don't know what to do with my boyfriend!?

Question

My boyfriend is a DJ. Actually he is pretty well known in the party scene or whatever. But I don't party at all. I don't go to clubs at all either, i went only twice that was with him when he wasn't working. When he is working, he is always surrounded by half-naked chicks with the perfect fake bodies. but anyways, we been going out for 3 years. sometimes I feel insecure and weird about his job. But he says it's just a job. He has to do what he gotta do. I'm a medical school student, my parents pay for everything. I'm spoiled in that way. While my bf works at nights and go to school during the day, putting himself through college. Even though he is 4 years older, I think by the time he finishes college, I'll finish medical school. I love reading, he never read a book his whole life. I'm a nerd (or a good looking nerd, haha), and proud of it. We are so different. Sometimes I wonder where this relationship would end up? But should I be the one feeling insecure? is it gonna work out?

Answer 1

Neither of you should be feeling insecure in the relationship. I am also a DJ and am surrounded by men as well as women. To be a good DJ, one has to put on a good show and cater to the crowd some. That's what keeps them coming back, and it's what gets his name "out there" for more potential business. He's an entertainer and if you want to be with him, you will just have to accept it. It's how it is. If you're worried that he might cross a line with one or more of those half naked girls, you should question the true quality of your relationship. Think about it, why wouldn't you trust him? Do you have justifiable reasons, is your intuition telling you something, or is it just your own insecurities? Because allowing your insecurities to control you will only cause unnecessary difficulties and not resolve anything. If he's not doing anything to cause you not to trust him, then let yourself trust that he will make good decisions with respect to your relationship. Lack of trust can destroy a relationship just as lack of honesty can. So you have to make up your mind whether or not you can deal with him just as he is. He's making money doing something he obviously likes to do, which is really pretty cool. It wouldn't be right to ask him to change for you just to cater to your insecurities, and it's not right to badger him or make him pay the price for your insecurities either.

Answer 2

That is a very complicated question. I've worked as a wedding planner for a resort and we had this kind of young, good looking DJ. As I imagine your boyfriend to be. There were always girls all around him. (He also DJ'ed at a near-by bar). Every weekend new and different half naked girls. After most parties he would be invited by these girls to partake in the after party but he would never go.. He would pack his equipment immediately and bounce. I asked him why he never went and he told me because he had a girlfriend that he loved and would never be unfaithful to. He said that this was his job and their are always going to be these girls that mean nothing to him. (AW)
I can see why you would feel insecure. Maybe your boyfriend just needs to tell you how he feels about you more often. So you won't have those feelings.
Your never going to know how any of your relationships are going to end up. And that what makes life so interesting.
Personally I believe that opposites truly do attract. Would you honestly want someone like you? Maybe you should get him books on things that hes interested in.. cars, sports, etc.. even if they do have pictures.

Answer 3

Honey it sounds like you have a good thing going, so why would you leave it behind?? You openly admit that you are insecure bout him being around women at his job, but has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?? To lose faith in the relationship that you have both put so much time and effort into?
If the answers to these question are no, then obviously you are the woman that he wants to be with. Let him decide otherwise. Do not blindy ignore you r insecurities but do not let them run your life for you. If nothing else talk to him, see where he sees you relationship in the future.

Answer 4

If you've been together for that long, something is working. Think about what it is that's keeping you guys together. If you feel good around each other and things are going well then maybe it's just overanalyzing it that is keeping you from being fully happy. I say just let it be until there is really an issue instead of being afraid that one may develop. You both sound like your ambitious but are fulfilling it in different ways. That's probably a good thing, I'd say. Good luck.

Answer 5

You really have to think about the differences and see if they are a really big deal. Hey, u don't have to be the same. Opposites always attract. My husband and I are different too and he is 7 years older. He is more quiet and I am wild. But u have to see for urself if it is worth ir or if it is too much and u don't want it. Also about the girls around him, that is bs that it is his job. Fine I understand that there will be girls there but hey as long as they are not all up on him and him not doing anything about it. Just becuase he si a dj doesn't mean the girls have to be on him.. If they are not all on him then u just have to trust him if u love him. Good Luck.

Answer 6

OK, so I DJ and I can see how you could feel insecure about your bf's lifestyle. And being a DJ is a lifestyle that one gets used to. Keep in mind that just because i play out it does not necessarily means that my girlfriend (i do not have one anymore but that's a different story)have to be present at every party, but I would like her to trust me, because after all it is what i do.

Answer 7

It's called opposites attract. Your a woman of course your going to feel insecure with him working around half-naked chicks but as long as it is you that he is with and he isn't sleeping around with all of them then there really isn't a reason to be insecure.

You have him and if those other chicks are drooling over him feel lucky that you are his and he is yours.

Good Luck it will work out if you want it too.

Answer 8

Sounds like you inhabit 2 different worlds. If you have nothing in common your union will become tedious. Maybe you should start making new friends who share your interests and your lifestyle.