Should men have to financially support kids they didnt want?

Question

If a woman gets pregnant. She has the option of keeping or aborting the child. The fathers wishes are irrelevant.

This strikes me as extremely unfair.

If the man wants the child and the woman doesnt, the man is outta luck. Child is aborted.

If the man DOESNT want the child and the woman does, the man is outta luck and is paying child support for 18 years.

I am not suggesting that men SHOULD be able to dictate what a woman should do with her body (keep or abort) however i am saying that they should have SOME recourse.

If a man doesnt want a child and the woman does, the man should be allowed to sign documents forgoing all legal rights to the child thus absolving him of any of the costs associated with raising the child.

Is there a REASONED female reply to this?

The it takes two to make a child logic is bogus.

Because at the end of the day the woman can abort the child if she chooses.

Unless the ladies are suggesting that they should HAVE to carry a child to term if the father wants it and she doesnt?

Some of you are assuming that i am a father, deadbeat dad, expecting a unwanted child.

THIS IS FALSE. So please stop it. I have no children and none are on the way.

Cathy: Of course it took 2 people, i am talking about AFTER conception. You seem to neglect the fact that ALL the choices are still with the woman, if the woman has it ruff for 18 years thats HER CHOICE.

If women had no abortion options, then of course the man should HAVE to pay child support.

But this is not the case in most parts of the US.


Wanger: If you choose to pay and be a part of the childs life great, you got the choice you wanted (i think) i am talking about the guys that dont get that choice.

Most of the women that are responding to this thread cannot honestly say they are being fair or thinking about anything but their own self interests. They want the RIGHT to have a abortion if desired and the RIGHT to dig in the fathers pockets if they want the child.

Are there ANY women with ethics on yahoo?

Answer 1

This has nothing to do with what is best for the child, it has to do with gender politics. The ability of the woman to dictate, through the machinery of the state, how the man's resources are to be used is a vestigial practice that predated the women's movement. It is often about pay back for real or imagined abandonment of the woman, not the child. It is disgusting and it is time that this issue is fairly taken up by a thoughtful court. Judging from the emotional (hysterical?) response from the females responding to this question, I doubt that any court will dare touch it. This is sad!

Answer 2

I do agree with you. I believe that a man should be able to sign off on a child they dont want and did not plan. The woman has that option if she so chooses and men should too.But there is one problem with it-if all the men sign off then who is supporting all those children. The taxpayers will end up doing it. Also many men find that the child they "didnt want" is the light of their life and cant imagine life with out them now.


Dont you all love the way all the women on here say well you should have worn a condom? But on this site we see many women who are scared they are pregnant and DID use condoms and/or other protection. Come on ladies we all know birth control fails some times.

I have a brother too. He has a child he never sees and doesnt want. One kid. He pays 65% of his paycheck for her care. He lives at home because child support takes so much of his check he cant afford an apartment. Thats not fair either.

Answer 3

Alright guy, I am going to have to take your side on this one....I am a happily married mother of a 11 month old, so I am the LAST person you probably think would be on your side.
BUT......
Men really get the short end of the stick when it comes to babies. They have NO say. I have a male friend who has a child. He screwed up and got her pregnant, that was his bad.........but his first baby: The mother smoked the entire pregnancy, never ate right, did not take care of herself while she was pregnant. and all he could do was watch......he wanted her to breastfeed because it was better for the child. she refused. He ended up taking the baby to WIC to get food and formula. She is a classic deadbeat mom. He has tried to get custody but cannot. he does not want to leave and pay support, because he knows she would spend the money on herself. and he can't leave with the kid. He would have never wanted her to abort the baby, as he loves his son......but has had NO say in so much of the child's life so far.

Scenario #2
My brother had a girlfriend for a while. I would say a year they dated. She swore up and down she could not get pregnant. I have no idea what protection they used, if any. I did not care to ask. But she had a 5 year old son and said she had her tubes tied. they broke up. about 2 years later, POOF......she is pregnant. so where would that have left my brother if HE had been the one to get her pregnant?? He did not want a kid and she swore that she could not get knocked up......not cool.

I realize that none of these examples are exactly what you are saying, but I do agree with you. I am female......but I will say this: women can be nasty. they can get pregnant to keep a guy with them, they can get pregnant to get money. I am a social worker. I have seen the worst of the worst and I know what people can do. and sadly, some do it........
so I agree with your statement that If a man doesn't want a child and the woman does, the man should be allowed to sign documents forgoing all legal rights to the child thus absolving him of any of the costs associated with raising the child. This would help prevent women from getting pregnant for the wrong reasons.

Answer 4

In almost every case a man should have to pay for the children he has fathered. The only case I can think of where this is not fair, is when a married women cheats and the man paying has no idea that he didn't father the child/children. A man should when looking at women, say to himself " would I want to father children with this woman" . If the answer is NO don't even consider sex.

Answer 5

The way I look at it is that if the man or women did not want a child to begin with, they should have used protection in the first place and if there is a child abortion is not even an option in my book. It's murder, unless it is life threatening to the mother. I payed 18 years of child support and my ex-wife and I are still friends to this day. My son is now 25 and expecting a child of his own. The way I look at it is that the child has no "recourse" as you said to take care of or help his mother take care of him/her, so if you are going to do the deed, you pay the price. Children are forever and they are a part of you and her, even if they are out of lust. You have a responsibility to care for the child, irregardless of whether or not you wanted it. At worst, the child could be a namesake and carry on your name. Did you think of that?

Answer 6

The first part of your question is 'if a woman gets pregnant."

As if she can get pregant ALL BY HERSELF!! There are two people in this question.

My brother has this problem. He has a child from a one night stand. "how come I got to pay, I dont want kids"??

I tell him like I am telling you. 1. you did not have to have sex with her. 2. you could have worn a condom. There are ways for men to not have children untill they want them

Is the woman not also paying for what you call 18 years.? You make it sound as if the man is the only one that is having it ruff.

Yes, I am a woman so I can sound a little harsh when I say. A few dollars out of your pay check is not that bad.

Weather we like it or not men have children they do not want and still have to pay for them as do woman have children they do not want and have to raise them.

No matter they way the child go here there still is a child in this world and needs to be taken care of financially.

If you or the other men did not want to have this problem then they should find ways to not have children with woman they do not like or do not want to be with or do not want to have children with.

Answer 7

Most of the answers here relate to you being more responsible and wearing a condom. What about waiting until you know a person, I mean really know them before you commit to them. So many people have casual sex without any thought or regard as to the future. If you know the person you are having sex with then you will know their thoughts on pregnancy and such. You will know that this person, should she get pregnant, will not abort your baby. You can both take the precautions together. I do agree that it is a bit one-sided, however, I do not hear one man complaining that he did not get to carry that baby for 9 months or feel those contractions. You cannot have it both ways. If it's fair for women to have to go through pregnancy and childbirth then it's fair that she have the most rights. After all, it is her body. If you do not agree with me then either wear a condom or don't have sex with someone you do not know inside and out.

Answer 8

from a mans point of view I believe that we should be liable for support if we were involved in the making of the child. As far as not being liable for support, the man can by law sign off all rights to child and sole custody will be given to the mother but, the mother of the child has to agree for this to work. This would eliminate all responsibility to the farther for support and the mother would have all control of decisions made.
Bottom line if a man does not want a child than he must take all measures of protection and some times that doesn't work. That is a chance all take knowing that they will be responsible if she is to become pregnant. If the child is half yours than why would you believe that you should not be responsible for it!!!

Answer 9

There ARE legal documents a man can sign so that he loses all rights to the child. The problem is, the woman has to consent to this. I kind of agree with you. My husband would NEVER dictate what I did to my body, but if he was the kind of person that didn't want kids and wanted to sign away his parental rights, then I'd have said "Good Riddance." Money notwithstanding, I'd rather have the knowledge that my children are completely loved by their parent(s) than have them live with the understanding that one of their parents loves them and the other hates their guts, but gives us money, so that's ok.

Answer 10

yes men should have to support the child even if it is unwanted just as a mother should not abort if it is unwanted. just because some women opt to abort instead of adoption doesn't mean it is right. if you have a living being in this world and it has been created solely from your recreation if you want or do not want this child some one has to provide for it until this being can support its self. i understand what you are saying men don't have much choice either way. and it is not right. its not right for women to have the option to murder children just because it has not passed through the vaginal canal either. but in life we deal with what we are given. women abort, they have future health and psychological problems. women keep, and have no support. men abandon, and some women don't ask for help. some men want the child, and have women that will not let them be a part of their lives. all mistakes or poor decisions, but they all have consequences. if you make them care for them and not just financially. not referring to you but maybe some one reading this. children that are not loved will have issues loving as adults and cause our earth to be that much worse because you didn't take the time to strap up or wait to have relations with some one you wanted to bare children with.