Why is she changing?

Question

I keep thinking of the Bob Marley song; "Give them an inch, they take a yard. Give them a yard they take a mile." I have been dating this woman for several years. When we first started going out, I had just started my business. We were fine financially but didn't have extra . This year it really took off. I like giving to people , and of course her especially. I bought her some shoes she had always wanted for her birthday (not worth it-Manola Blanks something) Anyway, she has been less and less affectionate and is actually kind of b!tchy. I bought her a 40k car for cash at X-mas (2 wks before) and I heard her on the phone on X Eve telling her friend I hadn't given her anything yet! She now seems to expect me to pay everything (yes, I do) but never even thanks me. Thats not why I do it but, come on-just a hey thanks. She also now has cut me off in the bedrooom-( I'm on a 6 mo. drought) I just don't get it. I work REALLY hard, and give freely(to everyone) Why would she turn on me now? :(

I just wanted to add ; when we first were dating, we had enough to get by and that was about it. But we were definitely happy. I am kind of hopeless romantic and did all kinds of things we/she enjoyed-camping, surprise "home spa " nights, etc.I still do these things but she really is no longer into it.My main point is that it seems like being financially secure(too?) has made her selfish. She really isn't a selfish person. I guess I imagined that adding money to a good strong relationship could only help and was mistaken. I give to a bunch of charities and do volunteer work and feel like giving a WHOLE lot more away. Like all (except what I need to live.)I guess success is a double edged sword.

Answer 1

Don't give her an inch and take back the yard, too. I wouldn't be so generous to others that have little regard for your charitable nature. She's obviously taking advantage of you, and the sad thing is, you're letting her. End it, and find someone who will appreciate your kind heart and giving spirit.

Answer 2

hmm that is a tough one. I am not sure i would be so quick to call her a gold digger because when you started dating you didn't have the money that you do now and she was happy.

I think she may be be feeling a bit entitled to the lifestyle change and maybe doesn't appreciate the money. Is it possible that she really is looking for something from you without the huge price tag? A gift for Christmas that came from the heart not the BMW dealership. Something that says why you love her; book of poems, romantic date?

here is another thought, now that your business has taken off are you spending so much time working that she feels neglected and is not handling it maturely? I say talk to her and ask her what she loves about your relationship and what she would change. Have this conversation while taking a walk or having a romantic meal at home, do not have this conversation at a pricey restaurant or expensive weekend getaway.

Good luck, I hope if it is worth saving you will be able to.

Answer 3

Have you heard of "The Five love Languages" by Gary Chapman?
I think it might be just the book that could help you.

Basically you are giving her gifts as a sign of love, for you that's how you express your affection.
For some reason, she doesn't feel like you love her (perhaps her language is quality time, or services, or physical affection...)

The book explains it much better than me.

Answer 4

Manolo Blhaniks?? OMG I live in NYC and havent even bought me a pair yet!

Let me breeak it to ya,.
She is using you. Do you think that she could be cheating?? One of the signs for cheating is no sex. I'm sorry but I'm a girl and this is how it goes:
If a guy showers us with gifts and lavish shoes <---of course, we are immediatley drawn to him. We get used to the idea that this guy wants to take care of me, and I dont even have to do anything but be pretty.
She is a heartless *****, and you need to dump her.

Answer 5

Well you have spoiled her! And thats not bad, but an Unapperciate girl is not right. Girls need apperciate what their men do for them, and Guys need to apperciate what women do for them.
She sounds like a spoiled girl, and you have given her alot! I would say dump her, if she isnt going to change and be a good person, then why waste your money on that? You need a girl who will apperciate you.

Answer 6

I hope you get some good answers cuz the same thing happened to me. I feel ya!. Good luck, hope everything works out. By the way, she ended up breaking up with me a little after.

Answer 7

she thinks she deserves and more.

in this case tell her " I bankrupted last night, at least 1 year I CANT GIVE you anything but love."

IF she leaves ,let her go, she doesnt love you.

I THINK SHE ALREADY doesnt love you . LOVE is at first place giving and taking emotionally not materially.

if you have that kind of money give it the poor.

Answer 8

You should end it and get out to test the waters. You sound like a good person with a warm heart. But you should really start seeing new people. Whatever you do please make sure you don't cheat on her.

Answer 9

she wants more than money can give her. do the dishes with her, walk with her, talk with her. it an'it all sex and buying things, it an'it a dozen roses.. its one rose in a vase. take the time to be with each other sit on the same couch.. start a fire in the fire place and just talk with her and don't think about having sex just be with her... shes a flower without water.

Answer 10

You are insane to put up with that crap. She is USING you and taking you for granted. This is a perfect example of men liking bitches. She has turned on you because you let her. Break up with her.