i tryed to be really careful what i do and say im scared to death to be rejected how could i be brave without making a misteak
2007-02-26 15:43:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't the dating game/game of love is about rejection, pain, and being vulnerable.
2007-02-26 15:45:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, unfortunately, you can't have one without the other. Anytime you put yourself out there, you have a chance of being rejected. It is a part of life. You are not the first person to be rejected in this life, and you will not be the last person rejected in this life. I have been rejected by women. I have also rejected some women too. I have never heard of someone dying from being rejected. Now, yes it does hurt, but guess what, check yourself, your still alive. It did not kill you did it? Now you can focus on asking someone else. Even if you get rejected 100 times, it only takes 1 yes to make it worth those 100 no's.
Good Luck
P.S. You are not going through anything different every man in this world has faced or will face in his life....
2007-02-26 23:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Chris H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God, what are they making males out of these days, sugar and spice and everything nice?
I just spent 10 minutes venting my frustration after reading this, so now I'm calm enough to respond.
simple answer: You don't. You get NOTHING in this life without failure and rejection. NOTHING. Think about it. Think about successful people; athletes, actors, politicians... you think they got their success without mess ups? You think even Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp weren't rejected by women when they were in school? The key isn't AVOIDING rejection, the key is learning how to deal with it. And getting all sad about it and crying is NOT the way to deal with it. Be a man, for chrissakes!
For starters, stop being so careful! Has it gotten you anywhere? It doesn't look like it. How can you be brave without making a mistake? If you knew you weren't gonna make a mistake, there would be no need to be brave would there? The real question is how can you be brave even though you might make a mistake?
The first key is your thought patterns. Rejection and failure in itself is NOT upsetting. I make mistakes almost daily and I don't get upset by them. So obviously what is upsetting is YOU. Or rather, your way of looking at the situation. Start noticing what you tell yourself when you fail or make a mistake, and start ATTACKING those thoughts. Force yourself to think positively EVERY DAY, every time you catch yourself getting negative. Start telling yourself positive things. Think about it logically. Just because you got rejected once, twice, even ten times, does that mean that you will definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, get rejected again next time? There's no way to prove that, so there's absolutely no way you can REALLY say that you are destined for failure. All those kinds of statements are hogwash.
The next step is to surround yourself by people who you want to be, act, or think like. Get around people who are good with women and positive about possibilities. Go online and look up some sites or blogs about picking up women. Guys on there are excited about the prospects, anxious and curious, and some of that might rub off on you, plus you'll get lots of ideas. You become what you are surrounded by.
Third, DO IT. "but but..." I don't care! This is the only thing left. You have two choices are this point. Spend the rest of your life whining and regretting what might have been, or taking action and finding it. It's your life, and you only get one. So choose.
2007-02-26 23:59:05 · answer #3 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this wrong way, but maybe it'd help to have someone walk you through your decision making process, like a (good) therapist or someone. It sounds like you're playing a lot of it out in your head and maybe there's some anxiety issues there that are tripping you up. Perhaps if you get those worked out, the other will come more naturally.
Focus on yourself first. The girl thing will come in time.
2007-02-26 23:51:43 · answer #4 · answered by matt 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to believe in yourself. Dont take it so serious, please! Keep in mind that the girl you are thinking about is a person too and she has no more value as a person than you do! Just give yourself a break Michael, dont be so hard on yourself. If she doesnt like you then you know you can move on, but if you never make the move you'll be wondering what if forever. Work on that because you NEED confidence to do anything in life!
2007-02-26 23:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by Topaz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems that your fear itself is holding you back from saying and doing the right thing when you meet someone you like But dont let that hold you back. Try letting the girl come to you and if that doesnt work its either stop trying (alone) or having many chances. About the fear of being rejected: Thats something your just gonna have to overcome with your heart.
wish you the best....
2007-02-26 23:58:58 · answer #6 · answered by poison girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ease yourself into it by starting very casual conversations with girls (even ones that aren't girlfriend material). this will help you gain confidence, and you can learn a lot from girls you are "just friends" with. once you have been doing this a while, you will be able to read a girls body language during a casual low risk conversation and you will know when to go for it. if and when you are rejected (it will happen its part of life) just brush yourself off and move on.
2007-02-27 00:05:31 · answer #7 · answered by pandora078 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET SOME CONFIDENCE! It's so un attractive when someone has no confidence!
2007-02-26 23:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by coolchic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't, you have to risk it
2007-02-26 23:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋