everytime we have a disagrement its always my fault dont matter if i know iam right.. at the end of ower disagrement iam wrong. like the say i fall to the bottom of the pile. i want to feel special and loved i dont think this way it should work. I talked to him about doing somthing about it becouse it makes me feel very badl
2007-02-26 15:21:55 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From my experience he will never change this. I'm married to a guy that came home from the war this way, its been this way for four years now. Get rid of him while its easy.
2007-02-26 15:25:16 · answer #1 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are describing is someone that is very controlling. He needs that feeling of being right no matter if it hurts you or not. If he cannot admit when he is wrong and that maybe sometimes you are right, then he has some issues that will cause problems in the relationship later on. You need to talk to him and talk to him honestly. Tell him what it makes you feel like when he does that to you. Tell him that it makes you feel small. If he doesn't realize his mistake and change the we he treats you, then leave him. You are worth more than that. You deserve to be treated better. You deserve to find someone that will treat you the way you WANT to be treated.
Amanda
2007-02-26 15:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think any one thing can be wrong in a relationship as long as moral boundaries aren't broken. I think the person who can articulate their feelings and their side of the argument better usually ends up seeming, "right." I have the same problem with my girlfriend. I can just say why I do all the things I do, and how she makes me feel. And she just never really thinks about why she does the things that she does or communicates as well with me. She never thinks about reasoning for her own actions, she just says, "I'm wrong." And then this unhealthy dynamic is created where I always seem right, even for problems where there is no, "right and wrong."
2007-02-26 15:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by The Ninth Cut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, get the hell out as fast as you can. The whole thing sounds like bad news. If he's placing blame on you for everything, chances are is that he's guilty about something and wants to get himself off the hook by making you feel bad. Been there, done that! If he's not willing to take a step back and listen to your suggestion on making the relationship work to make you both happy, then it's not worth it. The relationship is suppose to be 50/50. Good Luck!
2007-02-26 15:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by Punkie Brewster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue isn't your boyfriend. The issue is why do you allow anyone to treat you that way? If you truly believed that you deserve to be loved, treasured and respected then you wouldn't settle for anything less than that. Work on improving your self-esteem by taking care of yourself, writing in a journal etc. Really think about what qualities are important to you in a relationship. And you might find that this relationship isn't what you want anyway.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~
2007-02-26 15:38:04 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He his abusive, both of you have low self-esteem. The relationship is going nowhere and will be disfunctional forever. Find someone else with self-esteem, so he can help you build yours. Better yet, you sound like you are too young to be in a relationship. Being by yourself, without a boyfriend might be the best thing for you right now.
2007-02-26 15:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by Dr_maayan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get away from this guy as quickly as possible, no matter how fantastic he SEEMS to be.
anyone who wants to make you feel bad has issues about his own worth. trust me: he feels TEN TIMES as worse than you feel. he is not in a healthy state of mind. this guy you are seeing is attracted to weakness. frankly my dear, you are being weak. he gets off on it. he doesn't like feeling like the weakling he is, so he tries to dominate you.
your instincts are telling you that this isn't right. i can tell by your post. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE. get rid of this guy NOW. he isn't going to stop belittling you.
trust me...i went through this for SEVERAL YEARS, thinking my guy would change if i talked it out with him. this is the kind of person your guy is...it's a shame, but it's true.
i just wish somone had told me to listen to my instinct. i was feeling exactly what you are feeling...and i should have left the man. thank goodness i eventually DID leave him, but we wasted a lot of time figuring out that we aren't right for each other.
anyone who makes you feel miserable is WRONG FOR YOU.
people in your life should show love and affection at all times. even when there is a disagreement...they should still show you respect and honor your dignity.
dump him, honey.
2007-02-26 15:30:02 · answer #7 · answered by soulsista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him what you just told us here on answers. and if he doesn't understand and finds a way to turn it around you need to sit back and ask yourself. "do i wanna like this way, or do i deserve better?" are the pros outweighing the cons? Is there something about him that makes it worth all the trouble and stress? this sounds like a time to sit back and think. the fact that you posted this question makes me feel for you. i feel your frustration. i've been there. it was something else in my marriage that was causing the tension and creating that exact same environment. we worked on it somehow, still not sure how, but we did. we are fine now. so there is hope, but how much work will it take? girl, i feel for you and i hope you work things out.
2007-02-26 15:29:43 · answer #8 · answered by jess l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the same that a man is supposed to feel when his girlfriend treats him like he is always in the wrong. If you really KNOW for a fact that you're right then that's one thing, but be careful not to be so defensive that you don't realize when you yourself are wrong.
2007-02-26 15:26:23 · answer #9 · answered by D.L. Miller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person who would truly love you would not always make you feel in the wrong. Good for you for telling him how it makes you feel, but, if he doesn't change, it is a clear sign this relationship will only being unhappiness to you. It would be better, then, to find someone kinder and more loving.
2007-02-26 15:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by jom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋