My partner has two children aged 8 and 9 from his previous marriage. I have just met them and they seemed nice enough. It's just the whole thing is stressing me out and I don't know what to say to them or how to act when I'm around them. I don't want to do something wrong. They came to our home and I felt uncomfortable in my own house, how stupid is that? Any advice would be welcome.
2007-02-27 00:14:10 · 9 answers · asked by sazzle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dealing with the children of another marriage is always difficult. Be yourself and treat them as the individuals that they are. They are probably unsure how to act around you too. Look for areas of commonality and try doing things with them. As you get to know each other you will get used to each other being around.
2007-02-27 00:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
love them! I have a step mom, well, for her i guess she made a huge adjustment. Because it takes time to adjust that we wil be her future kids! But for me? No, because i like her. From the start she made sure that she'll take care of us. She did, while my mom was away, She was the one reaching to us. It felt good, she was relly like a mom to me, although my mom is still around but she's not with us because she's working overseas. My age when my dad introduced my step mom was 9, and now im 18. They got married 3 years ago and guess what? They had a daughter and I love her just the way she is! my cute and lovely little sister! Loosen up a bit, as the days go by, you'll get the hang of it. Don't ever think that the kids will interfere with your relationship because frankly, when i was 9? i dont even care. I guess they wont either, at their age? they wont even understand. Just dont hurt them and dont treat them like they interfere with the relationship because dads always pick the kids. I think you'll be a great step mom, you just have to let them know your a friend and that they can trust you. Love them and they'll love you back,
2007-02-27 00:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by ~rAveLic!oUs~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're certainly in a not basic place. Being an entire time determine to a newborn it is not yours could be not basic. you are able to take a seat your husband down and consult from him on the subject of the son's habit, so he can assist you to repair it. do not take no for an answer. so some distance as sending him away (be it selfish or not) - wait how the boy will act up when you deliver him away. you will in basic terms have extra issues on your hand. as properly, your husband is being a great father putting his son first, even in the previous you. that's what mum and dad are meant to do. Now in the adventure that your doorstep son would prefer to choose for the weekend and his grandparents are relaxing, that's yet another tale. yet he shouldn't pass in order that which you get a ruin, that's regrettably not how parenting works. good good fortune.
2016-10-16 21:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See afterall they are small children who have been deserted by their mother and they are deeply needing the motherly love. They may due to Adolescence be rejecting you due to hearsay that step mothers are all witches etc, etc. It is up to you to convince them that you truly love them ( In fact you should show more love towards them than your children) and see that they come close to you . Once that is done everything would be alright. All the best.
2007-02-27 00:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by ssmindia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would watch movies with them at first. That way you're doing something with them, but you don't have to talk with them.
Then go to the diner and eat.
Then to an amusement park.
Then have them help you cook.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Pretty soon you can all hang out and have it be a natural thing.
You're lucky they're still young and accepting!
2007-02-27 00:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, find out what their likes and dislikes are maybe talk to dad about it.then go from there . show them that you are willing to first be their friend and then a "parent"remind them that you are there for them and that you are not trying to take the place of their mother or take their dad away from them!patience is a virtue!it won't be easy,but nothing worth anything in this life ever is easy!keep your head up and remember that this is new for them too!
2007-02-27 00:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by pgiggles34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be your self in a childish way...
any child likes people that care. they can sense that. play with them..change a classic story in to a fun one so they will correct you all the time.. so they no you are not there to control them but to be there friend...
divorced kids need to receive more love then a kid that's an orphan...kids are smart...if you there for real on a good relationship they will know...
2007-02-27 01:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by silk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all they know you are unconfortable and , you just be yourself if thier dad thought you were good enough to meet them, then you must be doing something right. just remember they are people and they just want to be loved, this is your chance to know and love these special little people, so don't worry plan some fun things to do with them
2007-02-27 00:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by mom101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...just act normal and be the best u can be or the step kids will think u don't like u and then u might not be able to see their dad any more so just do what u can.
2007-02-27 00:31:57 · answer #9 · answered by chickie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋