Why do parents worry if daughter is dating a metaller, or say green hair, opunk, raver, goth or other altertiv

Question

Why do parents worry if daughter is dating a metaller, or say green hair, opunk, raver, goth or other alternative type who looks different?


As all I remember is all the fights, gang activity, serious drug use, knifings, shootings, kicking to death, trouble, jerks getting girls drunk to shag them, date rapes, drunken yobbery etc etc...


All occured in the trendy, smart dress clubs and scenes.


Whilst all the freaky goth, hippy, raver, metaller etc etc type clubs had people into the music, a community culutre where all looked out for each other.


If someone was older and bigger, they looked after the younger ones, made sure they were ok and got them home safe.


People made out in public areas all kissy paw paw but safe.

There was a culture of you fall down all around you pick you up.


Pulling shy wall flowers onto the dance floor and getting them involved.

If drinks spilt nobody cared or if bumped they bumped you back and had fun etc.

The cops also said

they never have trouble from all these goth/metaller types.


And whilst there maybe some ecstasy use in rave clubs... it mainly made those on it want to go around and hug everyone saying I love you

If any fights occured they were very very rare, very minor (ie little dust up, pulled apart, no more then a few bruises) pulled apart by those around them and chilled out often before bouncers even noticed.

Then made up and the end of it or so in so two timeing so in so. Still minor.


The main problem was falling over on the dance floor.



All evolved from nice hippies.


Often art type students and many became teachers or youth workers (the wild ones)


So why do parents worry more about them as have creative hair, tattoos (which mean a lot) or piecings into nusghty music and scarey movie t shirts


then the smart dress trendy types more likly to be deceitful and aggressive


Whilst goth couples etc are just all sweet and in love

1... have had various jobs inc grpahic designer, prop maker and others.

currently odd agency work


2 .skinky... As mentioned you dont get many drugs in the methal goth type scenes as its more the music


You tend to get crack etc in the hip hop ascene and most drgugs in the house and garage dress smart no trainers scenes,.


For kicks meal types are more likley to stage dive or snowboard or go surfing or skateboarding

Piano


Punk not opunk... its a typo due to fast typing and not looking at the screen.

Like skater punks into stuff like offspring and green day bands and skateing or surfing



NAtatlie... you are top answer... great analagy with Dirty Dancing... So true

Year the Movie Dirty Dancing is pretty much covering most of what I have been saying in several of these posts

****

Loudmouth...


I am actually an adult and found it was parents who were chatting rubbish and the culture goupe was rtight only found out too late...


Parents held me back and it wrecked life.

But seen these groups to be the most decent and its the smart trypes who are usually he drunken yobs doing all the drugs


So pointing out that now as an adult its the parents who were wrong.


Same as comparing witches and chrisitins... you are told chrisitinity is good and witches are bad.


but who was burning who alive?

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Iia... As all this crappy parenting ruins lives... And so does these hysterical nutty parent thinking thats bears no resemblance to reality


It hurts people... So looking to change things.


And Cant stand seeing people think in unrealisitic , hypocritcal ways that are not true

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Hmmmmmmmn


I have been vocally campaigning to improve **** sex ed since age 12 wehn it had lots of gaps and could not answer the older kids questions like would you like th have a blo------ --w job as your career when older.


Plus seeing how in europe they have hardly any teen pregnancies as have the sense to educate properly.


Plus dont get all these irrational fears and moral tripe.


Only see dating as making people happy, being alone makes them sad, you need the safety info...


So everyone should grow up stop being embarrased asnd talking about stalks and idiosy like lets keep people thick so they mess up and get pregnant as dont know what they are doing.

Plus the said obession with forcing parents to wake up to reality...


Persoanlly I would like to video what all these parents who insist their darlins are innocent angels get up to, force the parents to watch to they enter the real world

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iF WONDERING ABOUT OBESSIONS



SEE HERE

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajpw0tlUw.nxRFMbs_XQQpbkMBV.?qid=20070228023052AAnET0W

Answer 1

Which parents ? All parents ?

I swear it's just you they don't like, if you can't see past what people wear and what they like how can you expect anyone else to ?

Answer 2

I personally don't know why parents are like that, it is a shame that todays society has come to judge people based on appearances, because what a person looks like doesn't reflect on them as a person; it just gives us all a sense of personal identity.

I think the worry of this alternative style may come from the supposed lifestyle that comes with it that has been shown within the media, and I feel that they show a false representation of this lifestyle, as I myself am into the alternative scene; and people like to steriotype me into a group, 'goth' 'emo' 'freak' etc, and they just automatically judge me by the way I dress, and the music I listen too; when I am infact a pretty down to earth person (well so I like to think). The alternative/goth/punk/rocker/metaller etc scene is nothing to fear, and it such a same people feel that way. I don't think you will find any clear advice for your question, the reason for this it is just how people have come to view this image due to press/media etc. So all I can really say is that you should not worry about how the parent's perceive you for the way you look, let them see you for who you are, not what you are. Cause that is the best way to judge a person.

Answer 3

I agree with everything you said. I was with the punk or goth crowd when I was younger and they were they friendliest people around. I couldnt stand such people as the cheerleaders, football players, etc, and yes they were the ones on crack! So anyways, I dated my now husband out of that crowd, and I really dont know if my mom knew much about that kind of thing to stereotype him. She saw that he was a respectful guy.
Now Im the mom of 3 boys and a little girl due in March, and I wont judge any guy that comes to my door just because of how he looks, but I probably will be protective of her with any guy that comes to the door. No matter how he lookes. But I do know just because the guy may be well dressed preppy looking guy, doesnt mean he is any better than a guy coming up to my door in a sid vicious t shirt, with green hair or something like that.

Answer 4

A lot of parents have an image in their mind of what they want their daughters to be around. Most parents are very protective of their girls, especially. I have an older brother who was allowed to do way more things than I was (and not especially unsafe or anything like that). However unjust it might seem and however in line I feel it is with the general cultural idea that men can do more and get away with more than women, it's still a fact of human life.

I married a man who my parents thought was a rebel, wild-child, whatever. He had spiky hair and put dark blue streaks in it from time to time. He had an earring and wore a leather jacket that looked like it came from a biker's closet. He's a confident, charming guy. I think they were intimidated by that and simply thought that he was out to get what every other guy in the world is out to get. Yes, men are visual yada yada yada ... but he's my husband. We've been married for over 2 years, and happily.

I think too much weight is put on people's outward apperance and how they present themselves to others. this IS important, especially since most parents (and jobs!) aren't interested in people with blue or green hair and 10 earrings, etc. But that doesn't mean anything about the person.

So long as you are a good person, a safe, caring, trustworthy person, it just shouldn't matter. I'm such a girl because of this I'm sure, but I think about "Dirty Dancing" sometimes in reference to this issue. Baby's dad hated Johnny (who she was interested in), but in the end he was proved to be trustworthy and better in character than they guy her dad DID like. Just goes to show that image is sometimes just what people want it to be...

Answer 5

Because in this world the way things have been since the beginning of time is, hate anything that is different, even if it has no effect on you what so ever. Just think about it, gay marriage, who will it hurt? no body, but it is different than mainstream USA. rock and roll, different, they hated it, long hair,I had it, they hated it, pot, not as harmful as cigarettes, they hate it,its different. White America hates blacks, they are different. Along with hating Mexicans, Jews, Arabs,, Muslims, anything. If mainstream America hates something, it is because it is not the same as them, no other reason. Parents have no Idea what a Goth is, or a metaller, or a raver, so what is there to hate, except they are different.

Answer 6

I don't see how you can find the time to rant on like you do. You ask a perfectly good question (for once!) and then go and spoil it by adding all the usual waffle and unintelligible stuff interspersed with large blank spaces.
In answer - as far as I can - to your question, what makes you so sure that so many parents worry about what their offspring do or who they go out with - it's plain to see that most of them couldn't care less if their daughter goes out with any of the type of dressers you describe, but I'm still at a loss to know what one of your "opunk" creatures are. It can't be a typo because you've repeated it, so it MUST be a REAL word. What does it mean..........

Answer 7

Because most parents are afraid of the influence of the alternative lifestyle. They do not understand wht someone would want green hair. The think more drugs, etc are at the raves...Most parents come from the NON-alternative lifestyle and thats all that they know...

Answer 8

awwwwww didums, there's nothing quite like feeling sorry for yourself is there? It is the way of the world dear, people fear what they don't understand, it's a bit like that stupid episode of Quincey where he declares that some girl was killed by Rock'n'roll music!But at the same time there's no need to have a go at the trendy folk either, personally I'm none of the above I am me & am very content about it, I think age is mellowing me out a bit too much!!!!

Answer 9

Its probably based on the future employment outlook for said individual. I used to be punk, but knew I had to conform in order to make it in this world, so I gave it up when I got to the right age. I still dig the music, but had to assume some responsibility. Anyway, that would be my guess.

Answer 10

We don't have a problem with that,our 16 year old Daughter is dating a long haired,alternative looking 'SK8R' (??) 'dude',he's into metal etc, dresses differently,but we're cool with that,because he's a nice boy who treats her well & respects her which is what matters to us. Just because he dresses & looks different shouldn't matter.To be honest we'd rather she date him than these chavvy looking sheep!!

Answer 11

haha that's humorous. yet do no longer hardship. that's probably in hassle-free terms a piece. as quickly as she relizes that by utilising staying with him she wont have each little thing that she needed, she would be ready to go away him. she is jsut relationship. thats regular