is 19-20 too young to have a baby?

Question

Me and my boyfriend were only talking about having a baby maybe next year hes 21 im 19 been together 3 years, i just dunno if it's a bad thing to have a child at that age?

We do live together i do agree with most people here gunna be hard deciding best answer ...and no im not the type to go on benefits i have a really good job too i agree with waiting til we're married too i would prefer that actually

Answer 1

It depends on your circumstances.
Are you happy together? Do you trust each other? Do you live together? Can you afford it without struggling?

I'm guessing that you probably answered 'no' to at least one of those questions, so maybe the time isn't right yet. Why don't you wait a little while longer - get established in your jobs so you have some money, live together, maybe even get married. Also, why not travel the world a bit and see some sights. You won't get to do that once you have a baby and then you'll have some real stories to tell your child as it grows up. You'll be able to inspire it to make something of itself and value hard work, education and learning. Surely that's worth waiting for?

Answer 2

I'm not sure anyone is ever just ready to have a baby. I suggest that you make sure you're finacially stable, and can provide a loving caring home for baby. Lots of people I noticed were saying get married first. Traditionally that's the way to go, but that doesn't insure that he'll always be there. I agree with the ones that say live a little first. 19 or 20 isn't too young to HAVE a baby, but you're cutting your early twenties out and becoming a Mom. You won't have much of a chance to go party. Partying it's really my scene, but I do wish, at times, that I could just have some time to myself.

I had my first right before I was 17. I got married at 19, had my second a couple months before I turned 21. Then I had twins 9 days before my 23rd birthday. I'm completely done having kids, and I'm only 24. I think there are up sides and down sides to each arguement. When my children are all grown up, I'll still be young! However, it's a rocky road for us at times now. My husband is in the military, and I stay home with the kids. Any job I got would just be paying for daycare and that's silly to me.

In the end, the two of you have to do what's right for you. A baby is a LIFETIME commentment. It does stop when they turn 18. You're always on call, day and night. I love my kids to death, but there are times I wish I would have given myself the opportunity to be 20, to ACT 20. If I were you, I'd live a little first. Once baby's here, it's a lot harder to find the time and money do go out and do the things you want to do.

Answer 3

What's the rush? Why don't you both go travelling for a while and see the world before you tie yourselves down?
Having your family while young is a good idea, but 19 is too young. Wait a few years, have some fun and see how you feel.

Also, statistically speaking, there is a very good chance that you and your boyfriend won't be together in 30 years time. Of course, there are always exceptions. But at 19 you are both going to change a lot over the next few years.

Answer 4

I had twins at 19, we did plan the pregnancy, we were both ready, had a home and felt we could offer what a baby needed, when we found out it was twins it was a lovely surprise, the boys arrived two months premature and needed a lot of help in the early days with breathing and so on, I wont say it wasnt hard because it was but I think it would have been hard no matter if we were 30 or 40 because we had two tiny babies to care for but we did it and our boys are now 10 yrs old and start high school in September they are brilliant bright kids and I really wouldnt change anything about when I had them

Answer 5

i was 17 when i got pregnant and i'm was a single mother. having my son was the best thing i could ever have done.

i wasn't ready and i couldn't afford it but i am so happy now.

its hard bringing up a child at any age and really you only know if its right once you have had the baby and you see what a difference to your life a baby will make.

its good that you say you aren't the type to go on benefits but your child will need it's mummy there for a good long time at the beginning of its life.

like, i say, you don't know how you'll feel until you have had a baby.

but, being a mother is the most tiring yet wonderful thing in the world. i feel blessed to have my son.

Answer 6

This is a difficult question. Biologically, there is no reason why you shouldn't. It is important though to consider whether or not you are ready for the commitment. At 19 are there not still many things you want to do, places you want to go etc that you could not do with a baby in tow and in wallet?

Personally I think 19 is too young, but if you both want to be parents more than anything and are fully aware of all the burdens and responsibilities associated with having a baby (and can provide a secure home for it) then go for it!

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

No offense but the two of you are still children yourselves. You have yet to really experience life. At 19 and 20 you have no idea what you want out of life. So what makes you think you will know how to take care of a baby? Kids today don't think about the ramifications of what you do. Children are expensive. Take 24 hours of your time. and pretty much 100% of your paycheck. Ask yourselves a few questions, Am i ready to give up single life? IE...going out and partying whenever I want? Hanging out whenever I want? spending frivolously? Go to college. Get a great job. buy a house. Get married and be able to provide a stable life for a child. Do not bring a child in this world because you have been together for 3 years.

Answer 8

I am 37 with 4 children ..after going through everything with them, the expense , the all night hospital stays when one broke his hand ...all the waisted money when you take them out to eat , they order everything then do not eat it .. I am too young to have kids ...

If you can have them with out using any government help even with buying the formula , and are ready to give up your life and 100% concentrate on the baby ..what I mean is I hear so many say "i need a break from the kids " ..that is wrong the kid does not get a break so why should you , with out government help you should have about 2-300 extra dollars per month for the formula , diapers etc.. plus insurance of your own , the last thing this world needs is another welfare baby ..plus you get a lot better treatments and care with insurance , versus medicaid in which you get treated like a dog... I did it with all four of mine I have never used any kind of govt.help ...

Answer 9

Definitely. Are you financially stable? Are you in the right environment for a child? Are you sure it is what you want. And then there is the question of how much knowledge and life experiences do you have. At the age of 19 and 21 it is never going to be as much as 28+ because you just have not lived enough years to get these experiences. I wouldnt say that it is a bad thing but I would say that you and your boyfriend are not ready yet.
Remember that once you have a child you can't reverse the process and your life is devoted to and focused on them because they are so vulnerable for the first few years that they are born. And even after that you need to still focus so much on them because they are so young, impressionable and inexperienced. Most of what they need to know you need to pass onto them and takes a lot of time.

Answer 10

Have you and your boyfriend been living together? I believe you must live together for at least 1 year to see if a relationship will work, ya gotta know if you can wake up with them every morning! I would also consider getting married first. Do you want to be the only one at the PTA meeting with a different last name? If you get married and both of you have good careers then I think you will know when it is right. If you aren't ready to get married you should not be ready for a child.