how do i make her love me again??

Question

Hi guys, well I have been with the same girl for three years, and we have been engaged for a while now. The thing is that I've been a paraplegic since last year from a car accident. The accident has changed everything and now I think she really HATES me. I love her sooo much, I don't want to live a day of my life without her. She is so beautiful and funny and smart and she is everything to me -- she is my world. I would do anything for her, but when I tell her that, all she asks me to do is walk again and be a "whole man". She became bitter after my accident and even smashed birthday cake in my face when i asked for a piece. She taunts me to come upstairs and things like that and says I'm not a real man anymore. What can I do to make her be like before. I love her so much. She said she would move out but she has no place to go but her parents. I don't want her to leave me. What should I do??? please help me. thanks.

Answer 1

I am so sorry that happened to you on so many levels. Unfortunately, this happens a lot. True story: My sister and a few ladies who attend her congregation visit this young man on occasion. He is only twenty years old, beautiful, really beautiful, not that that matters. But I understand that he is heavenly handsome, adonis face, eyes and hair. Whitest teeth you ever saw. He was head over heels in love with his young fiance or wife (I think they had just gotten married) when just over a year ago he was in a horrific accident. It's a wonder he lived at all. He survived, but is a complete quadrapalegic. He can't do anything but blink his eyes. Seriously. He cannot move from neck down. And he will probably never recover, not even a little bit. He can't write, speak, or communicate. His wife has not been to see him even once in the hospital. Not once. His aunt, who loves him dearly, visits him often. He loves his aunt and before the accident he was very close to her, in that he called and visited and was always on hand if ever she needed anything. A few of the ladies from my congregation visit along with his aunt, I believe on at least a weekly basis. His eyes indicate his joy when the arrive, and his abject sorrow when they leave. They are always filled with tears. He can still cry. Sadly, this is an entirely true account and there is little to no hope that his condition will ever change. You have so much more in so many ways. I know that his pain doesn't reduce your own, but it shows that you are not hopeless. Your girlfriend is either emotionally immature or unable to accept this overwhelming change in her life. Perahps her heartless behavior is her way of venting her own rage, frustration and helplessness. In any event, she is not your be all and end all. They say that Michelangelo insisted that David was there, inside the stone all along, in perfect form. It was merely up to him to bring him out. Thus is your life, your happy fulfilling life, waiting there for you. You are more than equipped with everything you need to make it a reality. Good luck to you and God bless you always. Your girlfriend will either come around, or she won't. But that has nothing to do with you and can only hurt you if you let it.

Answer 2

This is real sad to hear.. first of all sorry about your accident.

Your "fiance" should understand that you literally CANNOT do certain things anymore, and if she's engaged to you wouldnt that mean that she loves you? And "if" she does, then she should love you no matter what happens to you. In fact; she should love you more now that you have something that is working against you. She shouldnt be supporting your inabilities. Think about it... Yeah you love her and you don't want her to leave but you're still the same guy; maybe not physically but if she's with you because of you then she won't leave... Tell her that you still are the same guy and that she should understand you that you "can't" do things and tell her how you feel... don't just plainly "say" it to her. Talk. Hope everything works out.

Answer 3

are you serious? that is very sad. well...i'm sure she does not HATE you. she is indeed bitter about what happened, and she's having quite a hard time dealing with it. but she should realize that you are still the same person she fell in love with before the accident...it just might take her a while to realize that. what you could do is either try to do all you can for her; as in do little sweet things that she will appreciate...or you can give her some space to accept what has happened. i know it must be terribly hard for the both of you. but if she truly loved you in the beginning, she will come around . meanwhile, you shouldn't give up on her. you need to show her that you're still a "man", and you're the man for her....the man she got engaged to. best of luck to you!

Answer 4

LOOK you need to get a grip. YOU need to turn your life over to the LORD. YOU need to live your life as tho your going on with out her. TELL HER THIS, you are a whole man. YOU haven't changed. GO ON With your dreams. DONT build your life around her. IF she follows you fine if she don't fine.TAKE your brains go to college. WRITE a book of your struggles. YOU would be surprise the lives you will touch. DONT ASK HER TO DO NO MORE 4 YOU get some one else to care 4 you.SMASHING food in your face is Abuse.THIS woman has a problem. AND she is far far far from G0d. YOU don't want her to leave you? she has already left you in her heart. praying 4 u ----star

Answer 5

The answer to this one depends.

Is there a chance you will ever walk again? (In other words is she really trying to aid you and get you through the depression you are suffering?)
If so, then maybe physical therapy and working your buns off, will bring you around to the man she fell in love with.

Is there no chance you will ever walk again? In which case she never truly loved you in the first place and she will eventually find somewhere else to live and you have to prepare yourself for that eventuality. You MUST get counselling to help you cope with both the loss of the use of your legs and the eventual loss of the woman who never really loved you.

Answer 6

I guess she has alot to work through, not being able to accept you being a paraplegic now...perhaps Her dreams have disappeared also and she can't /won't accept it. To get married, have children together..etc..and now she's torn to pieces not knowing what to do and probably feeling guilty for having these thoughts.
You need to sit down and try talking with her, ask her why she's so angry and what you both can do to get through this * You can't promise you'll ever walk again....but she needs to decide if she's willing to put her dreams out the window of a family..unless adoption....or what she wants to do* GOODLUCK TO YOU BOTH*~!

Answer 7

first of all you can make some one love you again. but if you want
my advice she never love you in the first place. she has a lot
dam nerve to say what she said to you. how dare this women
disrespect you like that. i glad that you are doing better but you
need to let her go she not worth your time. i would kick her to the
curb so fast it would make her head swim. she need to be out
with the trash like she is. you deserve someone that will truly
love you. this women does not . god bless you and keep you
you stay strong.AND YOU NEED TO LET HER KNOW THAT
ONLY PERSON IN THIS SITUATION THAT A REAL MAN IS
YOU . BECAUSE SHE NOT A WOMEN AT ALL. WHAT YOU
NEED IS A REAL WOMEN WHICH SHE DOES NOT FIT THE
BILL. WHY YOU PLAYING.

Answer 8

You are a good person and a great one and you are worth someone who is really loving. You may love her a lot but she doesnt deserve someone with a good heart as yours. If she treated you right, then you would hold on, but in marriage and in love its supposed to be that in sickness and in health you stick together, well, she hasnt stayed by you. As much as it is hard, let go of her and you will find someone who trully loves you. All the best and God Bless you.

Answer 9

well i know this isnt what u want to hear. But for someone to be like that and throw it in ur face that ur not a man. Hell No. Kick her *** out she will be fine with her parents. You deserve alot better than that. If she truly loved u she wouldnt say that stuff and why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesnt love you the way you love them.

Answer 10

You dont deserve to be treated like this. Breaking up hurts....especially when you are still in love but she is being cruel. Do you really want this person to be your wife???? There are plenty of lovely women out there for you. This one is no good. Another thought I have is that may b she is doing this so you break up with her. Lets face it if she dumped you people aren't going to show her much sympathy are they.