My brother and I are very close and have always been able to communicate. About a year-and-a-half ago he met a girl that he "fell in love with." The problem is, it's obvious to everyone (friends and family) that this girl isn't right for him. My Bro is a very responible, hard working, intelligent, clean-cut guy and this girl is basically the complete opposite. They are engaged to be married now and it is breaking my heart to see him marry her. All of our friends and family have tried to open his eyes to this relationship and the fact that she isn't right for him, but he hasn't listened. I'm trying to be supportive and patient with him, but it's really hard. I want to somehow tell him that I feel like the marriage won't work - but I don't know how. Any advice?
2007-02-26 20:43:04 · 10 answers · asked by GB 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can not honestly say that " The marriage wont work "
you do not know that the only people that know are the two that have commited themselves to be married and they think it will
Just because it appears to every one that they are opposites do you think they have not talked about that in their quite times ?
How would you like someone meddlin in your love life ?
They know .. and have accepted each other enough to wish to marry ..
My best advice to you would be to butt out .. My guess is your his sister .. and really it will look very bad for you IF you confront either of them with your " accusation " and it might even drive them closer together .. then again it "could " tear them apart and guess who will wear it ... YOU
You will be called everything from Jealous to Mose's donkey ...
Think first before you attempt to interrupt your brothers relationship ... would it not be better to be there for him in case he needs you ?
Let nature and love take its course
2007-02-26 20:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is determined you can't change his mind and your position may cause an estrangement between him and the family. If you are right then he will need you when he is hurting down the road. If you are wrong then you caused the conflict for nothing. Ultimately it is his decision and the best thing to do is live your brother and be his friend.
2007-02-27 04:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by jazzman6812 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is truly gained through argument. Your brother is, from your own words, a responsible, intelligent, grown assed man. But your question suggests he is a fool. What could make him this way? Love, or at least we he sees as love. Your situation could be written as exactly as mine was 4 years ago. It ended poorly. But what man did it make me, to say... I told you she was bad news? You can not convince this man with words. He is perhaps too dedicated, and intelligent, and perhaps quite solid in his decision. The more you tug at him, the more he may feel insulted that you do not see him as that, responsible, intelligent man. You cannot win this trough argument, any ground gained will only provide dissent between the two of you down the road. Do not win by argument, but by actions. How can you indirectly "show" your brother she is bad for him? Seemingly random reminders in casual conversations of other girls who may compare to this one? Both bad and good? Find a way to lay out a lenth of rope... and let the girl hang herself with it. If she is truly as bad for him as you say... showing him light, rather than applying heat---his intelligence should click in.. and hopefully his own selfworth will as well... and this will not end as badly as you fear. And if he still goes trough with it, remember he is your brother, and a grown man... live with it.
2007-02-27 04:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by Samos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand hw it feel.. if you and your family had tried your best to advised him already...then i think there is nothing much u can do already.. He had made that decision himself.. so respect his decision.. is his wife, his marriage...
sometimes people learn things using the hard way.. if the gal is really nt for yr brother, i dun think the realtionship will last long...
So, in the mean while... just be by yr brother and continue to communicate with him often...
hoping the best for u and yr family.
2007-02-27 04:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by Josephine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, firstky, let me say, that I admire your brother for sticking to what he believes in. I'm not sure its fair for you to say anything to him, as it will cause a problem between the 2 of you, as he will more than likely marry this girl. What makes her such a bad person?? Is she just not compatible in your opinion, or is she just downright a nasty person, who is in it for other reasons. If there are serious personality problems, and she is a bad person then say something, but if its genuine love from both their sides, then let it go.
2007-02-27 04:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I can see you all ready told him what do you think about his girlfriend and now is a time to stop. Don~t say anything! You said that you love your brother but it is time to respect him and his choices. He is different than his girlfriend and it is quite OK, because they have fun and interesting relationship.
2007-02-27 04:53:52 · answer #6 · answered by Branka P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. If you dont he will resent you and anybody else that interferes with it, If he decides to marry her.If you love your brother then you will accept the love he has for her. If not then their is nothing but big problems ahead.
2007-02-27 04:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by snoppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never know,it might work for him. As long as she make him happy. Give her a chance. You might be wrong for judged the book by its cover.
2007-02-27 04:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by Lilian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell him how you feel.Also let him know you will be supportive no matter what choice he makes. He is your brother do not hold back.
2007-02-27 05:05:22 · answer #9 · answered by LVforever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hate to have such a interfering judgemental sister, whose life is it anyway
2007-02-27 04:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by judles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋