and i feel bad when i say i am so busy, or tired today, i am such a softee people dont, respect soft people do they but i dont, want her around all the time
2007-02-26 23:28:30 · 12 answers · asked by denny 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Well you are right now a days people dont respect soft spoken persons. In my view be polite but assertive and tell her that when you can meet or talk to her. If it also suits her then its fine. If it doesn't then one day you will burst and that may hurt her also. Friendship also needs some space to grow.
2007-02-26 23:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by saurav s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this problem many times in my life and like you I am a softy, but at the same time she is taking advantage of you!! If you can't be honest and say you need some time to yourself, your going to have to make up a lie and say you have something to do on certain days..she will soon get the picture. I wonder is there a reason for her not wanting some free time herself..possibly there is something wrong at home?? We all need some free time...try putting some distance between you both, she seems very clingy which i know is so annoying but if you don't want to loose her as a friend or hurt her feelings sometimes lying is the best way out of it.
You could also say that your parent(s) have kind of "given off" about you having "people" around so much and that they asked you to cut down the days...pretend like your annoyed about it too, that way she won't think you have done it on purpose...if you have brothers and sisters, say that your parents told them the same thing.
I know people will reply to you with the "be honest" thing..which if you can do is alright but its not always the best policy!
2007-02-27 10:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by SH2007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to learn to live your own life, and put your foot down. Try starting with something like - Don't come round on Thursdays, I'll be doing XXX (add your own likely activity such as painting, favourite game, anything). Then expand it to a few more days of the week. Finally you can then go - Actually, you'd better let me know when you're gonna pop round, in case I've got something on.
2007-02-27 07:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy. I too have been in a similar situation when a friend called me on the phone constantly as she was going through a bad patch in her life - this went on for months - sometimes resulting in her calling or texting me up to 3 times a day. I eventually had to say enough is enough - and told her that I would always be here for her day and night, I just cant cope with it all the time as I had my own problems.
Friends in need, have to understand, particularly if they are relying on your advice, understanding etc that you have a life of your own too. If they arent aware of it as they are too wrapped up in their own life then they need to be made aware of it.
P.S. I am a softy too and when I eventually told her of my feelings I felt bad immediately but it worked and we are still close friends and I know that she would be there for me also - Good luck!
2007-02-27 07:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by Boo Boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you also need your own space, you will have to be tougher, its not being unkind, try saying you are busy on certain days, if you can be honest, its the best way, but it is hard, im not a coward, but i dont like situations where someones feathers get ruffled, i would make some excuses up, or simply not answer the door every time, in time she hopefuuly get the message that youre not at her beck and call
2007-02-28 09:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh My God, I have exactly the same problem. Its not that I don't want to see her, it's just I don't want to have her here every day. There have been weeks where she has been at mine every day. I don't know what the solution is, (I am a softie like you), but I just figure its good for my karma! (And I am planning to move away from the area this year, hopefully!)
If anyone else has any suggestions, I too, would like to know how to deal with this situation!
2007-02-27 07:32:17 · answer #6 · answered by lululaluau 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. Just be honest with your friend and tell her that you are tired and can't see her. Maybe discuss with her that only want her to come around on a certain night or nights and that way she is clear on when she can see you.
2007-02-27 07:32:08 · answer #7 · answered by Prince 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set a set time to meet each week like Friday afternoons. Explain that you have appointments or commitments during the week and can only meet them. Your friend will get the message. Or, don't answer the door or calls and they will find other friends to talk to.
2007-02-27 07:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just ask her to let you know when she wants to come over as you can see if you're free....hint that you've got lots on and suggest meeting, say, 'next tuesday' and arrange a time in advance.
Hope you sort this out haha, but i'd also take it as a compliment that she wants to spend time with you!
:-)
2007-02-27 09:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Hayley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I know what you mean. I used to have one of those. I just told him that I have big exams coming up and I need to revise. Tell her that she can come round on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays instead of every day.
2007-02-27 07:31:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋