My son has just let me know that he was upset when he found out his dad has a gf. He said he wanted us to be a family. I didn't want him back b/c I can't trust him. He is making things hard for me with this woman he cheated on me with and she is a psycho and controlling of him. I am not seriously considering getting with him but my son was so distraught by that. We really never were together the whole time while he was in jail but we maintained contact and after he got out he talked to us all the time. He callsto speak to him but he has called me too. I don't like the siuation and I'm either ready to tell him to not have contact period or idk but it will be drastic. He got upset b/c he heard him tell that ***** that he was her husband, thye ain't married their playing house.
Helpful advice please. And I don't talk badly about him to my son either.
2007-02-26 18:33:47 · 5 answers · asked by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No. Your son is upset and he'll get over it. There are loads of divorced/seperated parents and even though the kids don't like it, they will get used to the idea. It's alot healthier to be apart then to be together and fighting constantly. Let your ex play house all he wants. He can also keep carrying on with his psycho gf. Don't let that bother you. Explain to your son that even though you two aren't together, you both love him very much but you two can't live together and that it's ok. Also tell him that your ex can have a new gf because that is what grown up do. They have relationships and that's ok. You might want to get your ex's help on this. If you're both telling him this, he'll more than likely accept it. I know you don't want to talk to your ex but you need to make an effort for your kid's sake. Your son will get over this, it will just take some time. You're being very mature about this so just keep up that frame of mind and hopefully, things will get easier. Good luck!
2007-02-26 18:42:00 · answer #1 · answered by FactoryGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Do not go back to him for the kids sake. But you may want to talk to your ex about your sons concern. If you and he are on semi friendly terms, you should be able to sit down and explain that you both love him very much, but you and your ex can not be together like that anymore.
I think your son is feeling very insecure, the thought is... "If mommy and daddy loved each other, but do not love each other anymore, will they stop loving me and then leave me too?"
Keep your feelings about your ex's relationship to yourself. Vent to a friend or family member or even a therapist. And remember your son will hear things that you say when you do not know he is listening. So only vent when he is DEFINITELY not near.
A cheater will keep cheating. Feel sorry for his new girlfriend.
2007-02-27 02:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by Tsk2Tsk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can understand you want wats best for you child and i would too, but if your ex disrespected you by cheating, he just can't be trusted in the first place....you never know things may go haywire with his new girl and so on after. Its great you don't bad talk him in front of your son, because kids don't forget nothin! Keep doing you, grow on your own for now until you meet a more deserving guy, and explain to your son, "Sweetie, me and your father love each other and you so much that we need our space so things will work for the best" he'll find it hard to grasp but soon as he gets older he'll understand.
2007-02-27 02:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
doesnt sound like dad has been "dad" to your son. your son is feeling detached because of what his dad has done. youre not doing anything but taking care of you....which makes all the sense in the world. your son is trying to hold onto a fantasy he has always wanted. he has attachment issues.
2007-02-27 02:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by tryinthis2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a much better way.
don't go back because of anything else but let be the reason is your goodness and what will make you better coz if you will be a better person you can start doing better for your son.
2007-02-27 02:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by guRl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋