7, and 10 all have and could still get a spanking, if need be. I think more parents spank then you realize, it's just that anti spanker's have vilified it so much, that people are afraid to admit it. NOT ME, It's very legal, and very productive when necessary.

Good Luck

Answer 10

i think spanking is a good form of punishment. the parents who really abuse their children made it bad for all us parents. i think that parents have to trust themselves to make the right discipline choices for their child.