can a man of 44 be trusted after he has lied over a 2yr period off and on? his he set in his ways. he is also a dj and he always gawks at women in front of me. his family always want him to do a party and im just tired of the whole thing. i want to be his friend but he wants me back and i just cant go thru it anymore. when ever we argue about him going here and there all the time he gets mad and tell me he doesnt have to report to me his every move. he has lied in the past about his where abouts and he is kind of stingy. so what should i do. cuz not a bad person just got some ways that i personally cant deal with. i stopped having sex with him and he dont like that. so what should i do and will he change. i feel also he puts his entire family before me .
2007-02-27 00:34:51 · 33 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men can be childish at times...no matter the age. Always remember that.
In any case, I think you should let it rest, period! He sounds like will n ot change. Men with certain habits seldom break those habits easily. If the significant other cannot encourage him to make simple/subtle changes for her, then he will have a very hard time of making those changes. DO NOT ever use sex as a weapon. If he merely want to see you for sex, then don't visit him. Without some response of love in return, why would you? You are only setting yourself up for heartaches.
You mentioned he as been caught in a lie a few times over the last couple of years. That alone, is enough reason not to come back to him. As I mentioned, guys with bad habits seldom change over night. In this case, this is still the mignight hour and he won't change in the next eight hours before morning. With the profession he is in, I highly doubt that he will change for you. If he gawks at women in front of you while working, who knows how he acts (or does) when you are not around. If he implies that he does not report to you of his actions, then that is a sign that he is up to no good when it comes to respecting you as his significant other. If there is no honesty and trust between the two of you, then the relationship will be doomed eventually. Don't set yourself up for pain and misery. Leave and move on to a better, more understanding, and loving man that is out there waiting for someone like you. =)
2007-02-27 00:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by indyhype 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello! Good evening!
There's an english proverb that says "A leopard cannot change its spots".. Once a person is like this, it is almost impossible for people to change in a relationship.
Age doesnt matter. ITs pretty clear cut that he doesn't respect your feelings nor give much thought to your feelings when he had those reactions towards females in your presence.
Its time to take a break. Go out and have fun. Take up new hobbies, new sports, have meals with friends or catch up times with old friends. Do something that you like or have been wanting to do for very long. You have suffered for too long, gal. You should get out and start life afresh. You deserve it, gal!
One misconception though. Do not go into a relationship thinking that you can change the other party. Most often, the person who has this thought will end up feeling very depressed and sad. Please do not have that thought.
Having sex should be when both sides are wiling. If one party is unable to have sex, then the other party needs to be understanding. Remember, 3 main important fundamental things in order for a relationship to be successful.. Trust, Love & Understanding.
Good Luck with your new life, gal! You deserve it!!
2007-02-27 01:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by DriftGal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all those things he's doing to you, I guess it's time for you to let go of the relationship. I mean you deserve better than that. For me, those were already enough reasons for you to leave him. Do not waste your life belonging to him because life is so short to spend it with someone you don't deserve. But in the end, it's up to you because if you're so much inlove with that guy, no matter what you do, you have this unexplainable something that will tell you not to leave. Just make sure your heart and mind are balance when deciding. Mind alone will not work, vice versa.
2007-02-27 01:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by Arvi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont go back, ive been there and got the t shirt. They dont change and you will never trust him and if you dont have trust you have nothing. I spent 10 years with a guy i didnt trust and the only thing i did was torture myself and make myself miserable. In the end he proved to me and everyone that I was right all along. Your gut instinct is always right
There is someone better out there for you...
2007-02-27 00:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by akaj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You basically answered your own question Ma , if you cannot trust him then leave him alone. A relationship is based on trust ... if you do take him back he will only go right back to the same things.. Pppl do sometimes change but from what you wrote I don't think he will.
2007-02-27 00:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get back with him. Guys never change. 1 of the most important things in a relationship is trust and if you don't have that you'll never be able to love him trully
2007-02-27 00:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by j25d11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel and the things that really bother you and then tell him thats why you can't be with anymore if he cares at all he will respect that and you can move on none of this is gonna be easy so good luck cause no man that age will ever change
2007-02-27 00:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by mom101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband for 15 yr and he has betrayed my trust many times, dont go back to him, I am completely miserable, I have 4 children so It is harder to get away but I am going to soon and when I do Im not looking back except for him to see and spend time with his kids not me.
2007-02-27 00:41:42 · answer #8 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no point in going back to him,the trust is gone.He lies to you and you can do so much better than this.He stares at other women in front of you,he is disrespectful towards you.You deserve better treatment than this.Leave him and move on.There are men out there that would not treat you this way.Good luck.
2007-02-27 00:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by canteloupesweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question answered itself..."I can't cuz I don't trust him AT ALL"
If there is not trust, there is nothing in a relationship
Stay away from him and move on with your life...tell him you are not interested in getting back together and to move on with his life too...
be cool...
2007-02-27 00:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋