I really dislike a work colleague.?

Question

He is not my boss but carries on as if he is. He is rude, bossy, grumpy, negative about everything and everyone, a bigot and I just hate being around him when he is in work.

How do I deal with my feelings? I feel like I'm going to explode and say something to him..........

Answer 1

Rather than focusing on how much you don't like him, pity him, his life has got to be completely miserable. In life we all encounter people that we don't like to be around. How we deal with them is character.

If he isn't your superior, or have the blessings of the supervisors to be bossy, then next time he makes a bossy action, politely thank him for his input, and continue on with what you were doing. As for his bigotry, let the supervisor know, and tell the supervisor that his bigotry makes you uncomfortable. It is against most company policies to make derogatory statements.

Grumpy, negative people are everywhere. I find it best to just ignore that part of their personalities. I tend to be overly happy and positive when I am near them.

Take a deep breath, count to 10 and if that doesn't work, count to 100 or 1000. Don't say ANYTHING that will degrade yourself, or that you will regret.

Good luck.

Answer 2

H.R. policies for resolving employee disputes, etc. are written for occasions when your own efforts have failed. What effort have you made to deal with your own feelings? I know what you're going through with being ready to explode. However, at work, that doesn't work. The best approach is direct and honest. Don't embarrass or otherwise publicly approach him. Talk to him on the side and let him know how you feel.

Ask yourself how you would want to be told if others found you grumpy and negative. Try to state it constructively, perhaps telling him what affect he is having, and ask him to keep his negativity to himself. As far as biggotted comments go, you need to just flat out tell him it's not ok. People like that at work usually feed on having an audience. It's the same with telling dirty jokes, etc. But the minute someone stands up and says, "No more!" that's usually all it takes. They will at least be careful to respect you when you are within earshot.

It would be the right thing for you to do to first speak with him directly. If you find that doesn't work, then take it to H.R. Record the date of your conversation with him. That way, if you do have to see human resources, you have strength with your words. What he is doing is creating a hostile work environment.

Answer 3

If he's rude and annoying why are you still waiting to stand up for yourself? When he says or does something annoying tell him his behavior is unacceptable and he has no right to misbehave. Your patience cannot take you anywhere in this situation if you don't make a move.
If you prefer to wait till you explode you will not be able to control yourself and your reasonable reaction will look like an hysteric action. Don't try to deal with your feelings, the problem is not your feelings, it's his rudeness.

Answer 4

Try avoiding him as much as possible so that you don't blow up in his face. When you have to work with him, try behaving like an actress (I do this and it works) - pretend you are on a movie set and your character is a rich classy woman who is above everybody else, but is forced into the situation you are in now. As soon as you are out of the annoying person's company return to your normal self again.

Another option is to make a note of everything he does to annoy you each day, and practice an appropriate response in the event it happens again. Because you are expecting his behavior you will be ready to deal with it, without blowing up.

Answer 5

Work hard for several years. Get extra education on your own time and expense. Make sure that no matter what this person does, you do it twice as well (unless you're a woman, then you have to do it three times as well for anyone to notice)...
Then just when you get you're promotion to become this dink's boss, start a file on him/her that makes note of how they don't get along with others. Carefully document their work ethic etc. (remember, this has to be done with everyone under you, it can't look one sided) and then with your full upper management support, (try to get someone else to do it) let him/her go.

Answer 6

i do not imagine that is an argument of going out with your buddy anymore, it in simple terms easily appears like he now no longer cares. And it really is totally glaring that he has already engaged in adulterous acts with different women human beings. he's not any longer in simple terms emailing them, he's speaking about lengthy drives and their circumstances jointly. It also appears like he's continually going to apply that incident as an excuse to do regardless of he needs. regardless of in case you adult men are jointly, the youngsters is in simple terms no longer happier reason they're going to experience the rigidity and absence of love between you 2. enable him comprehend that you're waiting to take a lie detector try (you'll locate one out of your telephone e book, they're accessible) to tutor you not at all cheated on him and that if he would not pick one you in effortless words want a divorce. you could't spend some thing of your life being punished for some thing you probably did not do. this must be your very last motel. per chance his mom and that incident truly screwed jointly with his head, who's commonplace with. yet you actually did some thing stupid by going out with yet another guy like that because both way it seems undesirable that you probably did this in the back of his decrease back. it really is the area that made you look sketchy. i'd say grant the try so he now no longer has excuses to address you want airborne dirt and mud. regardless of if he would not pick one, you should do it besides in case he ever information for divorce you want to have some type of decrease back up that those allegations are not genuine, in the different case he would nicely be regularly occurring interior the courtroom docket.

Answer 7

One of the biggest problems I consistently see in the world and workplace today is the lack of courage that people show....

Each of us knows that if someone had a problem with us, we would want them to come to us and talk to us about it. We would consider them miserable cowards if they ran off to HR to complain about us, or made a list of complaints about us, or even just complained to everyone else about us and never came to us to talk about it......We would all expect that from others.....

Yet, we almost never have the courage to do it ourselves. We say things to excuse our lack of courage like "It will never work" or "It will just cause an argument" or "He will never listen" These excuses alleviate us from having to deal with the problem in the most direct way....and the way that we would want to be dealt with.......

So......my advice is......pick a time when you are not hot with him, pull him aside.....make sure he knows that you respect him....and then politely tell him a couple of the things that are bothering you....dont make a huge list....start small........

I promise this works.......it is hard....it takes courage....but it works....

Answer 8

If your workplace has a human resources department, go there and file a formal complaint. But try being nice to him first (send him a box of cookies) and incredibly polite and distant. (Try it for a week and a half) See how that turns out then file complaint if his behavoir hasn't changed.

Answer 9

You could take a look at your companys greivance policy and make a formal complaint against him for unproffessional conduct Alternatively you could kick him in the nuts!.

Answer 10

Tell him if he doesn't have anything better to do than sit around and complain or make rayshall slurs, then just keep it to himself. You don't want to hear it. You would like to go through at least one day with hearing him complain.