I just broke up from a relationship that lasted way too long and I have come to realize that I am bad with picking up girls. It seems to me that I never have any clever opener or any open ended question that leads to conversation. It is wierd going from knowing someone so well to trying to talk to someone you didn't know existed until about 5 minutes ago when you first saw them. So my question is not only how do you start the convo but how long is it supposed to last? In my mind this is the only part of my life where im pessimistic, I feel like ill get the girl that responds with one word answers.
Side Note: Peering into the depths of my personality it may be good to know that im afraid of failure in everything I do. I always know everything about anythign before I make my decision, which is probably why I never became good at this. Ill see her, then ill think for 10 minutes about what the hell im supposed to say, then poof opportunity wasted. good going Kyle.
2007-02-26 17:30:36 · 7 answers · asked by Kyle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whoa, you are being way, way too hard on yourself, Kyle. A conversation is good when you can forget when you started it and how long you've been having it. A good conversation is when the amount of time ceases to matter to you. Don't overanalyze things. If you seek your whole life to be perfect, then you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. A girl doesn't want a guy that is perfect. She wants someone that is real. In fact, tonight this is actually the same conversation I had with my boyfriend.
He messed up and made me upset tonight. He beat himself up so much over it that he started sobbing to me saying he's sorry he's not perfect. I smiled and told him I don't want perfect, I want real. Be honest and be yourself. Realize something now before you get too old and you forget to learn this important fact of life. Do not try to impress people. Simply be yourself. If one girl doesn't like who you are, it does NOT mean that you are not good enough or you are doing something wrong. It only means that one girl didn't like the type of guy that YOU are. It doesn't mean that another girl will not find you to be EXACTLY what she wants. Be confident in who you are. Approach a girl in a situation where YOU feel comfortable. If you don't like bars, then don't try to pick up a girl in a bar. If you are a shy guy, there is no shame in dating sites (match.com or eharmony.com are both good. eharmony is made for people looking for a more serious and longterm relationship)
Kyle, please, be confident in who you are. Do not be afraid to fail. You will fail in life. But, it is in your failures that you learn more than you do in your successes. Pick up from your mistakes and move on with your life. You are human. It's okay to be human. :-)
Amanda
2007-02-26 17:41:21 · answer #1 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a book that makes suggestions. Here is one from amazon.com (and don't forget your local library).
How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends: Revised And Updated by Don Gabor (Paperback - Jan 9, 2001)
Then practice, practice, practice. Go to a busy coffee shop and share a table. Start a conversation with someone in the grocery store line. Set a goal to talk to several strangers each day.
2007-02-27 01:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by jazzman6812 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the trick is joking with them. Making someone laugh, then introducing yourself, is the key to meeting people. Some people might not go for that. If you are dealing with what some of us in the male community call a 10. You are going to have to become alittle more creative. You need to surprise them, because 10's are used to guys coming up to them and they are pretty annoyed by the same old stuff. I suggest you use a "neg." THis is a way to playfully insult them, and they will be like wtf!!. But it has to be playful. The skill on neg hits is a hard one to master, but through practice anyone can develope the skills. Good luck!! But please remeber negs are only for 10's you can really hurt someone if you mess with them and they are not a 10.
2007-02-27 01:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometime.. when ur not looking... it will come to u... but in ur case... it seem that u want to go to her so... being a communcation major... People normally like to start with the general stuff questions. (college)... What ur major?, do u live in the dorms? where do u work? starting a conversation with the attention of wanting more then friend isn't great... u have to be normal... act normal.. .as if u just want to be her friend... my mother always told meeh... it's always best for them to come to u then u to them... :)
2007-02-27 01:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by honeyxmust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying too hard.
Try: "Hi, my name is (your name here). Can I buy you a drink?"
Or: "Wow..., what is your name?"
Don't worry about the failure thing. When you succeed, it's worth taking all the failures along the way.
2007-02-27 01:37:39 · answer #5 · answered by khanofali 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could help.... i have the same problem, so im using ur question to find out answers lol
2007-02-27 01:38:04 · answer #6 · answered by richy200023 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont ask yes or no questions.
WOMEN LOVE COMPLIMENTS.
tell her something that she cant reply to, then jump right in with a new comment?
WOMEN LOVE COMPLIMENTS.
oh yes did i tell you... women love compliments.
2007-02-27 01:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by Mary Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋