need serious advice no kids please?

Question

My ex has turned me from a woman who was nice and agreeing on terms of vsistation even though we were not together(of Course) but he added a problem I didn't ask for. His whore that he cheated with and now lives with dictates what he says to me on the phone and is always in my business when we talk about our son.
I feel I am turning into angry person b/c of this and I don't want to be. I was fine before and I gave so many chances but he went to far when my son heard him call her his wife over the phone and he was very upset. He was crying to me about it and it made me mad. I am pissed off my baby is hurt and I feel like I don't know what to do? I hate them now more then ever for making my baby hurt! Help!
He doesn't see them their in another state and my ex can't visit he's on probation and he hasn't been there for him.

I don't bad mputh him in front of my son either but I am really angry right now and i hate what happened and the fact my sonhad to be in the middle of that.

Answer 1

to the crazy idiot above. d :
come on, you cant ever say to your son he has two mums, thats just stupid, he will grow up a bit messed up.
that would effect him and really not in a positive way.
he can only have one mum, donot confuse the relationships its important for his growing up.

you could tell your ex to make things easier for your son, as obviously this is a change for your child that you are also dealing with. this shouldnt be difficult for your ex to understand unless he is extremely thick. it is still his responsibilty as it is his son.

as for you, if your ex makes you upset, it could have effected you more later. also after the cheating im sure you are much more stressed than usual. i hope you understand your life isnt over, be happy, relax, take it easy, trust again, etc.
and you still have a long way to go. start looking and feeling good every moring, think about starting or trying new things. also, think about doing things you've always wanted to do, you only live once. eg- dancing, dance classes, join a gym, get fit!, cooking classes, dating agencies, reading clubs, sports, hobbies, interests, travel, experiences, concentrate on your wellbeing etc, etc. try out a spa, once in a while???
the choices are endless.

this will also benefit yours and your sons lifestyle and environment for the better.
good luck ( :

Answer 2

sorry to read your problems. I'm also pleased to read you try no to bad mouth the kids father.
if your ex can not come to you then you arrange with him to go see him. however as his "wife" seems to be the cause of the hostility between you (my guess she is jealous of you, and may think you want him back or he wants you back. right or wrong.) You need to be clear to him that she is NOT to be present for the forceeable future when you bring your son to visit his dad.
arrange to meet away from the home he shares with the "wife", meet in a local park or shopping mall (i think you call shopping centres in the states). you then make sure the three of you stay together being a civil as possible for the sake of your son. if your son can see you and his dad can still be friends and he can see you still both love your son very much then he will in time become less upset about the fact that his dad has a new wife.
try explaining to your son that while both you and his dad love your son, you could not live together anymore and that his dad met someone new so now your son has two moms (i know not a nice thought for you his mom), this should make your son feel a little happier.

I'm not a parent yet, but i'm going on what i think should be done in your situation. If you agree then great if not rate it as a bad answer. i leave that to whom ever reads this.
I just hope that should i ever be in a similer situation that my ex and kid would do what i said above.

whatever happens good luck and i hope you resolve this for the better and fast.
remember what i said about explaining to your son in a clear and child friendly manner, remember when you are talking to him come down to his level or raise your son to your level so you can look your son in the eye while you speak. make sure to give your son a hug at the end of the talk and with any luck he should be back to his old self again soon. or at least i hope he will.

or is the above nonesense and have i seen one to many shows on parenting?
good luck. stay positive and try not to let what is said on the phone or in person upset you, try to let it wash over you, the last thing your son needs to see is you upset after talking with his dad as that could have the same effect as if you bad mouth your sons dad.