Hi, my partner was with a women 10 yrs ago they have a child together, they split up about 7 yrs back, as she was cheating on him, with his mate, they stayed together and got through it, but not long after she was caught doing it again, so my partner ended it,and they went seperate ways, then about 6 months before i got with him he was seeing her behind her boyfriends back, he never told me, it was only about after a year of dating him, his mate told me, i was fuming and constantly argueing about it with him, he said he never loved her, but he wanted to marry her, he always said he was only with her for his daughter, excuses i think.
He says to me i need to get over his past before it ruins our relationship, and i totally agrre, but i constantly feel secound best to his x.
I dont know what to do as we are getting married in 4 months and i dont want to make a mistake incase he does still love her, i love him 100%, just not sure if he does me.
2007-02-26 22:21:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have ben cheated on before and thank God they did that, otherwise I'd probably still be with them. I necer stay with a cheater, I move on very very quickly. Life is too short to stay with someone who'd cheated on you.
2007-02-26 22:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a big committment (and cost) - you aren't sure if he loves you? could be a big gamble getting married. Sounds like it didn't end properly so his ex is still in his mind. Blokes are not easy to talk about this sort of stuff to - they tend to try and put your mind at rest or dismiss what your saying. I was cheated on- and I certainly got over him - good god I can't understand what I ever saw in him! My ex married someone so perhaps it ended properly for me tho.
In a way he is right tho - its his past and it could have been his revenge on the boyfriend that motivated him to cheat with his girlfriend? BTW his ex has got relationship/morality issues eh?
Maybe you feel second best because you have esteem issues? Work on yourself - men are hard to control - he will only stay with you if he wants to - confident women with high self esteem are more attractive to men than women who are needy
And you know we can all worry ourselves to death about what if's but maybe we should just go with the flow.
Enjoy the relationship, stop worrying and think again about the wedding - divorce is not nice
Good luck sweetie
2007-02-26 22:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by billiebimbo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This two people have one thing in common and that is the baby. This is what you should do: Tell your husband to be that as soon as you get married you are going to be responsible of the taking care of the child he has with that woman. meaning that you will be the contact person for whatever the baby needs, You need to know that the way they made that baby was through sex and that means they have memories of the past and have connection, You must understand that once you sleep with a person your spirit interconnect and there is transference and that connection will be there for a long time. Step in so that he does not get close to her. She cheated on him but he still follows her because of the spirits that connect dear. Take over and take charge
2007-02-26 22:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Dr Yahoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT good. You must be trustful and 100% confident in his love. If the thought crosses your mind then its not good enough. You will cry a lot in the marriage because you will make it hard for yourself. Do not allow him to tell you that it will effect your relationship as it already has but to go forward in a marriage you must do your homework and do it once...there are no second chance,
You must love yourself before you love anyone, and if he thinks that you being insecure will effect the relationship then he will have to put himself in your shoes and be a bit more understanding your feeling are 100% valid and he should address them, losing out a prospective marriage is better than losing a family once you are married...
Believe me, every time he is late, you will be sniffing after him like a dog and life will be very hard...You decide...
2007-02-26 22:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was cheated on by my first love. i dropped him there and then. Nobody has to stay with people who cheat if you feel like cheating then just leave your partner that is how i see it. I know i am a black and white person and see the world as such but i believe in right and wrong. I have never regretted it and when i look back at those days i just cannot imagine what i had ever seen in him.:)
2007-02-26 22:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg I just posted a question similar to this one!! omg...I understand you completely!! I am still very much in love with my ex and he just got a gurl pregnant last december...they haven't broken up yet but I know they will because they are only 16 and he won't want to be with her...I just know he still loves me!!! And I've loved him since the day I met him!!! I just can't get these feelings out of my head!!! It drives me crazy!! He cheated on me and we went through so much bullshlt...but to be honest!! I love him so much that I feel like I would still do just about anything for him!! And I ran into him just yesterday and my feelings came rushing to the top of my head!!! I think you should marry him and froget about the other girl!! You were first and so you deserve your man!! You go girl!
2007-02-26 22:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang on did this guy actually cheat on you? You say he was sleeping with his ex before you were toether. If this is the case then you need to let it go. You also will have to accept that they have a child together and until that child is of a certain age you will have to accept that her mother will be a part of your life together.
2007-03-02 09:44:57 · answer #7 · answered by Dimples 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya i was cheated on and all am going to say is that i open the bedroom door it took some time to get over it but then i started to see her again only for her to ask me if i would share her with someone else. guss what i opened my eyes started to enjoy my life for a couple of years then i settled downwith someone else married two kids and life could en be any better.
2007-02-26 22:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been cheated on. I forgave him and we've now been married for ten years and have two beautiful children.
I'd strongly advise you to postpone the wedding for a bit. If you're this uncertain getting married isn't the answer.
2007-02-26 22:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go ahead with any marriage until you're 100% sure of him as well.....
2007-02-26 22:28:51 · answer #10 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋