she seems fine now , but she is only weeks away from form getting sick with something. she has diabetis, cirosis of the liver, Hep c, and end stage cardiac heart failure. 11 trips by ambulance in one month for overdosing on prescription drugs, then withdrawal, ademia, and acites. now she is fine and i feel guilty that I dont want to bring her home. Help
2007-02-27 00:34:58 · 15 answers · asked by ? 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Don't feel guilty! The reason she seems fine now is because she is receiving the regimented or controlled care that you could not provide at home. If you visit her regularly, take her for an outing and bring her home for a visit occasionally I am sure you will lose your feelings of guilt and realize you made the best decision.
2007-02-27 00:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by don n 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You'd feel even more guilty if you did bring her home and something happened but she couldn't receive the medical treatment she needed in time - she's obviously in the best place for her conditions with support around her if she needs it.
was the overdose on prescription drugs intentional? If so, while she may look fine on the outside, there are obviously psychological problems which you may not be equipped to deal with but the staff in her nursing home will be able to handle.
you really have done the right thing for your mum, leave her there but just make sure you spend as much time as you can with her and show her that you still love her. But don't neglect yourself either!
2007-02-27 00:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by vegasqueen1970 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, first I just want to say some of these posts are the most vastly uninformed and ignorant responses I've seen in weeks. It's easy to sit on your high horses and preach until you're faced with the same heartbreaking decisions, isn't it.
Linda,
Your mother is very, very sick. It's hard, even for someone with training, to take care of an elderly parent who needs 24-hour care to the extent that she does. I know doctors, nurses, and CNA's whom have had to make the same painful decision. I know others whom have tried wholeheartedly, even losing their homes to be able to afford round-the-clock home nursing care. Things of that nature are expensive, and in the end they had to put their parents in homes anyway.
I understand that it's very hard, considering this is a parent who took care of you all of your life. I'm sure she wanted the best for you. Now, you're doing the best for her. The home has 24-hour staff to assist her with her every need, including basic ones like showering, toilet needs, and meals. Should something happen to her again, she has immediate access to medical help. Her health and medications will be constantly monitored. Not to mention there are plenty of other older adults for social stimulation. You can even visit everyday if you'd like, and bring some personal items from her home to make her feel more comfortable.
I'm sure you miss your mother, and will feel this way no matter what anyone tries to say. Just know that if she's doing better in the nursing home than she did at home, this is better for her.
I wish you both the best of luck.
2007-02-27 01:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by Karma 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I read things like this and I really get frightened to hear what my
future holds......
So why does one have children????? I always thought family
is supposed to care for one another until death no matter how
hard or time consuming.....
In my culture, we don't put our parent in a nursing home....they
tend to die at home, surrounded by family.
I really don't know who's right....My grandmother was 95 when she passed on, was ill, but her mind was intact and would disown
all of us if we even thought about turning her over to strangers.
My mother was 77 and quite ill towards the end and I never
even thought of sending her away......Maybe it's unbringing,
culture, guilt as you put it, or is it Frankly my dear, I don't give a
damn, (selfishness)...Maybe my answer is to cynicle and not
very pc and some other might even think I'm hateful, I don't
mean to be, it's just how we do things.
2007-02-27 01:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by isageegee 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO, don't feel guilty. Your Mother needs strict medical supervision. You're doing the right thing. I know that my mother agonized over putting my grandmother in a nursing home. But she had taken care of her for 4 years when my father's Parkinson's Disease progressed to the point that Mom just couldn't take care of them both. She sent her Mom (my grandmother) to the nursing home and it's actually worked out quite well. Grandmother is allowed to come for home visits occassionally and actually I think enjoys being around so many people her own age.
2007-02-27 00:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by sparkie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh hon, you probably did the main suitable you may desire to, that's a lot greater advantageous than everybody ELSE can say! you may desire to no longer experience in charge approximately this--needless to say the medical doctors seen it a actual selection, or the might have fought it. i'm specific your mom stumbled on peace due on your determination, and that i agree that it became the main compassionate one you may make. Wnat's the area of prolonging a existence that's probably no longer being "lived"? Forgive your self...and in case you basically can no longer, attempt chatting with a grief counselor. God bless you and robust luck.
2016-09-29 23:35:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen pal .. at least you do feel guilty and that shows your a decent person with morals. clearly, because of this,your mum did afine job in raising you. But sometimes its better that the sick are with those that can provide immediate care. Bring her home for a cup of tea at the weekend...!! Bless you...but hang on , ive just read your question again .. shes ok now ?? Well bring her home then .. whats stopping you??
2007-02-27 00:38:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know what you are going thru, my mom is 93 years of age and she is living with me. her health is okay, she forgets alot. lately , but I can't put her in a nursing home. she does not want to go. so I have to take care of her, and shes on that home alert if she falls when I am at work all she has to do is press this button. and someone will be here to help. I have one girl from home care that comes once a week to help me take care of her. so if you really feel that guilty and want to bring her home, find something where you live that has that kind of services that will come to your house and help you. It does take alot out of you. it has me, but the way I look at it, she raised me and took care of me when I couldn't, now its my turn to do it with her. good luck.
2007-02-27 00:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alot of times nursing homes can be a great help especially when someone is too sick to take care of.I hope that you have the time to see your mom.My mom was in a nursing home and my sorry *** sister never had the time to see my mom.I will never forgive her for what she did.
2007-02-27 00:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't feel guilty. because you probably working and u don't have time to give her medicine while you at work. you do not have to worried if your my have accident or something the people in the nursing home will take care of your mother. and you do not have to be stress out take her to the hospital
2007-02-27 00:52:08 · answer #10 · answered by flo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋