My grandaughter swore out loud to me in the town centre spat at he bus?

Question

i was so ashamed the social worker said if you are disrepectful to them they are back. sometimes i do call her names when i get angry cos she has been refusing to go to school. Its been getting me right down i have been frustrated and showing my feelings

Answer 1

It's a case of tit for tat. Whatever you do in front of her, she's going to think it's alright to do it back. You need to set an example to your granddaughter and show her that what she did was wrong. You did not state how old she was. It is up to you and her mother to lay down the law and teach her the difference between right and wrong. Good luck! X

Answer 2

HI Denny.

You didn't say how old she was so i'll asume she's a teenager. Are you her sole carer or is her mother around? If her mum's around i'd suggest trying to discuss it with her but if not and it's just you you need to realise where she's coming from. Teenagers are aggressive either because they think the whole world is agianst them and they have no other way to express their feelings or (and is more usually the case) they are trying to live up to their peers or the persona they have given themselves for their peers. If she hangs around with people that are "hard" and agressive she will feel the need to make herself more so to try and get somewhere near the top of the pecking order of group. Were her friends around when she spat? Or was there someone from school or the local area that could then go and report her misdeeds to all in hearing range? The thing you need to do is not try to show her how angry you are. I have two of mine so i know how NOT easy this! But all you will do is antognise the situation futher and make her feel like your getting at her. Which will either make her retreat into herself or behave in a worse way. You say she's not going to school, Have you asked her why? Maybe she's being bullied? It sounds like you both have strong and quick tempers. I know it sounds a bit airy fairy but the charity mind do councilling for free at a lot of their centers and whilst it sounds a bit silly it really can help. Some times people just need someone who can sit in the middle and call time for them when an arguments start so it doesn't get out of hand. It really does help even though it is hard to take that first step and admit that might be what you need. Anyway I really hope you both get what you need. Take Care.

Answer 3

Have you tried asking her why she refuses to go to school?
If no logical answer comes out of that, calm down, take a deep breath and make a deal with her. If she finishes school, she can get a car or 1000 dollars. And tell her about all the benefits of school. Meeting guys (always an interest for teen girls). Having a good career and not having to wash toilets for one. Meeting more friends. Learning. Increasing your IQ.

Answer 4

Still having problems Denny? Simply tell her that her behaviour is not acceptable in public or at home. Don't make a fuss over it, simply play it down and she will realise it didn't have the desired effect on you or others.
Your grandaughter will eventually get the message if you say this every time she does it and it will stop. If you make a fuss about it, it will continue.

Answer 5

Jesus, woman! What sort of family do you come from?
HOW does she refuse to go to school? You must be very lenient to allow that - for God's sake, look to yourself. If you say that she is disrespectful, it is because you allow her to be so. If she refuses to go to school, it's because you have given her a choice and if she spits and swears at you (in town or not) then you have no choice but to come down on her like a tonne of bricks.
Take away all of her things, ground her, make her write out lines and wash her mouth out!!! She sounds like a total ASBO and you are encouraging her by behaving in the same way yourself. She must have learned it all from somewhere ...

Answer 6

If you are aggresive to your child they will be agressive back. You need to keep calm even if you are angry ask them questions why dont they want to go to school etc. Show them love and tendrness dont give them the opportunity to to get angry. You must also ask for help from your social worker the child is not the only one who needs to talk but you need to talk to someone aswell.

Answer 7

social worker is right.teenagers think and know they rule the country.how are we, as parents,supposed to control them when the government put obsticals in our way and then say WE are at fault.who has to pay the penalty for the child NOT going to school.but we cant even get them there.my 5yr old constantly says no school today,i just tell her that if she does not go,mummy and daddy will be sent to prison,what will happen when she is a teenager and does not care??????

Answer 8

WEILL, its time to teach that little lady(Hope she's a lady) how to be respectful and do what she's told.
First , go through all the legal things
Time out
no T.V
No phone
No friends
No games
No computer
No money...
WHAT YOU SAY?
Didn't do any good !!
Get that butt....She got a whoopin comin on...
By the way,if you didn't know it...It is a felony for someone to hit older people...65 years old & up.
I'd say let her go to the play PEN.......Scare the disrespect outta her.

Answer 9

Honestly, what comes aroung goes around. You have to keep in mind that you're setting an example for her so if you call her names, you can not expect her to not do the same to you. And why get angry when she doesn't want to go to school? Can you tell me which kid loves to go to school? Even teens dread going to school sometimes so you have to be understanding.

Answer 10

COLIN0506

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PREACH IT BABY!


I swear if i EVER EVER EVER DID THAT i know what would happen. If i didnt go to school i would get my *** whooped!

My mom AND GRANDMOTHER demanded and still do, as i am 15, respect from me.

I get the same back. try the whole respect thing for a few weeks. If that doesent work, SMACK THE HELL OUT OF HER!!!! and if she gets taken away tell her its her own damn fault.


geez i know thats harsh but for freaks sake! What a immature person she is!