why do i suddenly hate him?

Question

i know i hate special feelings for him
i just dont know how to say them, whenever he is around i tend to act as if he does not exist
and i try to tell myself everyday that im not good enough, and that i should not have a boyfriend because i dont love myself that much,that i can offer someone else myself.
i just want to remain single, and so i push the men i like away from me, and now i suddenly just feel the need to hate him, i know its my fault. if before i still text him and smile at him today and maybe tomorrow i plan on forgetting the whole idea
i dont know plainly, is this a sign that i do have feelings for him? or am i a coward

Answer 1

youre in denial and youre afraid to need him so you push him away.

yes you have special feelings for him. dont worry about it too much, just cheer up and get out of your shell. most of the time its worth to try. you may not get what you want, but for sure, youll learn a lot and feel more alive.

Answer 2

have a relationship and get together and from there you decide after a month or ? form J.A