Ok let me try to sum this up. My friend leaves her 2 kids w/ a licensed sitter. Her ex who does not financially support his kids has asked to see them like 2 or 3 times. Their arrangement is he will let her know when he wants to see them for a few hrs and he will pick them up from the sitter during the day while she's at wrk. He has no job. She lets the sitter know what time to expect him & the sitter makes him sign in and out of the day care ctr she has. Out of nowhere he shows up, interigates the sitter, threatens to have her licensed taken away & she tells him that she cannot release the kids to him unless pre-authorized by the mom since she is afterall, employed by her..not him cuz he doesnt help pay for babysitting. Yes, he DOES have a legal right to see his kids but I see the sitters point of view. He doesnt care about the kids, he just wants to upset my friend. What can she do, that is still legal, that can stop him from trying to take the kids unannounced? Any advise will do.
2007-02-26 15:24:28 · 10 answers · asked by Maria 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I DO know that as far as daybare goes, the sitter is right...the mom hired her and dropped the kids off, so she can't release them to anyone else unless the mom says so. The sitter could get sued if she let the dad have them and he kidnapped them one day or something. So she's right to cover her booty. Unless that is "his day" set up by the guidelines of the court, there is no reason he should be allowed to pick up the kids unannounced by mom. A good idea would be for the to go back to their lawyers and have an agreement set up about what day and what time the father should have the kids so there wouldn't be any question.
2007-02-26 16:49:30 · answer #1 · answered by grayhare 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He does NOT have the right to harass the babysitter. Unless HE is on the roster to pick up his children BY LAW the babysitter can NOT release the children to him. If she does THE LAW can revoke her license. What she can a SHOULD do is dial 911 and tell the operator that a non custodial parent who does not have permission to pick up his children is attempting to do so. If he threatens her of course she has the right to stay safe but she should at least try to get a license plate number for the police to go on once they catch him he will be charged with kidnapping and the rest will be in the hands of courts. Just like in public schools only those people authorized to pick up chldren may do so, all others the schools are required to call the police.
2007-02-26 23:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She needs to please go get a Parenting Plan , ASAP so that she gets/has legal physical custody of the children. The visits will be set up per the parenting plan as well. How often, when, and for how long. Once the judge has signed that into effect, he has to abide by it. And this also protects her in case, hypothetically, he were to take the children sometime, and not return them on time. Or at.all. He has no right to come and harrass the daycare person. The threats-she could possibly call the cops on him. But, with the parenting plan in place, there would be no question about what is what. If she can, possibly get an attorney to take care of this for her, or she will need to take time off of work to do it herself. And, she can get a temporary order -parenting plan, possibly ex-parte (That day she fills out the paperwork), however, the father will need to be served a copy of the paperwork at least a week in advance of the court date she will be given when she does this paperwork. She cannot serve him, someone else, 18 or older serves him. Also, if need be, if she can at least consult with an attorney, find out if she can (she can possibly) either get a restraining order (again temporary), or an aniti harrassment order for him to stay away from the daycare. Also, she needs to find out about the legal responsibility of the daycare provider with giving him the kids, without a parenting plan, or any other legal documentation to show who has physical legal custody of the children. My concern is the daycare worker not get in any legal problems for giving the dad the children to begin with. "just in case". The daycare person, please check with local police about the laws about the dad coming and harrassing her, etc. like he does. She should be able to call the cops to get him out of there if/when he were to try to show up. I wish y'all the best. Take care.
2007-02-27 01:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a parent and should have been put down as someone who could see the child unless he is a danger to the child. Even if a man doesn't have a job, that doesn't mean he doesn't love his kids or doesn't want to see them. I am not saying that all penniless parents are good sorts, but not all penniless parents are bad. For example, young parents who wind up splitting up might be in a situation where the dad can barely take care of himself let alone his children. Often times, the mother comes out looking like a saint because she is adequately taking care of the kids, albeit with the state's assistance, something the father doesn't get. I have had many young men write to us about the isolation felt when everything is taken away from them emotionally, then the state comes in and says, "We will be taking a fair portion of your minimum wage existence." Dad gives up and quits work, gets labeled a deadbeat dad, courts get involved and he is held in contempt of court and sent to jail, meanwhile the back payments build up, mother says pretty nasty things to child about dad, dad doesn't feel close to child anymore, takes under the table jobs to survive (after he gets out of jail), goes back to jail because he is still in arrearages, and the cycle leads to depression, hostililty, possible crime, possible drug use, etc. Why? Perhaps it was kids having kids, or maybe it is inequitable child custory laws?
I would like to know some further details. What sort of parent would wish for such an uneven split of a few hours every other week to see his children? Was he abusive? What was his relationship with the kids when he was still married. Not now, things could have eroded so badly that he may not want anything to do with them now, because perhaps she has made them hate him. There are some variable that don't make sense. First, if he only has seen them LIKE two or three times, as you say, how did he know to go to a baby sitter's house for them? That doesn't make that much sense, because if he was fighting for them or there was fear that he was going to take them, he would be seeing them much more. I once went through a divorce with two sons involved. My first wife and I agreed on a near perfect split of days in the year. We coexisted in the lives of our sons and when they were of age, they chose to live with me full time, but still communicate with their mother constantly. I decided that since I was the "winner" I shouldn't ask for money from her. I felt she was obligated to pay for their trips when they went to see her, and for her to share in related expenses such as clothing. More settlements should take in the WHOLE picture when deciding what is best for the children.
2007-02-27 02:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Randall A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sitter should call the police if he is there to harass her, that should not be tolerated, especially with children in the presence of it. If there is a court ordered visitation arrangement, and he is violating that order, she can take him back to court on the issue, if there are no court orders, she should file papers and get it all in writing for her own protection.
2007-02-26 23:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by freakychicky34 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She needs to get a court order.... IMMEDIATELY. Then, she has a leg to stand on.
If a court sets it out, it's pretty much ironclad. Until a court order is issued, she really can't say, "He can't pick the kids up from the sitter".
2007-02-27 00:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
take him to court...so the judge can impose a child support order for each of the kids...she may also need to get some sort of court ordered custody papers if she can prove that he is an unfit parent...also the babysitter has a legal obligation to the mother and she cannot release the kids to another person without her consent, regardless of the fact that he is the father.
2007-02-26 23:31:20 · answer #7 · answered by Retarded Genius 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All she really needs to do is call the cops when he shows up and she has not been told by the mother that it is ok for him to pick up the children.
She sounds like she is running a day care from her home. So no matter that she does day care in her home it is STILL A HOME.. and she can ask anyone to leave at anytime.
2007-02-27 01:01:11 · answer #8 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stick by her guns, she is right in not letting him take the children unannounced.
He has responsibilities with his rights, and one is not to harrass the sitter and to call ahead of time.
2007-02-26 23:30:54 · answer #9 · answered by Carlene W 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's not paying child support adequately she can take him back to court to reduce his social role in the children's lives or atleast have the court set dedicated visitation days.
2007-02-26 23:31:18 · answer #10 · answered by tarnefar 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋