at first i was distraught but wev decided to make a go of it and swept it under the rug. now i feel i let him off too lightly but i jus wana be with him. now i feel as long as i dont find out im happy, is this normal or ok to have this attitude?
2007-02-26 23:15:23 · 29 answers · asked by kate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well...if you were on a break....
2007-02-26 23:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, it sounds like you have a huge amount of trust for your man and it says a lot of good for the kind of person you are - I think it's great that you can be strong enough to move on from it. There's no point in dwelling in the past especially if he seems sincere enough and regrets what he did. Regret... which he must do because he told you which is even more important, that he was honest about his mistake. I know you say you wish you'd just never known about it, but imagine if you had to find out the hard way - i.e. through your friend/his best friend or worst catch them red handed, then you'd have known your relationship was a dead end - and it would have hurt you ten thousand times more, he came clean with you which means you mean something to him and he didn't want it hanging on his shoulders that if you found out and if anything needed your forgiveness and support to get through his mistake.
I know most people say if he's cheated on you, he's guaranteed to do it again, but not all men are like that, you do ocassionally come across the few decent men who are genuinely dedicated to their ladies. I know from my own experience even though it's in the past, you cant help but have your moments of insecureness or always feel that you're looking back but that's gonna be the strength of your relationship of getting through it together, the more you grow to trust him again - the easier your relationship will become. Don't dwell on it because it will end your relationship, look to the future - if he does it again... sure it's gonna hurt like heck but you've gotta hold your head high and say, "sorry buddy, I gave you a chance, you lose this time and goodbye". It's his loss if he ever does it again.
Instead of just giving up, you've given him a second chance and that's also given you the opportunity to see what kind of relationship material he's really made of. I think you've done something really positive.
Good luck
2007-02-27 00:50:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - NO!
Second - you need to find out WHY he did it - have *the talk*. Make sure that you ask him once and for all - why - THEN and only then can you deal with it. At the end of the day - why be in a relationship that perhaps either party doesn't want to be in?! Are you sticking by him cos you love him? Or doing it cos you don't want to be alone? At this point in time - you are not over it - and you need to get to that stage before the r'ship can recover; especially issues over TRUST and HONESTY.
GOOD LUCK with it! x
2007-02-26 23:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by angelforlife1999 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are sort of contradiciting yourself by saying you think you let him off too lightly and then saying you don't care. If you don't care there's nothing to let him off for. Wait and see if you are happy not knowing. Usually not knowing is the worst not best part of having a cheat for a partner. Tell him you are happy not knowing and wear protection probably best way forward. What works for you may seem strange to others but if it works it works
2007-02-27 01:00:52 · answer #4 · answered by billiebimbo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found out I'd been cheated on and I took the decision to forgive him. It's never been mentioned again and we've now been married for ten years and have two beautiful children. Of course, given the choice, I'd rather not have known in the first place but you can't change that. So long as you're happy, that's all that matters x
2007-02-26 23:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well one of the most important things to have in a relationship and if my boyfriend cheated on me there is no way i could trust him again.
But everyone is different and what works for one couple might not necessarily work for another. If you are both happy and ok with the situation and there isnt any future problems because of that act, then who cares what we all think.
2007-02-26 23:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by Sass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the eyes don't see - the heart won't grieve over. Ah! but will the brain stop thinking about it?
If you feel like you let him off too easily...then you probably did.
For me, I would have to know, and not even think about it. That would make it normal for me.
Kate, normal is whatever you don't notice, like breathing air. Not someone elses idea of 'Normal'. Trust yourself, we don't know you as well as you do.
2007-02-26 23:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by Reynard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i couldn't have been quite so forgiving, if you have totally got over it and it never enters your mind in a bad way or in arguements then maybe you can get over it. but the fact you say you don't care and asking us then i think you either don't care and don't want to be with him anymore and want us to verify that for you or you haven't truly forgiven him and care a lot. I would be asking myself why he mucked about if its for reasons that are still there or cos he felt like it or to weak then how can you 100% trust him not to do it again. be careful. Whatever your decision do whatever makes you happy.
2007-02-26 23:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by curiouskel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think you deserve that sort of treatment then for you it might be OK and normal.
put feelings to the side....would he except that from you...
realising the truth can be hard but so is waiting and thinking it might happen again.
p.s your situation is yours alone deal with it in a way that will benefit you in the long run...not only in the short term unless 'he is short term'
good luck.
2007-02-26 23:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by lucky 7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it happens a lot but i think it could cause problems in your future unless you agree to have an open relationship and you see other men too. This WILL impact you somehow, sometime, somewhere even if you decided to close your eyes now.
what's more he probably won't respect you, and you will lose respect for yourself. You are worth more.
2007-03-02 22:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With that attitude he will cheat on you again
Don't become a doormat for him OK he might be really sorry but if he does it again please don't put up with it just because you want to be with him
Your worth a lot more than that
2007-02-26 23:22:04 · answer #11 · answered by Black Orchid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋