My husband recently deployed and now my 2yr old doesn't want to sleep in her bed.?

Question

My husband deployed about 2 months ago and this week my 2 yr old daughter refuses to go to sleep in her bed.She has always been really independent and has been adjusting well.We moved I started to go to school and she has been doing pretty good with staying with family while I am gone.She understands when I tell her I am coming back.I have tried everything.One night she slept in the playpen one night she had the dog sleep with her tonight I tried to get her to sleep on a little kids fold out couch but nothing is working, I laid down with her and she fell asleep but the min I got out of her room she woke up screaming.I hate to cave and let her sleep in my bed but that is where she is tonight and I really don't want to make a habit out of it.I tried leaving the door open I tried closing it and putting a safety handle on it so she couldn't open it and that make it worse.I need some new Ideas I get the seperation anxiety but what do i do should I just let her sleep in my bed for now

Answer 1

Let her sleep with you, your not caving although it will be a transition when it is time for her to go back to her own bed. This is just as traumatic for her if not more. I would also be on the look out for other regressive behavior such as bed wetting, nightmares, wanting Binky's or bottles back. Separation Anxiety is very hard for a child who all she knows is daddy went away and didn't come back. This is an adjustment for you both and you should cut her as well as yourself some serious slack. I would get a book on serious seperatin anxiety and prepair yourself for some things you may face in the future so you are ready and can catch them before they escalate too far. Good Luck and I hope your husband is home soon.

Answer 2

She misses her daddy and you are the only parent that she has right now. This has to be hard on her, especially since she does not understand why her daddy has not come back yet.
She needs to feel safe and secure. Kids who go through a major change at ages where they 1) cannot understand what is going on and 2) have no control over their enviorment will act more needy or have a period of regression as to gain some since of control and balance.
Just let her sleep with you for now. Let her feel safe and wanted. You might to help her find something that is tangable to hold on to at night that will remind her of her daddy (You could stuff an old shirt and turn it into a pillow.).
Parents cannot always prevent their children from experiencing stress when the Reserve member is called to duty. They may not fully understand why Dad or Mom is gone and they may worry about their safety. They will also be very perceptive to what the parent at home is feeling. These fears may consciously or subconsciously trouble children. The following are signs of separation anxiety that children may exhibit when their parent is away.

Preschool or Kindergarten Age Children
Clinging to people or favorite toy or blanket.
Unexplained crying or tearfulness.
Choosing adults over same-age play mates.
Increased acts of violence toward people or things.
Shrinking away from people or becoming very quiet.
Sleep difficulties or disturbances (waking, bad dreams)
Eating difficulties or change in eating patterns.
Fear of new people or situations.
Keeps primary care giver in view.
She will soon readjust to her new environment and things will be (almost) back to "normal". Give you and her a break. I am sure that she misses him as much as you do. I am sure that she feels that from you. Talk about him. Look at pictures. Try to keep on as "normal" as possible. If she sees that you can, she will follow in your example.
Good luck and thank you and your husband for the sacrifice that you both are making. It can't be easy. I don't take that for granted. My brother in the US Army Reserve. They are brave men and women! I wish you and your family the best and prayers for your husbands safe return.

Answer 3

sounds like alot has changed in herlittle life,dads gone,new home, moms gone...she might need to feel a little more secure with just the 2 of you...maybe throw a sleeping bag on the floor in your room for her,she might get tired of it and decide she wants her own bed.is there a pic of the 3 of you to put by her bed...or maybe some light music playing as goes to sleep...then again a little cuddling in mommys bed isn't all that bad...she will grow out of it before long..good luck

Answer 4

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techniques for making their children sleep,
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at http://nosleep.in/sleepchildren.html

Answer 5

She is obivously in a uncomfortable state of mind. Cater to her needs. Whats the big deal? She is only 2, she should be sleeping with you anyways. W/or w/out the husband there or not.

Answer 6

my grandchildren went through this twice- once when mom deployed, then when dad did. here was the solution that worked for them: anywhere the child would sleep was ok for a while- a few months. then a few months of falling asleep in parents bed, then moved to cot in parents room. then cot in own room. eventually they slept in their own beds. its hard on all of you. do what feels right- forget the opinions of others. i pray for your familys well-being.

Answer 7

DEAR
THE ANSWER IS YES SHE IS REALLY SCARED BECAUSE OF HER DADDY IS GONE NOW AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHO ARE HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ARE REALLY BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU SAY YOU ARE COMING BACK ARE NOT. SHE IS SCARED TO DEATH ABOUT ALL OF THIS AND SCENTS YOU HAVE A COMPUTER AT HOME NOT TO BE MEAN ARE HURTFUL MY MOMMY DID NOT RAISE ME TO BE DISRESPECTFUL YOU CAN DO YOUR HOME SCHOOLING ON LINE MY BROTHER IS WORKING AND GOING TO SCHOOL ON LINE OK THE ONLY TIME YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE SCHOOL IS THE TEST THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE THAT IS WHAT MY BROTHER DOES PLEASE TRY IT TALK TO YOUR SCHOOL TEACHERS THEY WILL UNDERSTAND IT ALL PLEASE TAKE CARE

Answer 8

why not let her sleep with you and tell her that she can sleep with you for a couple of days then go back to her bed. let her watch tv in her bed or something to ease her in comfortably. bribery works well too!

Answer 9

Sleeping in your bed is not normal for a two year-old. Talk to your doctor. For now, talk to her about her dad and tell her your not leaving her and daddy didn't want to. Lay next to her in her bed for awhile but keep her away from your own. She needs to be comfortable in her own room. A night light (though they say it could be bad) may help.